Bring Me to Life
by 93Mika
Summary: Kara Danvers, Beloved Daughter and Sister (1811 – 1829). "Hey Kara." Mon-El smiled to himself as he greeted the girl behind all the ghost stories in Crimsonwood...
1. Chapter 1: Awakening

Hello everyone!  
I'm back with a new work for you all to give you something to pass the time with until the new episodes resume. AND I should warn you this fanfic is by no means a joke! It's a real deal! It's a classic HORROR story. My first try at writing horror in fact. so proceed at your own risk!

I should also probably tell you that don't have a beta and all the mistakes are mine.

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Awaking**

A dark swarm of crows were flying in the twilight. Their solid blackness were obscuring the crimson, dim and weak beams of the dying sun, spreading a grim, sickening feeling into the heart of any poor soul who would be unfortunate enough to lay eyes upon the sight.

Mon-El dragged his feet across the cold, frozen and uneven ground of the abandoned and god forsaken graveyard that was holding the almost dispersed remains of forgotten loved ones. No one was being buried here for a long time. The latest years engraved on the stones dated back to 150 years ago. At least the ones which were still readable. Nature and time were determined to wipe away any trace of this haunted place.

Mon-El knew each and every tombstone, all the broken and askew monuments and all the damaged if not completely faded engravings.

He knew this place since he was a little boy. Everyone told him to keep away from it, that it was possessed and cursed. Kids told horror stories of poltergeists and elders had this superstitious, illogical fear of this grounds. There was a myth telling how 186 years ago, an innocent girl had been killed in cold blood and buried there, and now her unrest spirit wandered around and would haunt any who shall pass there aware or unaware to seek vengeance for her brutal and unjustified ending.

Mon-El never believed them. As a dare, he used to always come here and show how irrational and stupid everyone else were. And later as a teenager, every time his parents were giving him a hard time, he would escape here. To his surprise he found this place peaceful and the silence comforted his disturbed thoughts.

Even now as a 28 years old man, he still felt an attraction. There was something about this place that kept pulling him back.

He had come back to visit home after years being away despite his reluctance, in a frosty cold February. With a heavy heart and troubled mind, he had diverted his path home and had chosen the longer way just so he could pass here one more time before arriving at the house and facing his over critical parents. It was always hard with them. Thus he needed this small relaxation beforehand.

The only sound filling the surroundings was the distant screech of the crows overhead. He exhaled and watched his breath floating upwards in shape of a pale cloud as a shiver ran through him. He tugged at his scarf to wrap it tighter around his neck and looked for a particular grave. Even in the low light, his eyes found it effortlessly.

Mon-El walked towards it. The scripting on it was impossible to read beneath a layer of selfish ivy that had chosen the surface to spread its long tendrils. He bent down and tore them aside. He didn't need to do that to read it though. He knew the name written there by heart.

 **Kara Danvers**

 **Beloved Daughter and Sister**

 **1811 – 1829**

"Hey Kara."

He smiled to himself as he greeted the girl behind all the ghost stories in Crimsonwood. Of course it felt a bit ridiculous now after seven years, nevertheless it felt familiar. While everyone scolded him to no end for coming here and the priest even refused to talk to him at some point, Mon-El never saw anything supernatural here. There was no moving being here except him and the crows.

He touched the fractured letters on the grey limestone, his fingers following them to a small marred and faceless sculpture, chiseled on the right corner of the tombstone which had curved edges similar to wings. Undoubtedly it once belonged to a beautiful angel with a bowed head. Kara's guardian angel. What an irony that she would need a guardian angel in her death, while they couldn't protect her when she was alive. Mon-El found it so irritating that people believed in such things. There were no angels watching over innocent. And definitely no ghosts. There were only people.

Mon-El's eyes then laid on a white feather right next to the tombstone and sighed in disbelief.

The soft sound of flapping broke his concentration and he thought to himself that it would be impossible to hear that sound again after seven years.

The white raven was sitting on a big, previously ornate, granite Cross near him, observing him with bright maroon marble eyes just like it always did.

"It's you."

It croaked in a friendly tone, letting Mon-El know that it still remembered him. Mon-El looked with wonder how the moonlight reflected against the pale feathers as if a halo was surrounding this rare creature. In his mind this raven was the keeper of this unwanted place. He never named it. No name felt fitting. Mon-El didn't even know if it were a she or a he. He never saw it with other crows either. Maybe it was an outcast among them. That was probably why he identified with it, because he always felt like an outsider himself. The raven didn't wait much longer and was gone in a blink of an eye.

He raised to his feet and brushed at the dirt covering his knees. It was time to go now. He remembered he would talk nonsense to Kara for hours all the time, but for some reason he didn't feel like talking anymore. Maybe he had finally grown out of it.

He put his hand lightly on the stone one more time.

"It was nice seeing you again Kara. Sleep well."

He walked slowly away, deep in his thoughts.

"…don't go…"

Mon-El turned around immediately, expecting to see someone. Seeing no presence, he concluded that maybe he'd made a mistake, therefore continued walking.

"...Please…"

He squinted around, searching for any movement to locate the whisper as he kept walking. No one ever came here, but could be someone here in trouble?

"Hello?"

His voice had no echo in that unruly space as if something unknown in the air had absorbed it. Hearing no answer, he decided to leave. Maybe the whisper was just a result of his tiredness after a long trip coupled with the wind rustling the dead leaves.

"…Mon-El…"

The hushed feminine murmur was much closer this time. Another shiver that had nothing to do with the coldness, rattled Mon-El's torso. He could swore that he felt something brush against his numb face. He blinked a few times with shortened breaths and quickened his steps.

He didn't slow down until he made it to his childhood home.

That night and the following morning were not exactly enjoyable. He kept the discussions to casual subjects with his parents and avoided their pointed questions about his job as a photographer, future and when would he have a family.

Mon-El head out of house after breakfast to stroll around the town, greet old faces and take photos with his work camera. He wondered if it would look different in the pictures from his eyes. Would it seem less dull?

Nothing had changed from the last time he had been in this small town. Just people looking older. He wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not. The priest gave him a glare on the street like he always did and Mrs. Jefferson the butcher's wife asked him if he had a lady in his life to which Mo-El gave him a dry, forced laugh. Most of his classmates had left the town in search of a better life just like him. Crimsonwood was like a black hole. Nothing ever happened here.

His feet brought him near the cemetery again after a few hours. It was day time this time, however the thick grey clouds and the fog didn't let the sun brighten up the scenery that much. This light was terrible for photography, yet he picked up his camera and started taking pictures. What would it hurt when he had lots of space on his SD card? Besides this place was his very first play ground to practice photography when he developed the interest at 14. He had pictured every corner of this place with his first Polaroid camera. It would be nice to redo it with such a high resolution lens.

The fog wasn't anything unusual in Crimsonwood. Mon-El had been here in the thick of fog before and even he had to admit that it felt very creepy standing amongst the odd shapes of broken graves in the middle of swirling thin cold clouds. It could easily fool you and make you believe that you had seen something supernatural.

Mon-El walked through the entrance. There were no more gates guarding it. Only thing left of the iron gates where the rusty destroyed hinges hidden in the dried wild bushes.

He followed the path he would always went along, through a ravaged path by the wild plants, with his camera ready at hand to take photos from everything that seemed interesting.

He remembered each name on graves as he passed by them without needing to look.

J'onn J'onzz (1749 – 1820)

Winslow Schott

James Olsen (1801 – 1885)

Luthor Family

Clark Kent

Barry Allen

Eliza Danvers and Jeremiah Danvers

Alexandra Danvers (1809 – 1871)

Mon-El stopped and looked at the last ones. Kara's sister and parents, he'd figured from the dates. They had lived much longer than Kara, but in pain he supposed. He wondered for the thousand time if they had any descendants in the town or some other city now. Did they know what had happened to their young ancestor? He had researched their names in the records in the town's only library, but found nothing beside the announcement of the vicious death of a local girl named Kara Danvers and then there was nothing on what had happened to her family afterwards. Maybe they left Crimsonwood. Mon-El had no siblings, but he imagined if something like that ever happened to him, he wouldn't stand living in a place that reminded him so much of his lost one every day.

He sighed and resumed walking again to find Kara's grave nearby. On the other side he also saw his own old family shrine that his ancestors used to be buried. He had seen the names many times. William Gand, Rosalyn Gand, Michael Gand and surprisingly Mon-El Gand. Yes he was named after his great great great great grandfather. A war Hero who had died in 1865 in the civil war.

Mon-El stopped short when he saw something big and black on Kara's tomb. His heart started pounding fast.

And in a moment he realized what it was. A black furry cat. He had never seen the cat here before. The adrenaline in his veins subsided and he finally thought about taking a photo. This would be a cool creepy picture. The cat looked at Mon-El suspiciously with his emerald glowing eyes and actually made him nervous. Whose cat was this?

He took a photo and the cat started swinging his tail in show of irritation and growled lowly at the clicking sound from the camera.

"…Mon….El…"

He almost dropped the camera in his fright. It was the same whisper from the night before and he spun around so fast that almost gave himself a whiplash.

"Who's there?"

Mon-El shout into the whiteness around him, trying to fight his own rising terror. Was it him or suddenly the fog seemed far denser than a while ago? Why was it making him feel claustrophobic? He turned around and the cat was gone. Only a weak outline from Kara's grave was visible now.

Mon-El swallowed with difficulty as his mouth felt very dry and decided to force his body to move and walk back the same way he had walked in.

With a hand reaching outwards like a blind person and panting, he proceeded hastily.

A pale silhouette appeared in front of him out of nowhere and made Mon-El tripping backwards. He hit the ground with his back hard.

"… don't you remember...?"

He was paralyzed as he stared into the endless mist, not believing his eyes.

Looming over him was a woman in white, with long silver hair that was floating freely around her like she was under water and her body looked so unimaginably pale and feeble, as if she was dissolving into steam at the breams.

Mon-El stopped breathing as he watched her ashen hands reached out and stroked against his cheeks lovingly and he gasped when he felt her cold touch. Though he was sure that he had lost his mind, his eyes met her mournful ones that were two blindingly shimmering sapphires filled with agony, paradoxical to her dead, colorless existence. Her parched purple lips were trembling continuously. Was she crying?

His heart clenched with such an immense and inexplicable sorrow that it felt ready to burst at any moment and tuned the scream locked in his throat into a pained moan instead. Mon-El felt tears escaping his own eyes uncontrollably and closed them despite the urge to keep them open and upon the impossible sight in front of him.

Mon-El wasn't sure if he passed out or not, but the croaking sound brought him back to reality. He opened his eyes with difficulty and saw nothing but the clouded sky.

It was the white Raven again. Mon-El saw it sitting on one of the ruined sculptures nearby and moved his limbs slowly to sit upright and stayed like that for a long minute in total confusion before noticing that the fog was gone. Looking around anxiously, he saw nothing like what he saw just before he'd closed his eyes. He reached to feel his face where the fingers had touched. They were wet and as cold as they were in that cold air. He wiped his face on his sleeve and scrambled to stand up and groaned when he felt a searing pain in his ankle. He'd sprained it when he'd fallen down.

Mon-El couldn't shake away the image from his mind. But there was no way. Maybe he'd hit his head and hallucinated the whole thing.

He found his camera a bit scratched where it had hit the ground and cursed under his breath as he picked it up with shaking hands and checked it quickly for further damage and released a sigh of relief when he found out that it still worked correctly. This hadn't been the best idea to come here at all. Mon-El shoved the camera in its case in his bag and fled the cemetery.

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You can also find me on tubmlr =


	2. Chapter 2: Reminiscence

**Chapter Two: Reminiscence**

Mon-El went straight back home with a very preoccupied mind. He locked himself in his old bedroom and decided not to tell anyone anything about his experience. He walked back and forth, thinking what he had to.

Then as if he had his mind set on an idea, he laid down on the floor and reached for the dusty, worn wooden box underneath his bed.

He sat on the edge of his bed and opened the lids on the box to see his photo collections. They were all here. Every photo he'd taken until he bought a digital camera.

Mon-El picked each one out, looking at them and smiling at the ones that intrigued a memory.

Bobby the school bully trapped himself in the volleyball net in fifth grade and made a memorable scene for all the students whom had suffered at his hands and Mon-El had jumped at the opportunity and grasped the moment so it would never be forgotten.

Some random pictures of sky, trees, dogs, people and he skipped past them to get to the pictures from the cemetery. His heart rate spiked a little as he looked at each of them to spot anything unusual even though he knew he wouldn't find anything. If there were any he would've already notice.

And there was nothing.

Mon-El laughed to himself and mocked his own delusional mind. What was he even thinking? He started collecting the photos and threw them back into the box. He slammed the lids shut and knelt down to put the box back where it was. That was when he saw that one of the photos had fallen down by the leg of the bed. In his hurry he must have pushed it off the bed.

He huffed and picked it up.

Mon-El blinked twice when he saw the instant photo. A black cat sitting proudly in front of the entrance of the cemetery.

He scratched the stubble on his jaw and didn't know what to think. It must be a coincidence. He didn't even remember taking the photo. That cat was just cat and nothing more. No, Mon-El didn't believe in any of that crap about ghost animals or how people believed the dead lived inside animal bodies. They were exactly what they were. Bull shit.

Mon-El didn't even bothered to open the box again to put the stupid picture in it and threw it next to the box under the bed and flopped down on his bed.

He covered his face with his hands and let out an exhausted breath.

* * *

 _The constant sound of horse hoofs pounding against the rocky road and creaking of the wooden coach cabin made it hard for him to hear the sweet melodic ring of her giggles. He delighted to make her laugh like that. To see her dazzling eyes twinkling with joy and her cheeks flushing a beautiful shade of crimson and her voice- He could listen to that sound all day. Only it was a pity that this time she wasn't laughing at his brainless jokes, but at the small bundle in her lap with her head bent forward and her long tresses hiding her brilliant features from his sight. The darkness of night time was another obstacle to his vision._

 _"Streaky!"_

 _He chuckled at the jet black fluffy kitten that was laying on her thighs and didn't allow her pale, delicate hand away from himself, latching on it with small, soft paws and biting in jest. His minuscule jade irises glistened despite the lack of any source of light. He had found the miserable petite creature deserted and starved on the side of the road a week before and he almost regretted acquainting him with her, as since then the little devil had devoured all her attention._

 _She rose her head and he finally met her radiating gleeful face. The dim moonlight that had crept inside the cabin momentarily through the dense layers of leaves danced on her eyes. They shone like_

 _"Comets."_

* * *

Mon-El jostled awake with a pounding heart.

"God dammit!"

He shoved away his blanket and dangled his feet from the edge to sit and gather his bearings. When his breathing returned to normal, he got up and went downstairs in search of some water to sooth his dry throat. Mon-El put a hand on his forehead. Maybe he was getting the flue and was running a fever. Maybe it was just a fever dream and nothing more, but found only cold sweat covering his skin.

The house was in complete silence apart from the tick tack of the pendulum clock sitting in the living room. Mon-El glanced at the antique machine, and judging by the reflection from the slender golden hands, it was well passed two in the morning.

He stood in the kitchen with a glass of water in his hands and tried to think of the dream which was vivid behind his eyelids, unlike most nightmares that would escape the mind the harder you tried to remember them.

Mon-El pinched the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes in frustration. He could still see the youthful, graceful and gorgeous woman of his dream as if he had just met her and her bright azure eyes that were just like…

"No, there is no way in he –"

"Mon-El?"

He jumped out of his skin and the sound of glass breaking in front of his feet resonated loudly.

"Father!"

Mon-El tried to calm his again wrecked nerves as he squinted in the darkness and recognized his father entering the kitchen in his blue striped pajamas.

"Son, what are you doing up so late?"

"N...Nothing. Just thirsty."

Mon-El vaguely pointed at the now shattered pieces of his glass on the floor and moved to fetch the broom. His mother would give him a scold tomorrow for sure.

"You didn't join us for dinner, we were worried."

Mon-El tried to come up with an excuse as he gathered the dangerous, sharp pieces to a corner.

"I was just tired after walking so long in the town."

"Did you go to the cemetery again?"

Mon-El turned around and looked at his father with wide eyes.

"I passed through there on my way"

"Found anything different there?"

He scratched the back of his head and swallowed. "No- not really, I was just looking for good locations to take picture."

His father shook his head in amusement and walked out of the kitchen and the hallway.

"Even after all this time, you still try to defy everyone."

"It's not like what you think."

Mon-El followed him upstairs. He was clearly going back to bed.

"Just try to be more careful son. That place… It doesn't hold pleasant memories. I know you don't believe in these things, but just respect the desolation of the dead."

And he closed the door of their bedroom, leaving Mon-El with a shocked expression behind it. His father had always been the one person who'd never complained about him hanging out at the cemetery. That was until then.

Mon-El went back to his room completely awake. There was no use in trying to sleep now, so instead he turned on his lap top and connected his camera to it.

He scrolled through the photos to reach the last one he took. There it was. The cat sitting possessively on the tombstone and looking threateningly into the lens. Mon-El bit at his lower lip and looked for other details in the photo and the other few he had taken from the damned place.

After two wasted hours, coming up with nothing and managing to only tire himself, Mon-El pushed the lap top away and went back to sleep. Hopefully no weird dreams would wake him up this time.

It was almost noon when Mon-El finally got ready to come out of house after sleeping in. Since he had absolutely nothing to do, he'd decided to ask around for the black cat and casually ask in the conversation if it belonged to anyone. He was extra cautious not to mention where he had seen the cat as well, not to give people another reason to keep their distance from him.

As it happened only Mrs. Lance on Queen Street in Crimsonwood had a tabby cat named Mr. Roger. Mon-El gave up on his pointless quest after that and went to the library to look at the newspaper records. He had already done that years ago, but he needed something to kill the time and more than that, it was because he couldn't stop reliving that encounter and his dream no matter what he did.

He saw the same old librarian lady behind the counter just as always. She didn't seem even a day older.

"Is that you Mon-El?"

She beamed at him from behind her tick glasses and Mon-El returned her smile.

"Yes, it's me Mrs. Teschmacher."

"Look at you all handsome and dashing! Must have been good for you wherever you went."

Mon-El chuckled at her compliment and put his bag on the counter.

"Well the world is sure much bigger than Crimsonwood."

"Yet here you are, just like you were as a child, trying to escape from everyone in town."

Mon-El laughed nervously and cleared his throat.

"Yes, well I was just back in town and was bored a bit."

Mrs. Teschmacher gave him a knowing look.

"Glad to know I'm still not on the list of things that bore you out! Go on! The records are exactly where they were. Nothing new."

Mon-El nodded at her gratefully and walked over to the shelves. No soul was around and he thanked the god for that. No pun intended!

Shuffling through the frail yellow papers, he slowed down when he reached the 19th century. Civil war. Names of the town heroes. Son's that died defending their homes without seeing it ever again and ones that came back with a broken body and their hearts darkened by the foul memories from the battle scenes.

Mon-El found the piece about his ancestor's heroic acts and sacrifice in war. He had seen it before, but decided to read it again to see if he'd forgotten something. It told about the return of Mon-El Gand's lifeless body to Crimsonwood in 1865, right before the war ended. His widow Imra Ardeen and his son Michael and two daughters Elinor and Adeline were mentioned to be present at his funeral where they received his medal of Valor for his services.

Mon-El smiled to himself when he remembered that his father actually had that medal in his drawer and it was their family heirloom. Mon-El still remembered how he used to sneak it out when he was little, just to steal glances at the shiny medal that belonged to his namesake, because in his boyish dreams, it sort of belonged to him.

He also had seen his portrait. It previously was hanged in his grandparents' house and later when they passed away, it was boxed securely in the attic.

Mon-El in fact resembled him. Same grey blue eyes, long nose and dark hair. No wonder they'd had named him after the Great Mon-El Gand.

He finished reading the sad report and turned the pages to go more chronically backward. He looked at any article that had a familiar name written in it. There was the wedding announcement of Mon-El Gand and Imra Ardeen on October 10th 1832.

After flipping through unimportant pages on the growth in potato crop or raise in the atumn showers, he found what he was looking for. There it was just like the first time he had read it. The tragic announcement informing the locals of the sudden and atrocious death of eighteen year old Kara Jane Danvers on 14th February 1829. Valentine's Day no less! Poor girl. Mon-El didn't even know if people celebrated the day back then. Not that he was a fan of the pretentious dumb day that made people go crazy, yet it felt really unfortunate and ominous to die on such a day. Did she have a lover who mourned her?

Mon-El stopped the train of his futile thoughts that made unanswerable questions and refocused on the article. The cause of her death was a bullet to the heart in the midst of an ambush on her coach. How cruel.

Huh. How come he had forgotten about that?

There was no other information on her or the Danvers family, apart from some of their distant cousins. No engagement announcements, no birth congratulations. Nothing. As if her family didn't live here after Kara's death.

Mon-El looked further back into early 1800s to see if he could find anything related. There were some news on the consistent conflict between the Danvers and the Grands. That was interesting. He hadn't notice that before. Maybe the sophisticated vocabulary from the 19th century literature had repulsed him, but now he could more or less follow the contents.

Every now and then the reckless, hot headed young men on both sides would do Duels to prove how faithful they were to their families and lose their lives needlessly, believing they had protected their family honor. People back then were weird he gathered. Just as people were now in another way.

It wasn't clear why they hated each other so much or where exactly had it all begun. Was it their disagreement on the border of their farming lands or the suspicious death of some cattle on Danvers grounds that was believed to be the work of the Gands as an act to reduce their products on the winter market in Crimsonwood.

Mon-El stopped when he reached the early 18th century and put them back to their place. He bid Mrs. Teschmacher goodbye and stepped outside after he promised to pay her a visit again before leaving town.

He starched his limbs after sitting so long and looked around. It was completely dark again. He had lost track of time. Mon-El reached for his smart phone to check the time. It was 20:16. His eyes then lingered on the date under big font numbers of the clock for a bit. It was February 14th.

"Shut up!"


	3. Chapter 3: Reoccurrence

**Chapter 3: Reoccurrence**

Mon-El muttered unintelligibly as he quickened his steps. He was starting to believe the universe had pulled a prank on him with all this nonsense. What other explanation was there for it?

He turned left into Church Street and stopped dead when he saw the black cat sitting on a wall and staring at him. It was a wonder that he had even noticed it in the after sunset dimness. Just like the first time, the encounter made his heart race.

"For the love of God! What do you want from me?"

Mon-El marched towards the mute animal with a frown, wanting to put an end to this once and for all. The cat saw his approach and jumped off the wall and strode along the side walk soundlessly. He followed him despite how the logical part of his brain was telling how stupid this was.

He saw the cat entering the church yard and proceeded from between the graves to go and sit in front of the church's back door. Mon-El heard the mysterious cat started meowing softly.

From his place beyond the short fences around the yard, Mon-El watched as the door creaked open merely seconds later, casting a patch of orange light onto the gravel and the Father himself stepped outside in his holy attire with a bowl in his hand.

"Here you go."

He knelt down and put it in front of the hungry cat who was now wiggling his tail in anticipation. Mon-El let out a relieved sigh. So the cat was indeed real and he wasn't seeing things. After looking at the scene for a few more seconds, he started walking off. He'd better get himself home sooner before something else happened that would make him think he was going nuts.

The sound of beeping from his left pocket made him jump a little bit.

 _Damn it Mon-El! Stop being like a scared little girl! It's just your phone!_

It was probably the dead silence of the streets that had caused the sound to be so unexpectedly loud.

Mon-El pulled out his iPhone and as he had predicted, his mother was calling.

"Mon-El! Where are you?"

"Hello to you too mother. I'm on my way. You can start dinner without me."

"I know you don't like spending time with us Mon-El, but at least try harder pretending for the sake of these few days."

Mon-El gritted his teeth and bit back what he wanted to say.

"I don't hate you mother, I was just busy with something and lost track of time. I'll be home in half an hour."

He ended the call without waiting for her response and shoved the phone back into his pocket with greater force than necessary.

The streets were empty and eerily quiet. So different from what he had grown used to in Metropolis, where the city was always buzzing and sleepless. Streets always bright, and the sound of music from his neighbor didn't stop before eleven. But here, it was only past eight and even the coffee shop was closed. Did anyone even lived here? To be frank this loneliness was unnerving to him, so he reached inside his bag to find his earphones to sooth himself with some music and swore when he couldn't find them. Therefore he added to his pace and decided to take the shortcut home instead, to make this unpleasant journey as short as possible.

He walked away from the street and into unconstructed parts, covered with trees and tick bushes. He knew very well from experience, that this way he could reach the main road ten minutes earlier. The main road split Crimsonwood into two parts and their home was on the other side.

Mon-El tried his best not to trip over the rocks and roots. He wasn't getting through as fast as he liked. After a while he stopped one moment to catch his breath.

That was when the blood curdling shriek made his heart stop. And when his brain recovered from the shock of it, he broke into sprint and ran to the direction he had heard the scream. Mon-EL didn't stop even when the sharp ends of the branches scratched at his face and only had his mind set on helping whoever that terrifying call belonged to.

"HELLO?"

Mon-El shouted frantically, hopping to hear something back to help him find her. But no answer came back. He took out his phone and turned on its flash light.

"HELLO? WHO'S THERE?!"

All around him was nothing but black frozen plants. He noticed he had gotten very close to the main road. He stopped on his track and then heard horse whines and heavy hoof sounds from just ahead.

What Mon-El didn't expect to hear next, was the sound of tires screeching against asphalt, followed by a loud crash and he started running towards it without hesitation.

With a pounding heart he walked onto the narrow road and looked along both direction to see if there was any hint of what might have caused that sounds.

He couldn't make out anything in the dark road. Why hadn't they installed some lamps in the main road? It was the twenty first century for crying out loud. He squinted hard and listened intently for anything as he started walking left, where he believed he had heard the crash coming from.

He immediately saw the head lights when he passed the slight turn on the road. The car had gone off and crashed into a tree. Although the vehicle didn't seem that terribly deformed, the lack of movements from the passengers was worrisome.

As soon as he reached the car, he looked through the driver's window. There was only one person in the car. A girl who seemed unconscious, with her head resting on the stirring wheel.

"Hey! Can you hear me?"

Mon-El pulled the door handle when he saw no reaction, but to his dismay it was jammed. He looked with concern at the smoke rising from the busted front of the car. He also noticed that no air bags had activated. Judging by the car though, he doubted that it even had any. To him it looked like a 90s model BMW.

He put all his weight on the door and at his third try with a kick, the door pilled off and clanged loudly against the ground.

That apparently was enough to wake the driver and Mon-El cheered inwardly.

"Ahhhh…"

The girl turned her head slowly with her eyes fluttering from behind her broken, askew glasses and moaned. She was lucky that her glasses hadn't shattered enough to injure her eyes.

"Hey I got you. You're gonna be ok."

Mon-El reached for the seatbelts and freed her from her prone position. He carried her away from the car and laid her down cautiously. He then took his jacket off and rolled to make a makeshift pillow and put it under her limp head and softly rubbed her shoulders when he saw how they were shivering.

"Hey, hey, are you in pain? Can you tell me your name?"

Instead of an answer he only received undecipherable mumbles.

"The bird…I… drive…. Horses…"

Mon-El removed her useless glasses and bit his lip when he noticed the slightly bleeding gash on her forehead. She clearly had hit her head. He racked through his bag to find his pack of clean paper tissues he always kept in his bag and used a few to stop the bleeding.

He had no idea what he could do for her anymore so he reached for his phone to call 911.

"Damn it!"

There was no service. That was just brilliant. He even moved a few meters away and tried, but there was absolutely no bars and Mon-El couldn't bring himself to leave the girl hurt like that in the middle of road to get far in order to find service.

He returned back to her side and became even more worried when he saw she wasn't talking or shaking anymore.

"Hey, stay with me!"

Nothing. He checked her pulse and thanked the God that she was still alive.

He pondered on his options for a few seconds. Maybe he could wait until another car passed and ask them to stop and help them, but there was no one around and the more he waited the lower her chances of survival became. Mon-El then knew what he had to do.

He gently replaced his hand with his jacket under her neck and pulled his jacket away to instead cover her upper body against the bitter cold.

He put his other arm under her jeans cladded legs and pulled her up in his arms bridal mode. The hospital was less than a mile away.

The girl kept drifting in and out of consciousness and every time, Mon-El tried to assure her that they were almost there and she would be ok. He didn't stop or slowed down even when the coldness and exertion were turning his muscles into excruciating stones.

He was almost close to losing all his strength when he finally saw the small hospital building in front of him and moved with renewed energy.

"I need help here!"

Mon-El called for the paramedics waiting in the emergency room and the two of them jumped at his sight and hurried to get a gurney. Right after he put her now completely unmoving body on the white sheets, he bent down and heaved while flexing and massaging his numb arms.

After that he had to explain to some nurses what had happened and then he had to tell his parents and in the end, he sat in the hallway, anxious to know if the girl was going to be ok before leaving the hospital. One of the nurses came up to him shortly with a form in her hand.

"Hi, can you please fill these forms?"

Mon-El tiredly looked at the enquiries on the paper.

"I'm sorry, as I told the others, I just found her in a car crash on the main –"

"Oh my god! It's you Mon-El!"

Mon-El looked at the excited blond girl in her white coat dumbfounded.

"It's me you silly! Eve!"

Mon-El stared at her blushing and then remembered her. Eve Teschmacher, Mrs. Teschmacher's daughter, aka his high school graduation prom date.

"Oh, hey Eve. Sorry I didn't recognize you."

"Look at you! You're totally different from Mon-El the shy, awkward cemetery boy with that serious look on your face! Not to mention the beard!"

"Thanks I guess. You're mother said something similar." Mon-El scratched the back of his head and frowned when his arms ached from the strain they had gone under.

"Oh you already went to see her?!"

"Yeah, I was looking for something in the library this afternoon and I saw her there."

"It's been what, six years?"

"Seven actually."

"Are you still into photos? Gosh! I still remember you ruined Bobby Smithson's reputation with that photo in the school journal!"

"Yeah, good old times. And yes I'm actually a photographer now."

Eve nodded at him with fondness and Mon-El noticed the engagement ring on her left hand. He thought about asking her but after all the things that had happened, he was desperate to change the subject before she tried to ask him more details about his life. Maybe another time.

"So… the forms."

Fortunately the mention of the form brought Eve back to her actual job.

"Oh yes, so you were saying what happened."

"I was walking home when…" Mon-El paused for a second and thought how to say what had really happened. Did he had to tell them about the scream too? "… I heard noises and then I heard the crash so I went to check and saw the car smashed into a tree. She must have lost control of the car. I tried to call 911, but there was no bar and I didn't want to leave her alone so…"

Mon-El trailed off. "But is she gonna be ok?"

Eve nodded. "Yes, she seems to only have a mild concussion and a suspected broken rib. They sent her into Radiography to check for that and any internal bleeding."

Mon-El let out a sigh of relief. At least all the trouble of carrying her there payed off.

"So do you have anything on her that we can use and find out her identity?"

Mon-El shook his head. "No I'm sorry, but maybe she has her driving license in the car."

"That could really help if you could find it for us."

Great, now he had to walk all the way back there and grab her belongings. Not that he wanted to refuse, but he was also really tired.

"Yeah sure I can do that."

Eve gave him a flashing smile. "Thanks for that!"

He nodded and turned around to walk down the hallway when he ran into someone.

"Mon-El Gand?"

Mon-El raised his head and recognized Hank Henshaw, Crimsonwood's Sheriff.

"Hi Sheriff."

Sheriff Henshaw shook Mon-El's out stretched hand firmly.

"Long time no see son."

"Yes, it's been quite some time. Just came back for a visit."

"I hope you enjoy your time."

Mon-El shrugged and ran out of words to continue the conversation. There was an awkward moment of silence, before Eve showed up again.

"Sheriff thanks for coming!"

"Of course, so do we know what happened to this woman?"

"Actually, Mon-El was the one who brought her in."

Hank Henshaw turned to Mon-El with a raised brow.

"Is that so?"

Mon-El kept himself from rolling his eyes and started telling what had happened. For some reason he kept it to himself about the scream and the sound of horse whines. Something about that didn't add up to all that had happened and he didn't think mentioning that would help. If anything, it would have confused others instead.

After he finished with his story, the Sheriff asked him to help finding the scene of the accident and offered to drive him there. This way he could also find the girls ID card. Well at least he didn't have to walk all the way back there.

The car ride was quiet. Sheriff Henshaw was actually one of the few people in town who didn't like chit chatting like others did, and Mon-El felt mostly comfortable around him. He was sure that he wouldn't ask questions or try to figure all the details about his personal life.

"There, right after this turn." Mon-El pointed at the left side of the road and sure enough the Sheriff's head lights projected on the damaged blue BMW. Henshaw parked his car on the opposite side of the road and they both got off and went to check the car.

"So you sure there wasn't any other passengers?"

"Yes, I looked, but there was only the girl."

"And you didn't see anyone around?"

"No, I heard the crash and I ran here and opened the door to see if she was ok when I saw she wasn't moving."

Mon-El answered patiently as he knew Henshaw was only doing his job and stayed back watching as the stoic dark skinned man looked around, checked the braking lines on the road with his flash light and in the end he went inside the car and came out with a leather hand bag.

"Here, her ID must be in this."

He handed it Mon-El and went to check if there where anything else in the car. Mon-El was actually surprised and thought the Sheriff would want to handle everything on his own, but didn't ask and only opened the purse and scrambled through some make up supplies and other stuff to find her wallet. He took it out and looked inside and finally saw her ID.

He walked towards Sheriff's car to use the headlights to read her name.

 **Kara Danvers**


	4. Chapter 4: Encounter

**Chapter 4: Encounter**

If it weren't for the Sheriff, Mon-El wasn't entirely sure if he could have gotten himself back home that night alone. Fortunately he didn't even noticed how shocked and far away he seemed.

Mon-El climbed the few stairs to their front door and knocked.

"Mon-El! What happened?!"

He registered very vaguely as his mother pulled him into and embrace and felt himself being shocked even more that night. What was happening? Dead people coming back and his mother showing affection to him? Maybe the end of times was coming?

Mon-El shook out of his haze and stepped inside their house after his mother and tried to use his voice after staying quiet for some time.

"Umm... Nothing too serious. It was just a young woman in a car accident. I had to help her and take her to the hospital."

Her mother gasped. "Is she ok?"

Mon-El nodded in reassurance. "Yes, they said she's not in a terrible shape."

His father joined them from the living room with a slightly concerned expression.

"Who was she?"

Mon-El felt his heart skip a beat.

"I…I don't know. I don't think she's from around here."

He didn't even know why he lied about that. For some reason even he himself didn't believe that he had read the name right. He rubbed his brow in total weariness and his eyes fell on the clock in living room. It was almost midnight.

"Sorry I kept you awake this late. I go to bed."

"Aren't you hungry dear?" Mon-El heard his mother asking softly and froze on the stairs.

Why had they become so worried over something like this? It was as if it was he had been the one in the car crash. He guessed maybe it was just a parent thing.

"Thanks, but I feel really tired."

He gave his mother a genuine smile and left them to get himself to the safety of his room.

Despite his completely depleted and exhausted body, Mon-El couldn't sleep that night. He tossed and turned and even tried to read some book, but his mind never slowed down and he watched the sun rise from his place sitting by the window with bags under his eyes.

This all shouldn't even bother him. So what if the girl had the same name as another person who died almost two hundred years ago. It wasn't like that never happened. Huh. He had the same name as a dead person, period!

Mon-El leaned his head to the wooden window frame and sighed against the slight dizziness that was a symptom of sleep deprivation. What was he supposed to do then? Did he had to go check on her? He had to admit the curiosity was eating his insides, but at the same time there was this unfounded terror that forbade him, that told him if he go along with this whim, things would happen that there would be no turning back from. All sort of possibilities swirled around his numb brain.

* * *

 _His eyes searched through the ballroom filled with colorful men and women in coats and gowns. The harmonics played by the violins guided them all to advance in concordant and graceful manner. Hands touching and feet shifting in accordance. Eventually his eyes caught the glint from her bright, golden hair constricted into neat coils behind her head._

 _He climbed down the staircase with his eyes fixed upon her sight and neglecting all else. The tunes sounded far and discreet to his consciousness. He bid his time impatiently until the dance was finalized and proceeded towards her, merely to stop when her eyes found him and then all he registered was the rouge glow of her cheeks while she dismissed the Lad she was dancing with, prior to feeling her feather like brush on his hand and if it weren't for her vigilance to the surrounding, he wouldn't have been successful to comprehend the occurrence of the sequent dance._

 _His hands caressed over the white silk clothing the curve on her waist to rest on her back, while his other trembling hand was guided to lace through her fingers. He wasn't entirely aware as he twirled with her and the slight force on his shoulder, by her gracious touch lead him to follow the rhythm._

 _He was held in the cerulean heaven that were her eyes. Blessed by utter peace and endless love. No words shall ever be worthy to be allowed to describe what she did to his miserable heart._

 _They swirled around one more time and he caught a glimpse of their reflection in the tall mirror with gilded frame. Their bodies huddled together, black and white. His eyes met his own as she leaned her hear on his chest and whispered._

 _"I love you."_

* * *

Mon-El felt his body colliding with something hard and his eyes snapped open in shock, only to find himself sprawled on the floor, looking at the ceiling. He must have slipped down after falling asleep.

Just as the last time, the dream had been sensational and enrapturing. But unlike last time it had been much brighter and detailed.

Mon-El struggled to get to collect his limbs with short breaths and quivering muscles. To his disbelief, he felt tears on his face again. What was happening to him? Why did he felt like his heart has been ripped out of his chest as if he had lost someone so dear?

He touched the waxed timber flooring with his forehead and tried to take some deep breaths and calm his turbulent emotions.

Mon-El fidgeted with the bouquet of flowers in his hand, as he contemplated on what he was about to do. There was nothing weird about bringing flowers for someone you just helped saving, right?

After what felt like an hour, he made up his mind and pushed the hospital doors open. The big clock on the wall behind the reception showed 10:32. Mon-El walked towards the nurse sitting behind the counter, with her head down.

"Hello?"

"Mon-El!" It was Eve again.

"Oh, hey Eve."

Her eyes sparkled as she spotted the flowers in his grasp and smirked at him. "You're here to visit your damsel in distress, aren't ya?"

"What? She's not mine – my damsel in distress, but yeah I came to see how she's doing."

Mon-El already regretted coming there. Eve waved her hand in amusement, completely enjoying flustering him. Just like she used to do when they were in high school.

"Relax Romeo! She's fine, but is still asleep. Do you want to see her?"

"Yeah, I guess I just drop these flowers for her." He shrugged nonchalantly.

Eve nodded and came around the counter to guide him there.

"So did you get her belongings from Sheriff Henshaw last night?" Mon-El asked as they were walking.

"Yes! Thanks for helping out."

"Could you find any of her contacts?"

"No, her phone is password protected. We're just waiting for her to wake up first. She doesn't seem to be in any immediate danger anymore. Although with the meds they gave her, we'll have to wait till night."

Mon-El hummed in response and Eve stopped in front of room 104 and opened the white door to reveal the simple boring room with two beds. Only one was occupied by her.

Eve walked towards her resting form under the bright blue blanket to check her vitals briefly and Mon-El used this distraction to stare at her. She seemed far less pale than the previous night. Apart from a wide rectangular tensoplast covering her forehead, she seemed to be completely fine.

"Kara Danvers"

At Eve's voice, Mon-El felt his heart thumping faster. It felt very strange to hear someone else saying that name out loud. He didn't say anything as Eve continued reading her file.

"Grade 1 concussion and one fractured rib." She tilted her head and looked at the paper with a furrowed brow and bit her lip, which made Mon-El worried.

"What is it?"

"Oh, nothing. It's just her name. It sounds really familiar, like I've heard it before. Do you remember anyone by the name Kara Danvers in Crimsonwood?"

Mon-El gulped and felt bids of sweat rolling down his temple. He shook his head a bit too many times.

"No, I think it's one of those names."

"Hmm, maybe. But I swear I've heard the name before."

Mon-El was desperate to change the subject.

"So, ehm, Eve, Sorry I didn't notice last night. Congrats. Who's the lucky guy?"

As he had expected, Eve put the file away and gave him a mega Watt grin and brought out her left hand to show off her shining ring.

"Oh gosh thank you! It's Winn! He asked me the question just two weeks ago when we were on a vacation for our anniversary!"

"Oh my God! Winn?! You mean, my best friend from school, Winn?!"

"Yes!" She squealed in excitement.

"I'm so happy for you." Mon-El beamed at her. He was truly happy for them.

"Thank you!"

They fell into a momentarily happy silence before another nurse walked in the room in hurry.

"Eve? We need you with Mr. Cooper."

Eve nodded affirmatively and turned serious. "I'll be right there."

She walked towards the door, but suddenly remembered Mon-El and was about to say something but he beat her to it.

"Go, I just put the flowers by her and leave."

"Ok, so I guess I see you again soon?"

"Yes, I'd like to see Winn too."

"Ok, bye."

"Bye."

Mon-El sighed when he found himself completely alone with her in the room. He put the flowers on the small table next to her bed, close to the window and although it was pointless to stay any longer than that when she was obviously not going to wake anytime soon, he sat on the chair close to the bed and observed her sleeping form for a few minutes.

In the light of day he could see that she had long blond hair. He remembered vaguely that last night it was tied into a pony tail, but now it was loose and spread on the pillow.

The ebbs and flows of her breathing was the only sound filling the moment and assured him that she was alive and not just another dream or whatever he was seeing these past few days.

Mon-El replayed all that happened since the cemetery in his head to find a meaning. He by no means believed in dead trying to speak to the living, but what if… No, he couldn't possibly be thinking that the Kara Danvers' ghost had suddenly decided to reach out to him! Even if it were true, how could he be sure that the ghost in cemetery and the girl in his dreams were in fact Kara Danvers? He had never even seen a photo of her. Come to think of it, back then there were no photos, just painting and sketches. He wished he could somehow find something on her just to be sure. And beside all that, where did this living breathing Kara Danvers came into the picture?

"Ughhhh!"

Mon-El jumped off his seat as he saw the girl – Kara – was stirring and awake!

"Wh… Where am I?"

Kara's voice was so small and afraid. No, he couldn't just leave. Mon-El walked over to her bed and tried to calm her.

"Hey it's ok. You're in the Crimsonwood general hospital. You were in an accident last night. But you're ok now."

Mon-El came close to stand over her. He saw she winced a little as her moves had aggravated her bruised ribs and then their eyes met. Hers wide, disoriented and questioning.

The cerulean heaven that were her eyes…

"An accident?!"

Mon-El finally found the words to speak. "Y- Yes. You hit a tree on the main road."

"Oh God! My car!"

Mon-El was still in shock and realized a bit late that Kara was trying to get out of bed, but managed to stop her by putting his hand on her frantic arm that was pushing away her blanket.

"No, no. You shouldn't be on your feet right now. Don't worry about your car. It's taken care of."

He wasn't completely sure about that, but he said it anyway to calm her down, which seemed to have worked more or less as she gave up and leaned back into a sitting position. Mon-El didn't lose her pained expression and stiff posture.

"You must be in pain. I should call a nurse." Mon-El pushed the button near the bed.

"Please… I- I need my phone. A– and ... my things and…"

Mon-El turned his head to her and he felt his heart clench at how frightened she still seemed sitting in that blue hospital gown all alone and staring him with those eyes. He felt responsible to ease her mind as much as he could.

"Don't worry. Look, your stuff is all here." Mon-El pointed at her purse and a duffel bag under the window, which he remembered from the night before. "The sheriff and I found your car and he brought your bags all here. The nurse has your phone to try contacting someone for you, but since it needed password, she couldn't do much."

Mon-El saw the tension lifting a bit from her shoulders.

"Thank you."

Mon-El nodded softly and for a few seconds the two of them only stared at each other speechless. A nurse walked inside then and told him visitors are not supposed to be around this time of day and made Mon-El leave. Guess Eve had actually broke some rules to sneak him in there. He gave Kara one last look which she returned with her own baffled eyes before walking out.

Mon-El stood in the sidewalk outside the small hospital. There was so much he wanted to ask Kara, but it wasn't the right time. She was still too shocked. He was still deep in thought and when he looked around, he saw he was standing in front of the police office.

Mon-El found the kind and experienced officer in his office, reading some files and knocked softly on his door.

"Come in."

"Hi Sheriff, it's me again."

"Mon-El, what can I do for you, son?"

"Well I was wondering what happened to the car?"

Mon-El knew it wasn't the best idea to interfere with the matters anymore, else people would grow suspicious why he was so interested, but he thought he could help Kara somehow when she clearly had no one around and take care of her car for her. Screw everyone else.

Hank Henshaw looked at him for a few seconds with a raised brow, as if he was deeming him worthy to share the information with.

"I called to use his truck this morning and we moved it to precinct's garage. Why you ask?"

Mon-El shifted on his feet a little before answering.

"Well, it's just, I was just at the hospital and she woke up and she was really worried about her car."

The Sheriff smiled at him. "Oh so you were thinking to take it to repair?"

"Yes, I was thinking it would be better if I could help a bit. It's not like I have anything else to do around here, while you have all your hands full. "

Mon-El laughed nervously as he pointed to the few files on Sheriff's desk. To be frank, no one seemed to be busy with work in this small town and Mon-El prayed his sarcastic reasoning could convince the Sheriff to let him do something.

Beside his own desire to help this woman as an act of sympathy, he also thought maybe this way he could find more chances to talk to her.

"That's not a bad idea."

The Sheriff reached into his drawer and tossed something to Mon-El, who caught it in quick reflex. It was a key chain.

"Mr. Vincent is right down the street. You remember?"

Mon-El easily recalled the Mechanic since his childhood.

"Yes, of course. So when can he come around to pick up the car?"

"Any time before four. You can ask my assistant Kelly to give you access to the garage."

"Thanks Sheriff."

Sheriff Henshaw nodded with a smile.

Mon-El walked outside with the car keys still in his hand. She had something hung from her key chain. He looked at the metallic shape closely.

It was black cat.


	5. Chapter 5: Reconnection

**Chapter 5: Reconnection**

Dark clouds were looming over Crimsonwood and strong wind was blowing through. A telltale sign of the coming storm.

It was almost completely dark again when Mon-El managed to get himself back home after he took Kara Danver's car to Mr. Vincent's garage and stayed for a coffee and talked with him about his years away from Crimsonwood.

The car was in a far worse shape than he had hopped. Its gearbox was in a wreck and the whole front needed new parts. Not to mention the driver's seat door, which Mon-El had ripped off, had to be replaced. He had to go check on the repairing progress in a few days and of course there was a payment issue that the car's owner needed to be informed of. Mon-El felt sorry for her as he looked at the fat receipt for a new gearbox.

"So, how was your day?"

Mon-El was dragged out of his thoughts at dinner table with his mother's question. He chewed down the piece of food in his mouth before answering.

"Not bad. I tried to help and got that girl's car to Mr. Vincent."

"Oh, how nice of you. Did you also went to check on her? Is she feeling better? Did you get her name? I'm sure Eve can tell you about her since she's a nurse there now. Oh and by the way did you know Eve and Winn are engaged!? It all happened after …"

Mon-El lost her after that. It wasn't easy to stop her mother when she went full force on gossiping. He supposed since nothing interesting ever happened in a small town like this, people would get so intrigued by something as simple as a random car crash.

Random? Nothing about all these sounded random!

"… And Mrs. Schott is planning to invite everyone in June for the wedding…"

"So Winn is still around?" Mon-El looked at his father, who was sitting across from him.

He nodded. "After his father passed away in 2015 he had to take over his shop, so he didn't leave as he had planned to."

"Oh no, Mr. Schott passed away?" Mon-El felt his stomach drop. He couldn't imagine what his best friend must have gone through. Why hadn't he even call Mon-El?

"He had a heart attack. He was in hospital for a few weeks, but they couldn't save him."

"That's how he met Eve!" His mother added with a slight smirk.

"So Winn is running the shop now?" Mon-El asked with a raised brow.

"Yes, and his doing a fine job if you ask me. If it weren't for him, I would have thrown away this new crazy digital satellite device, cause I had no idea how to work with it!" His father laughed out loud and his eyes narrowed into wrinkled slits.

"Do you remember he single handedly solved the town's blackout problem in August?" His mother added from the other side, with an amused expression.

So Winn had made himself quiet a reputation since Mon-El had left. Who would have thought, the shy little nerd who used to be bullied at school, would turn out to be so popular around town? He fondly remembered the first time he met Winn in high school.

It all happened when Mon-El noticed some senior jerks were trying to trap Winn into his own locker, because he was the smallest first grader in school and Mon-El stopped them. That's how their friendship started.

Mon-El was a Gand, so no one even dared touching him and Winn by his side was safest. No one after that ever picked on him seriously and they became best friends, until college when Mon-El went to Metropolis and they kind of flew apart gradually.

"I should go see him tomorrow. I haven't heard from him for a long time."

Both his parents nodded in agreement.

After helping with the dishes, Mon-El finally found some time to gather his thoughts since morning. He stared at the ceiling, listening to the wind howling, while lying down on his bed and tried to recall his dream. It was very faint now. He remembered some details, like two gorgeous blue eyes and the room filled with people, but when he forced himself to remember what he was doing or who she was, nothing came to mind. He thought about the Kara Danvers in hospital and her eyes. Were they the same? He huffed in irritation and changed into a sitting position. This was getting ridiculous. Kara Danvers – the living one – had blue eyes and that was it. Anyone with blue eyes could be mistaken with the woman from his feverish dream.

A part of him knew very well he was only trying and failing to convince himself that these weren't connected.

Mon-El scratched at his over grown stubble and decided it was about time to trim them, so he went to the bathroom with his shaving kit.

He looked blankly at his tired face in the mirror as he examined his beard. Mon-El put some shaving cream on the unwanted areas, before bringing up the razor to his cheek and started removing the hair thoughtlessly like he had done thousands of times since he had learned how to shave. The familiar brush of the sharp metal against his skin was almost soothing and kept his mind off the craziness ravaging his mind. Mon-El kept cleaning the razor and continued with a new part, until he got to his neck. Mon-El tipped his head up to get a better view in the mirror. He put the acute and thin edge under his jaw, next to his Adam's apple and that was when his eyes flickered up to meet his own in the reflection.

A flood of images from his dream resurfaced. Two bodies holding each other closely through a golden framed window, and the bearded man with curly dark hair in a black buttoned up coat was staring at him, holding a blond women whose face wasn't visible. Mon-El was stunned when he recognized that man. He knew exactly whose face that was and it was impossible. Mon-El gasped and the man's mouth opened simultaneously, their stormy blue eyes – his eyes – grew wide in astonishment as he realized he was in fact looking at a mirror and the eyes belonged to himself

The loud crash shook the whole house and Mon-El swore loudly as the blade cut a bit deeper than it should at the slip of his hand. He dropped the bloody razor immediately and bit his lip against the sharp sting against his skin. The droplets of blood falling into the white basin startled him, but he quickly took his eyes away from it to grab a towel and ran out of the bathroom to see what caused the commotion in the house.

"What happened?!"

Mon-El stopped when he reached his bedroom where both his parents were standing in shock.

"It was the old willow. The wind must have been too strong."

Mon-El walked into his room as he was listening to his father and saw in astonishment how the long tree branches had evaded to half the room as the 300 year old tree had fallen onto the house, breaking his window and its frame into pieces. There was glass everywhere and his bed covers was torn at some places. The temperature had dropped significantly since there was no barrier between the cold outside and the room anymore. His eyes turned towards his most important possessions and thanked any existing god above, that his desk with his camera and laptop on it was still intact.

"Thank god you weren't in your room when this happened." His father remarked in a relieved tone.

"Oh my God! Mon-El you're neck!" He heard his mother gasp.

"Oh shoot, it's nothing. Just a scratch. I got jumped when I was shaving." Mon-El waved off their worried expression and pushed the towel harder on the cut.

As it turned out, the cut on his neck wasn't too deep and he managed to convince his mother that it didn't a stitch and there was no need to go into emergency room. The last thing he needed was to get a bed next to Kara Danvers!

Since his room was in the state of ruins and his bed was under heavy tree wines, Mon-El had to sleep in the guest room instead. He hated the orange wallpapers in that room as long as he could remember, but there was no other option. Well there was the couch downstairs, but it was too stiff for his liking. So the guest room it was.

Mon-El slipped under the cold blankets and stirred to his other side so his eyes wouldn't fall on the ugly painting of his great aunt, hanging right in front of him on the opposite wall. Why would his mother enjoy this antiques, never ceased to amaze him. He remember how much he argued with her when she insisted to Mon-El on hanging one of those paintings on his bedroom wall.

Fortunately the sleep came very easily to him this time. He sure was drained after the past eventful nights.

* * *

 _"Do you ever wonder if there are people on other planets?"_

 _Her hushed excited words caresses his left ear as his eyes swam across the ocean of blinking stars overhead. Despite the lack of vision, her presence next to him sufficed to secure the smile on his features, as they were laid on the grass. Not a moment later he felt her glove covered fingers intertwined themselves with his own naked ones and he sighed in contentment._

 _"I reckon they would find our futile struggles bemusing, if they were to give themselves the trouble of inspecting us."_

 _Her melodic giggles felt ticklish and his heart leaped in joy as she brought her head close to him and connected her unfathomably warm lips onto his cheek for long seconds. Her scent filled his lungs. Sweet Jasmin blossoms._

 _He closed his eyes and comprehended for the first time what eternity meant._

 _"Do you find us futile?"_

 _He turned his head towards her – the unreachable twinkling diamonds long forgotten – and brought his hand to brush away the soft tresses that hindered his view to her splendid and intelligent eyes and stroked her face with his thumb so gently as if she were made of glass._

 _"Never."_

 _He murmured as he leaned in to grasp her burning lips with his._

* * *

After spending half the morning checking the damage to the house, Mon-El's father gave him a list and his red Chevy truck keys and sent him to the carpenter's shop to buy some supplies, in order to repair his bedroom window. Mon-El loaded the wooden bars and boards with some paint cans into the truck and headed for his next destination, The Halley's Electronics.

Mon-El walked inside and looked around the familiar shop, where he had spent so many days in, hanging with his best friend.

All around were out of date Tvs, radios and clocks. Surprisingly though, he spotted a section occupied by some brand new flat screen Tvs, smart phones and other modern gadgets. Mon-El took his eyes away from this new addition and noticed the man in flannel behind the counter, consumed in his phone.

"Is it still the 21st century or am I in the wrong time?"

The man snapped his head up at Mon-El's sarcastic comment and gazed at him in confusion. The bewilderment was soon replaced by a deep frown.

"Oh, I'm sorry we just ran out of time machines."

The two started a staring contest until suddenly they both burst into a fit of laughter.

"What? Did you forget something here?" Winn came out from behind the counter with a grin and pulled him into a bear hug.

"Yeah I forgot my best friend!" Mon-El patted him on the back.

"You are insufferable as always!" Winn pushed at his shoulder in joke.

"And you're still short for a Stormtrooper!"

They started laughing again until they ran out breath.

"Congrats man!"

"Thanks! Eve mentioned his high school crush is back in town." Winn crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head.

"Haha. Says the man with the girl." Mon-El mocked Winn's fake worry by making a face, but he continued with his scolding.

"… With another girl in his arms! Buddy you need to come down! You made your point!"

"It's not my fault that girl hit her car to a tree when I was around."

Winn eyed him with narrowed eyes. "Fine, you win." And threw his hands in the air in defeat.

That was when something black came running up towards them and almost climbed up Mon-El's jeans.

"Oh, hey. Wha-?"

Was it that darn cat?

"Oh no Ben! Stop, his a friend!" Winn rushed to pick the small body with a wiggling tail and a strong woofing sound insured Mon-El that it was a puppy and not a black cat.

"Ben? Really?" Mon-El scuffed at Winn with a raised brow.

"What?! Can't a man enjoy the new Star Wars sequel?"

The two old pals spent the next four hours catching up on each other. Mon-El apologized to Winn for not being around when he needed him most after the death of his father and he kindly forgave him, claiming him getting closer to Eve during the difficult time turned out to be the best thing that had happened to him.

After they were finished with their serious talk, they started talking about some random stuff until Winn cleared his throat.

"So, ehm, Mon-El, I don't know if you already know, but…" He bit his lip and a weird look appeared on his face.

"What is it Winn?"

Winn glanced at him like he was judging if he should tell him or not.

"I know it sounds stupid and so –"

"Just tell me."

He stopped fidgeting. "Ok, so you know that girl you saved two nights ago. She – I mean her name is Kara Danvers!"

Winn said her name in a low whisper like he was afraid someone would hear him and stared at Mon-El with eyes as wide as saucers.

Mon-El sighed. "So you noticed."

"Dude! How could I not!?"

"So what do you think this means?" Mon-El asked as coolly, though his heart was racing again. Should he tell Winn about the things that had been happening to him?

"I- I honestly don't know. Maybe it's just a coincidence!"

"What else could it be!? Do you really think she's a ghost? Trust me. I carried her for a mile, she's heavy!"

"But –"Winn ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

"If this is your reaction to her name, God forbid any of the elders in town even come close to hear about her or I'm afraid we'll have to attend a ritual where they burn her alive!"

The sudden strong beats of music coming from Winn's phone, made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on their ends. It didn't take him two seconds to recognize the tone as the Darth Vader imperial March.

Winn jumped to pick up his phone and Mon-El tried to calm his again irregular heartbeats.

"Okay I tell him." Winn finished with his call while making eye contact with Mon-El.

"So that was Eve, she was looking for you actually. She said – "He lowered his voice significantly, "-Kara-" to Which Mon-El rolled his eyes dramatically and raised his voice back to normal, "- Is about to be released from the hospital and she's been asking to see you!"

"Okay, I go to the hospital right now." Mon-El got up from his chair to put on his coat.

"Are you sure about this!?" Winn gave him a concerned look.

"Yes Winn, I'm sure! Stop being so superstitious!"

"If you say so." Winn shrugged. Yet the worry remained fixed on his face and Mon-El couldn't help but feel a flicker of doubt in his mind too.

* * *

Mon-El fiddled with the black cat key chain in his pocket as he walked to room 104 where he found Kara Danvers sitting on her bed this time in regular clothes. Her head bent down, looking at her feet like she was lost in her mind.

"Hello?" Mon-El knocked on the door frame.

"Oh Hi!" She raised her head immediately with a surprised voice while she squinted at him. "Sorry I don't have my glasses, I must have lost them."

"They were broken. I'm sorry, I must have left them on the road." Mon-El came closer to her so she could see him better and reached into his pocket. "But actually I – I mean the Mechanic found these in the glove compartment."

Mon-El handed her a rectangular eyeglass case and heard her gasp in excitement.

"Oh my gosh! Thank you so much!" She almost squealed as she rushed to open the case and put on her extra pair of glasses.

When she stared at him from behind the lenses and blinked a few times without saying anything, Mon-El realized that perhaps this was the first time she was seeing him clearly. He felt her gaze was boring holes in him, not in a bad way though.

"Are you Mon-El Gand?"

"Yes, that's me." Mon-El nodded with a smile.

He saw her cheeks blushing and it was so adorable.

"One of the nurses told me that you saved my life by carrying me all the way here! Is that true?" There was a slight tremor in her voice and her blue eyes grew wide in amazement.

 _Really Eve?_

Mon-El chuckled nervously as he scratched the back of his neck.

"Well yeah, but –"

"And they said you've taken my car to repair. I- I don't know what to say!" Her eyes turned affectionate to the point that Mon-El felt himself getting flustered as well. He'd forgot how news traveled fast around Crimsonwood.

"It's ok, you don't have to say anything."

"How can I ever thank you? I owe you my life!"

"You don't owe me anything."

She didn't had the chance to deny him as one of the nurses came inside to get her signature on a paper and told her that she was clear to leave the hospital then.

After the nurse left, there was this heavy silence between them again, in while they only regarded the other in curiosity, until Mon-El decided to fill it with words again.

"So I see you're ok to leave. Is there any way I can help? Do you have someone or a place to stay?"

Kara beamed at him sweetly, to which Mon-El felt his heart flutter. "Oh that's nice of you, but you already did more than enough."

"No, please. It's no trouble."

Kara shook his head. "You don't have to worry about me anymore. I actually had booked the hotel last week. I can get a taxi and –"

"I can drive you there then!" Mon-El hurriedly suggested, surprised that she actually have had plans to stay in Crimsonwood and wasn't just passing through the town.

Kara opened her mouth to reject, but Mon-El jumped to get one of her heavy bags.

"See, I'm here! There's no need to call for taxi, I can be your ride."

Mon-El didn't even know where this courage came from. He wasn't the kind of guy who convinced girls to ride in his car. That is if he had a car of his own, which he didn't, because in an overcrowded city like metropolis, having a car only meant being stuck in traffic. Besides, he was trying to save more so he could finally buy a house. So car was not a priority in his life yet.

"Okay." Mon-El smirked when Kara sighed in reconcilement.

He watched her getting to her feet a bit slower than it was considered normal with a grimace, due to her still painful ribs, he gathered and the two of them left the room in a slow pace.

It felt unreal.

"Bye Kara! Bye Mon-El!" Eve waved at them with a playful grin on her face.

"Bye Eve." Mon-El nodded at her and groaned inwardly when he predicted that by tomorrow half the town would hear about this.

After he helped Kara into the truck, Mon-El jumped behind the wheels and made a u turn so they could go in the right direction to Crimsonwood's only hotel.

"So you grew up here?" Kara's question broke through a million conversation openers and other thoughts Mon-El was thinking of, to somehow start a talk with her, and it surprised him that she was the one who had asked the first question instead.

"Y- Yeah. I grew up here, but I've been away for the past seven years. Just came to visit."

"Seven years? That's a lot. I can't go on for one without visiting back home at least once." She shifted on her seat and Mon-El heard a low groan from her and took his eyes momentarily from the road.

"Hey, you okay there?"

"Yeah, it's fine. Just moved the wrong way." Kara eased his concern.

"If you don't mind me asking, what happened that night?" Mon-El gulped and wondered if the question was too much and would cause her to shut off. He glimpsed to his right at her again and saw her eyes had turned puzzled.

"Well, I – I don't really remember. It's dumb. I'm sorry."

"No, no it's fine. I'm sorry if that made you uncomfortable. I shouldn't have asked." Mon-El tried to take the blame. _Dammit Mon-El! It's too soon!_

"No, it's not you. I just can't say how it exactly happened. But I think there was something in the middle of the road. Like a big animal… I don't know... I think I was trying to avoid it."

Mon-El listened to her and though most of his attention was dedicated to driving, the other part of his mind flew to the sounds he had heard that night.

"Like a horse?"

"A what?"

Mon-El pulled to the side of the street, right in front of the hotel and stopped the car. Turning on his seat a bit, he finally gave Kara all his attention. She was looking at him with a furrowed brow. An adorable crinkle had become visible between her eyebrows.

"A horse." Mon-El repeated in a lower voice, suddenly feeling his words sounded really idiotic and diverted his eyes to avoid her scrutinizing blue eyes.

"Maybe." He heard Kara mumble making Mon-El turning his head back to her again fast and they fell into an awkward silence again. This was far enough he thought.

"Anyway, we're here." Mon-El tapped his fingers on the wheel.

Kara looked out of her window to read the fancy letters written over the entrance of the 19th century four story building saying "Hotel Rouge".

After Mon-El helped carrying Kara's luggage to the lobby and she got her room key, she came towards Mon-El.

"Thank you again Mr. Gand."

"It was my pleasure Ms. Danvers." Mon-El gave her a soft smile. "And please call me Mon-El."

Kara smiled back at him. "If that's how it's going to be then you can call me Kara."

And she brought forward her hand and Mon-El didn't hesitate to shake it. "Kara it is."

 _This is so weird!_

Mon-El pushed his hands back into his pocket and that was when he felt something there and instantly remembered.

"Oh, almost forgot! Here." He took out her car keys and held them for her, but she shook her head.

"No, I think it has no use to me for now. You stick with them until the repair is finished."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I trust you." Kara flashed him a sweet smile that made his insides do a small flip flop.

"Ok, but at least let me give you my number so you can find me, and please call me if you need anything. I'd be happy to help." Mon-El opened his side bag's zipper quickly.

Mon-El gave Kara his business visit card which she accepted and wordlessly and then he left her to finally settle in the room she was supposed to be in two nights ago.


	6. Chapter 6: Acquisition

**Chapter 6: Acquisition**

The repeating sound of hammer banging against timber was starting to be the normal since that morning.

Mon-El watched his father nailing the wooden bars accurately in order to make a new window frame to replace the destroyed one in his room. He would hold the pieces when his father needed help or grabbed him the tools when he asked. That was all he could do. Fixing things wasn't his specialty really.

"Ugh! Son of a bitch!"

Mon-El snapped his head up from his phone when he heard his father swearing. It wasn't every day he heard him use words like that. He saw his father looking angrily at the now broken saw in his hand.

"Mon-El, son, could you go fetch me the old saw?"

"Of course. Where is it?"

"I think I boxed it in the attic."

Mon-El climbed the ladder up to the attic with cautious steps and coughed a few times when the dusty air tickled his throat.

He looked around for a moment to locate the tool.

Boy this place was a mess. There was no way he could find that saw just by looking, so he started shifting and checking the boxes around.

He finally found the saw behind an antique sewing machine. He picked it up with a cheerful exclamation and turned on his spot to head for the trap door, but what he saw in front of him caused his heart to jump into his mouth.

In front of him, on the other side of the attic stood a man in full military outfit and it wasn't just any outfit, it was a civil war Union captain uniform. Mon-El's eyes went wider, if that was even possible, when he met his face. There was no doubt.

He was the Great Mon-El Gand. His namesake.

He wasn't moving or saying anything at all. Just standing there with a mournful expression, not even looking at Mon-El, like he wasn't aware he was standing there.

The loud sound of the saw hitting the floor caused Mon-El to take his eyes away from the unbelievable sight involuntarily. He must have let go of the tool in his shock. Looking back up again fast, the spirit was gone the same way it had appeared.

Mon-El felt his legs wobbling after the rush of adrenalin wore off. He was desperate to get the hell out of the attic. Yet he felt faint. He picked up the saw and with a hand on his chest, tried to catch his breath.

Suddenly his eyes fell on an old chest right behind the spot the ghost had been standing not a minute ago. He remembered that chest from his grandparents' house. He knew what was in it.

Mon-El walked towards it hesitantly and opened the rusty leads on the chest.

Inside were some random objects that once belonged to his ancestors. Mon-El forgot about his encounter momentarily as he looked through the contents. Spectacles, almost decayed gloves, an ornate sword, riding crop and there was a leather cover notebook that he hadn't seen before. He picked it up and felt his hands starting to shake when he read the words on it.

 _ **Journal of**_

 _ **Mon-El Michael Gand**_

The junior Mon-El unwrapped the thick band that was holding the covers together and the flipped the cover to see the date of the first entry.

 _July 25th 1827_

 _It has been a wonderful trip to visit the east north lands of -_

"Mon-El?! What's taking you so long?"

He felt his heart stop beating once again in span of a few minutes at the sound of his father calling from down stairs.

"Coming. Just had to put some boxes around."

Mon-El put the journal in the back of his jeans and hid it under his sweater, before taking the saw with him and climbing down the stairs. He was itching to read it.

For the next two hours Mon-El waited impatiently until his father called it enough for the day and they went for lunch. After swallowing down his portion of spaghetti as fast as he could manage without raising suspicion, Mon-El ran the guest room he was staying at for the time being and finally got his hand of the old Journal.

 _July 25th 1827_

 _It has been a wonderful trip to visit the east north lands of Crimsonwood. I have been fortunate enough to make the acquaintance of many of our hard working and admirable neighbors. Despite my father's cynicism towards some fine lads from the Danvers household whom I once went to hunt with for an afternoon, I came to know all them to be authentic and amiable._

 _As of tomorrow, I shall turn eighteen and mother shared her concernment for my future this day as she had done on numerous occasions. There is no ambiguity that I, as the sole heir of my family, am obliged to take responsibility for the lands we own in Crismsonwood and soon espouse a Lady whom mother and father recognize her heritage suitable for the high stature of the Gand family._

 _I deem their opinion worthy, nevertheless I do not quiet agree with their ways. The ludicrous stalemate with Danvers and Kent families over obsolete disputes have predisposed many of our investments to dwindle needlessly so. I have declared some of these notions to mother, however she has refuted them by naming me an imbecile._

 _In contempt of the recent conflicts, I choose to enjoy the ball held in honor of my birthday coming the tomorrow night, while it lasts. Remarkably even the Danvers family are invited. Although, I do not believe any courtesy is involved in this ordeal and rather my mother brandishing the wealth and name of Gand plays a role._

* * *

 _The sun was casting blazing light beams over the green scenery, obliging him to use a hand to shield his eyes. She was walking with much lighter steps ahead, while mocking his slow pace. Her magnificent bright dress with lilac stripes was flowing over the emerald grass and colorful wild flowers surrounding them. One hand was preventing her decorated straw hat from falling and the other was grasping a book close to her side._

 _She was a vision to behold._

 _"Isn't this excellent exercise? Oh how I detest indoor activities mother so eagerly insists on!"_

 _He heard her gasping, mesmerized by the natural beauty laying in front. Yet all his eyes could grasp from the sight was her and only her. From the shining golden curls flowing over her shoulders to that splendid smile and sparkling eyes._

 _"The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars." He muttered unbeknownst to himself._

 _"I beg your pardon?" She turned to face him, her eyes swimming with life and affection._

 _"Nothing important." He found his way to stand in front of her. "I was merely admiring the view." His heart was ever so unashamedly betraying his cautious words and facet by beating erratically._

 _A playful smirk quirked the tips of her rosy lips. "Am I happen to be included in that view, you so charmingly were whispering about?"_

 _"What if you were?"_

 _"Do you happen to recite from Romeo and Juliet often to the ladies whom you chose to seek company with ?"_

 _"Not at all, Ms. Danvers."_

 _He shook his head in denial to which she gave an incredulous smile and walked away to kneel on a patch of fragrant grass under the sun. Opening her book on her lap from where a delicate dried rose was put as a bookmark, the young lady engaged herself with the page and left him to gaze nervously in silence._

 _"Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us."_

 _He came to take place beside her and created a shadow over the lines she was so gracefully reading out loud to him with fondness._

 _"Pride and Prejudice."_

 _"Have you read?!" The invitingly hopeful glow in those eyes deterred any soul whom wished to fail her._

 _"Of course. Controversial, yet exquisite literature if I dare say."_

 _The look of awe that appeared then on her features was unseen and indecipherable to him. Being so close to her for the first time, far from prying eyes, had clouded his sense and had added to his courage beyond what he believed possible. He leaned forward slightly and she remained stationary, watchful of his actions. Her own eyes wandering to his lips and back to his eyes._

 _"Mon-El?"_

 _The strict demand in another voice brought a harsh end to the moment and he raised his head to greet the invader._

* * *

The loud ringtone jolted Mon-El awake. He had fallen asleep on the bed with the old journal in his hands. With slow motions, he reached for the darn noisy object, debating with himself, if he should ignore the call or not. But it could be a new client or -

"Hello?"

"Hi, Mon-El it's me! Kara Danvers."

* * *

Mon-El parked the truck close to the coffee shop on Liberty Street and nervously walked towards the entrance. He briefly glanced through the window and sure enough Kara Danvers was sitting at a table close to window, working with her laptop. There was no other customer in the coffee shop.

As soon as he approached the table, Kara raised her head and jumped to her feet to greet him with a firm handshake.

"Hi! Thanks for coming!"

"Hi, no problem." Mon-El shook her hand and sat on the chair right across from her.

"So I know it sounds awkward to meet here of all places, but I also wanted to buy you a coffee in return for all you've done for me. So it doesn't mean anything if you you're thinking –"

"No, it's okay. I'm glad you called."

Mon-El chuckled a bit at how Kara kept adjusting her glasses and was flustered with red splotches on her cheeks.

"Anyways…" Kara blew a sigh of relief and turned more serious. "So, would you tell me how bad is my car? I'm pretty sure there's a list of needed parts and their prices and also the repair fee. "

"You don't need to worry about that now. I can handle it for now."

"I appreciate what you've done. Really. But I need to know. It's not right for you pay for my car."

Mon-El wished he could give that receipt to her after the car was repaired. He had even contemplated if he could use his own savings or ask his parents to borrow some money, but as Kara had said, it wasn't right. Therefore he put the paper in front of her.

Kara immediately reached for it and Mon-El saw her face fell with every line she read. Who would look any better if they were charged almost two thousand dollars?

"So, what can I get you?"

Mon-El took his eyes from Kara and looked at the waitress who had come to get their orders. There was no way he would forget that face with that smirk.

"Hello Siobhan."

"Hello Mon-El."

Mon-El felt Kara watching the cold exchange between them with curious eyes.

"I'll have a black coffee." He declared and turned back to look at Kara. She kept looking between him and Siobhan, confused why they had regarded each other so disdainfully.

"Caramel Latte please." She finally announced.

After Siobhan left them, Mon-El sensed the burning question in Kara's eyes.

"She once tried to ruin Eve's reputation back in high school, I ruined hers by taking pictures of her doing shady things and published them in the school journal."

Mon-El glanced back at the door which Siobhan had disappeared through. Kara followed his line of sight with her brow furrowed.

"Eve? You mean Eve the nurse?"

Mon-El nodded with small smile to which Kara responded with a snort.

"That must have been intense."

"Typical high school dramas." Mon-El shrugged.

"It must be weird to live somewhere where everyone knows everyone."

"Not weird. Mostly boring."

"Oh so that's why you ran away. Does it feel too small here?"

"Not small, no, it was…" Mon-El knotted his eyebrows in his effort to come up with the best words to explain why he'd left Crimsonwood. "It was like I couldn't find myself here. I always felt like something is missing here."

Mon-El felt even more unsure when Kara gave him an unusual look. "What?"

"Nothing, it's just that I've felt like that all my life. No matter where I go, I feel like I don't belong."

They stared at each other again, no one knew what to say next. There was this current between them ever since she had woken up in the hospital that Mon-El didn't knew how to interpret. Was there really a connection between them? What were those God damn restless spirits were trying to tell him by scaring him to death?

The moment was over when Siobhan brought their coffees over.

"So are you feeling better?" Mon-El asked shyly after taking some careful sips of his still too hot drink. He had noticed the bandage on her forehead was removed and only some stitches were remained.

"Yeah, of course. Nothing that some good night sleep can't fix." Kara replied nonchalantly and then her eyes fell on the paper in front of her and her eyes turned concerned again.

"Hey we can help you with this."  
"I can't ask anyone." Kara shook her head definitely.

Mon-El decided to drop the argument. She must have seen the struggle on his face, because she then rushed to assure him.

"I can handle this Mon-El, don't worry." Kara suddenly put her hand on his arm that was holding his cup on the table.

The touch sent his heart racing like electricity had replaced the blood in his veins. She retreated her hand shortly after, completely oblivious to his elated senses.

"Ok, so I let you know as soon as your car is ready." Mon-El finally spoke.

"Thank you." Kara beamed at him gratefully and then they continued with their coffees.

"So I noticed from your card, you're a photographer? It must be satisfying to show others how the world looks like in your eyes."

The question caught him a bit off guard. Though, he should have expected that.

"It's not exactly a dream job, doesn't pay as much as you like, but I guess as you put it, I get to find new angles to things no one usually pay attention to." Mon-El shrugged, feeling desperately out of words. He had never met anyone who would show interest in his profession.

The defeated look on his face however didn't go unnoticed by Kara.

"Oh, no. it's not going well?"

He shook his head, avoiding her eyes. "For the past six months it's like I've hit a block. That's why I'm back here actually. I though coming back here would help giving me some space to think and find a new way."

Kara didn't say anything right away.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out. It happens to everyone in life."

"It does?" Mon-El said in skepticism.

"Of course. I spent three years in a bistro waiting tables until I finally could get an internship in the media company I was dreaming to work at and a whole year just fetching paper and typing nonsense until they gave me the position of a junior editor. I never thought I reach that point. Endless nights just staring at the ceiling…" Kara looked outside the window, undoubtable remembering the endless nights. "… But I want to become a reporter one day. And you can have everything you want in life too, just have to be patient."

Mon-El felt some of the dark cloud weighing over him for a long time finally broke away. He had never heard such encouraging words from anyone. Her optimism was contagious. He felt for the first time he had hope again. Maybe one day he got to have his own studio and have galleries just like he dreamed.

After Kara paid for the drinks, they exited the coffee shop and stood in front of it for what Mon-El guessed was goodbye.

"I can drive you anywhere you need."

Kara looked at him briefly, clearly deciding whether to ask him or not.

"You remember I told you last time it's no bother for me." Mon-El smartly guided her decision making.

"Okay. You win!" Kara raised her free hand in defeat.

As soon as they took their seats in the truck just like the last time, Mon-El asked for direction.

"Well it's this house that belonged to Jonathan Kent who apparently was my great uncle."

"Jonathan Kent is your great uncle?" Mon-El asked in awe, remembering the grumpy old man who used to give kids deathly glares and mouthful of ancient curses when they accidently stepped on his neatly looked after mown.

"Was. He passed away four months ago. Did you know him?"

"Only a little." Mon-El answered after turning right on the crossroad. "Did you know him?"

"No, I didn't even knew he excited until they contacted me to discuss his Will. That's why I'm here. They tracked me down and said I'm his only next of kin. "

Mon-El brought the car to a halt in front of a two story white house with a garden and porch.

"This is it?" Kara asked unsure as she was getting off of the truck.

"Yeah, this should be it."

They walked quietly up to the porch together and stood awkwardly in front of the door. Mon-El heard an eerie moaning sound and looked to his right instantly only to see a weathered rocking chair swinging on its own. A shiver ran through him. There was no wind or even a breeze in the air, how was that chair even moving?

Mon-El decided to focus back on Kara to restrain his own wild imagination that was about to give him a panic attack. She had pulled out a key chain from her purse and was in the process to open the door with the biggest key.

"The lawyer gave me the keys this morning." For some reason Kara was talking in a very hushed voice. Maybe she was feeling as overwhelmed as he was feeling.

The door whined and creaked as it opened just like it would in any scary movie, revealing a dark room and a staircase that went up to an invisible floor.

"Do- Do you want me to leave?"

Mon-El asked when he sensed Kara was stalling in the doorway. Was he over staying? Did he even had right to stay with her any longer than this? But when Kara turned to answer him with her mouth ajar and eyes wide, Mon-El figured out the answer before she said it out loud.

"N- No, I mean yes you can obviously leave if you have something else to do and I don't want to –"

Mon-El cut off her petrified babbling by putting his hand on her forearm and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"It's fine. I can stay with you." He looked inside the dark house before continuing. "Besides, I wouldn't want to wander around this place all by myself either. It's freaking creepy."

"Thank you."

Kara visibly sighed in relief and with a new found courage, stepped inside the house with Mon-El on her heels. They stopped again to look around themselves, no one was stupid enough to close the door and trap them in there with little to no light. To his right, Mon-El vaguely saw the living room stoked with furniture that were all covered by white sheets. Not freaky at all.

Kara walked towards the closest window and opened the curtains, allowing the daylight pouring in. Mon-El quickly copied her and after they were both satisfied with the lighting, the door was closed.

"So, what are we doing here?" Mon-El asked as she watched Kara looking even more doubtful than before.

"Ehm, well according to the Will, this is my house now."

"Wow, that doesn't happen every day."

"Yeah, you can say that again. I didn't even think I had any relatives left in this world."

Kara claimed as she walked past him to go into the living room and pulled at one of the sheets. Her confession had left Mon-El baffled.

"You don't have any one?" He finally dared asking and followed her around.

She didn't respond right away and Mon-El knew it must be a sensitive topic. Kara kept removing the covers to see her new belongings. Old things she had never asked for.

"It's just…" She eventually spoke. "It'd always been just me and my mom until I lost her too when I was at college."

"I'm so sorry Kara."

"It's fine. It's all in the past now."

Kara turned to face him and Mon-El could see her eyes were sad, but she blinked a few times and replaced that with determination.

"Did Mr. Kent had other relatives in Crimsonwood?"

"No, I don't think so. He was living alone after his wife passed away. I don't think I ever met her. I heard that they couldn't have kids." Mon-El tried harder to remember if Mr. Kent had any other relatives around there. "I can ask my parents if you like. Maybe they know better."

"That would be kind of you, but I think they wouldn't have called me if there were any other family member."

Kara sighed as she walked into the dingy kitchen and opened some cabinets to see their contents.

Mon-El hummed in agreement, more questions burning in his mind. He asked before he could stop himself.

"May I ask how you're related to ?"

"Well, it's a bit complicated." Kara stood upright after closing the cabinet she was checking. "You see, my mother was Alura Danvers and I took her last name after my father left us when I was very little and apparently my mother had a great uncle called Jonathan Kent who was my grandfather's eldest cousin and she had never mentioned. So I think I'm as surprised and confused as you are."

"Oh, well, but at least you get to have another house here all by yourself." Mon-El nervously laughed, trying to lighten up the mood.

"I guess, but what am I going to do? I can't just leave my life in National City and move here."

Kara rolled her eyes and reached for another cabinet on upper level and yanked it open. Mon-El was about to ask the next question that was on the tip of his tongue, when a rattling sound caused Kara to yelp sharply and jump back and collide with him.

A few dishes fell down and smashed into pieces as the clattering continued and unintentionally, Mon-El wrapped his hand around Kara protectively and dragged her away, fearing one of the ghosts was about to show up again.

A big black rat with blood shot eyes jumped out of the cabinet and scurried away under the sink compartment.

After they both calmed down a bit, Mon-El noticed their proximity and stepped away instantly.

"S- Sorry about that. Didn't mean to…" He pushed his hands into his pockets with a crimson face and avoided Kara's eyes.

"It's fine. Sorry I jumped at you." Kara looked equally flustered.

She almost ran out of the kitchen, still panting and shaking a bit. "Rats don't usually scare me, but that one was big."

Mon-El followed her willingly, not enjoying to stay in that kitchen with rats longer than that and nodded.

"Yeah, it got me too."

She had no idea how relieved Mon-El was feeling that it was just a rat and not some 19th century wandering spirit trying to throw things at them.

Kara took in some deep breaths until her eyes fell on the staircase.

"They lawyer told me to check his personal safe for important documents with this small key." She showed Mon-El the smallest key in the key chain. "Do you think he kept the safe in his bedroom?"

"I'm not sure, let's go find out." Mon-El suggested, but they stood staring at the dark first floor.

"Finally! There's a switch here!" Kara found the light switch on the wall and jumped to turn it on and end the darkness.

But of course it wasn't working.

"They must have cut off the electricity after there was no one paying the bills or living here." Mon-El explained as Kara kept stubbornly flipping the switch on and off in hopes of making it work. He went to stand on the first step and brought out his phone to use it as a flash light. Fortunately there was still thirty minutes left until the sunset so they weren't in pitch dark.

When Mon-El took the lead, Kara followed him without any further comments. If he was being honest, Mon-El wasn't particularly feeling brave doing this, but some part of him didn't want Kara to possibly come face to face with some supernatural being while he was lurking in behind. By now, he knew well how terrifying the experience could be. With every step the creaking of the wood beneath their shoes echoed in the house, grinding on his nerves and making him more apprehensive.

Their seemingly endless ascend to the first floor finally finished completely uneventful and Mon-El let out a breath he was holding. Now to the second part of their journey in finding Mr. Kent's bedroom.

"Have you ever been in this house before?" Mon-El felt Kara whisper after shuffling to come stand behind him as close as it wouldn't be considered inappropriate.

"No, but it looks pretty much like our house. The design I mean." Mon-El answered in equally low voice. He casted his light on a frame on the wall in the hallway. It was black and white wedding photo.

"Is that Mr. Kent and his wife?" Mon-El could feel Kara's warm breath on the shell of his ear as she had leaned forward to take a better look at the old picture.

"Yeah." Mon-El nodded, his voice hoarse and his eyes searching the dark narrow passage worriedly.

They made it to the closest door and Mon-El pushed the handle. It was locked. He stepped aside, allowing Kara to use her keys on it. It took two tries, until the third key turned open the lock.

Kara walked in first despite Mon-El's internal objection and went to open a curtain again – Which proved to be very effective just like the last time.

It wasn't a bedroom. The two sides of the room were filled with shelves of books, completed with an enormous desk on the opposite side near the window. They both looked around them for a moment, inspecting the exceptional collection. Mon-El watched Kara dragging her fingers over the spine of the books as she was skimming the titles with a soft smile on her lips. She seemed far more relaxed and her own true self right then. Her finger stopped on a particular one and pulled out the hard cover brown book with a soft exclamation of amazement, like she had found something she had been looking for her whole life.

"Oh my god! This must be one of the earliest editions!"

Mon-El walked over to see what had caught her attention. "Pride and Prejudice?" He hopped she didn't notice the slight tremor in his voice.

"I love this novel! My all-time favorite! I've read it like a hundred times. You could say I'm a bit of a Jane Austin fangirl!" Kara exclaimed with a blushed face.

Mon-El laughed anxiously at her and accidentally his eyes fell on the painting hanging by the door. They hadn't noticed it when they had entered the room.

His blood ran cold.

It was _her_.

"Mon-El?" Kara was looking at him with worried eyes. He had completely blanked out.

"Ehm, so sorry I was just…" Mon-El stuttered and gulped, shuffling on his feet, trying to take reign in his wrecked thoughts.

"Oh, who's this?" Kara finally saw what had initiated the awkward behavior in him and walked towards the portrait.

She then turned to look at Mon-El with questioning eyes.

If only Kara could somehow take off her glasses – even in this dim light – Mon-El swore there would be almost no difference between the two faces. He then remembered that he had to give an answer to her question.

"I- I'm not sure."

Mon-El forced himself to come stand next to Kara and they both looked more closely at the aged painting. There was no names on the frame, but Mon-El had no doubt in his mind who it was anymore. To his surprise, Kara seemed utterly unaffected and unaware by the resemblance so far.

What Mon-El spotted next in the painting, completely pushed away all other thoughts waging his mind.

There was a necklace around her neck, but not just any necklace. Mon-El had seen it many times since he was little. That necklace belonged to her mother.


	7. Chapter 7: Reappearance

**Notes:**

Happy Easter to everyone out there who celebrate! :)  
Guys I am so sorry for the long wait. I know you must be so disappointed with me but I hope this long chapter makes up for it. :)  
I was busy writing this other Karamel fic called Jinxed. it took all my time. Please read that one too if you like comedy and humor in between this angsty fic and want pass time until April 16th! it's only four chapters long ;)

* * *

 **Chapter 7: Reappearance**

Mon-El almost fell through the door in his haste to get into their house. After failing to find Mr. Kent's safe – Kara being the one who searched the study room since Mon-El seemed incapacitated after seeing the painting – they noticed it was dusk and neither wished to stay in that gloomy (and in Mon-El's opinion, haunted) house and left soon. Mon-El dropped Kara at the Hotel, barely talking to her and drove fast to get himself home as soon as possible.

"Mom?"

Mon-El called as soon as he closed the front door. The muffled sound of hammering from upstairs indicated that his father was back at fixing the window.

"Mon-El?"

He found her mother in the living room, enjoying a cup of tea all by herself and watching a reality show on TV.

"I… Ah… I have a question –"

His mother eyed him suspiciously. "Are you ok? You look like you've seen a ghost!"

"What?!" Mon-El swallowed nervously. "Of course I'm okay!"

"Did something happen between you and that girl?"

"Ugh no mother, nothing has happened!"

"I've heard you two are hitting it off as you kids say it these days." She winked bemusedly as she sipped her tea with a Cheshire cat smile.

"No! Who told you that?!" Mon-El scrunched his face in disgust. He should've known better. In a small town like this, nothing could stay a secret. Only the facts always got twisted.

"I ran into Matilda this morning at the bakery. She said that Eve told her you and that new girl are spending a lot of time together."

Mon-El literally face palmed and dropped himself on the nearest sofa. Matilda was Mrs. Tessmacher, Eve's mother.

"No, come on, I'm just trying to help her with her car and getting around the town. There's nothing going on between us."

Her mother took mercy on him and finally dropped the subject.

"Okay. So, you said you had a question?"

"Ah, yes! Um, I was wondering about that necklace you have."

"Which necklace?" Her mother took another sip at her tea while half her attention was back to the TV.

"The old looking one with a small blue gemstone."

"Oh you mean the one you're grandfather gave me?" She looked at Mon-El again.

"I guess? I don't really know."

It seemed that Mon-El asking after the old jewelry suddenly sounded much more interesting than the TV show, because his mother forgot about it altogether and put her cup away to stand up and walked towards their bedroom. Mon-El followed her with a pounding heart. Would he finally find some answers? Come to think of answers, he absolutely had to go read the rest of that journal.

After raking through her jewelry box for a minute that felt more like an hour, his mother finally brought out the necklace. To be honest, Mon-El had doubts about it. He could be wrong. Maybe they just looked similar and he had jumped to conclusion, thinking the two were same, but the moment his eyes fell on the brilliant sapphire gem, all hesitations were gone. This was the same necklace from the painting.

"You're father's father, he gave me this necklace right after we got engaged."

Mon-El was too focused on the necklace and missed the fondness with which his mother's was telling him the story. He really wanted to hold it in his own hands, as if it were calling to him, hypnotizing him. But the flickering fear in his heart convinced him otherwise.

"Did eh, did grandpa ever told you where he got the necklace from?" His voice was almost shaking with anticipation.

"Well, hmm. I don't remember if he said where this was from other than being a family heirloom, but I remember him saying that it's a costume that every first bride of the Gand family should be gifted with this particular necklace."

"Why?"

She shook her head. "I don't know."

"Does father know?"

"I'm not sure. You should ask him."

With a nod, Mon-El turned to go find his father.

"Wait, Mon-El. What's all this about?"

Mon-El spun around to look at his mother, his mouth completely dry. What could he say to that?

"Nothing, it's a, I saw a necklace today and it reminded me of yours. I'm just curious you know where it's from."

He shrugged and prayed his mother would buy the actually true reason and don't ask further. To his relief, she only chuckled.

"Reminds me of when you were just ten and drove your grandfather mad with your endless questions about World War Two."

Mon-El recalled how enthusiastic he was to know every detail about the war his grandfather had participated in as a sergeant. He would always answer Mon-El's very specific questions about strategy, ranks and weapons with patience, but he would never really tell him what he had seen on the battlefields and whenever Mon-El pushed him, he would scold and sent him to help his grandmother with the house chores.

He had to wait until dinner for his father coming down so he could ask him about the necklace.

To his disappointment, his father didn't know anything more than his mother did about the origins of the pendant. He only claimed that presenting the bride with the necklace was supposed to be an act of true love and acceptance in Gand family.

Mon-El went to the guest room and picked up the old journal and turned to the second entry. Perhaps there was an answer in it.

 _July 27th 1827_

 _According to my mother my Birthday Ball occurred in success and was appeasing. Although as a habitual dialogue, she shared her mild displeasure the following morning with my light behavior and my insistence on dancing with every lady in the room, particularly the Danvers daughters, Alexandra and Kara. I came to the realization that these ladies are by far the most exceptional young ladies I have had the pleasure meeting. Neither of these ladies were even remotely inclined to dance with me on the first invitation, completely contrary to what I had grown used to in my numerous encounters with other young ladies in Crimsonwood. I am quite aware of our families' differences, nevertheless my charisma had never failed me in charming ladies. Therefore, last evening's events left me truly baffled. I am absolutely convinced that if it weren't for Mrs. Danvers' chastising her daughters for lack of courtesy, I would not have had the opportunity to dance with the youngest of the ladies whom this was her first appearance in public at the age of sixteen. The eldest daughter, Alexandra, however was not easily intimidated by her mother's direct orders and was rather quick to decline my hand bitterly. The dance with Ms. Kara Danvers, didn't pass uneventful either, as the young lady deliberately ignored my commentaries over the noticeable features of the room for the lack of a common topic and stepped on my feet quiet often for it being a simple mistake in placement of the foot during the dance. I sincerely confess, I have not been more enthused to acquaint with a maiden, as much as I have been intrigued by the young Ms. Danvers. It is such a shame that our chances at meetings are so few and far between, considering the tight disagreement between our households and my mother's profound resentment for the Danvers, otherwise, I would be more than pleased to know the way this particular lady reflects and maybe even make an effort to correct that unfound judgment she holds against me._

The diary for July 27th ended there and Mon-El didn't hesitate to flip the aged yellow paper to read the next entry.

 _February 14th 1832_

Wait! What happened to the past five years?! Mon-El hurriedly flipped the papers back and forth, thinking he must have skipped pages but realized it wasn't a mistake. He touched the spine of the notebook where the pages were sewed together. So many pages had been ripped off. Why!?

Mon-El gritted his teeth, but continued reading anyway. This entry had three splotches like drops of water mixed with fresh ink which had not been fully dried yet and caused some words to become disfigured around them.

 _February 14th 1832_

 _It has been three years, nonetheless the agonizing pang is fully present and prepared to rip open my chest and cut my heart into shreds as it always had been since that foul day which took away from me the only thing in this world I cherished most. Words will never be enough to describe the excruciating ache I have experienced this whole time._

 _I didn't wish to even scribble these soulless, dark feelings that bring me to my knees repeatedly when I unleash my rigid rein on them. The only reason I opted to report on this unblessed day, is the requirement to express my concerns in a place where my mother will not be successful to pry on._

 _Father has been less persistent in forcing me to change. Yet he clearly stated the time has already arrived for me to move on ever so gradually and soon I will be engaged to Imra Ardeen. She is gentle, perceptive and bright. She has been the only person who listened to me unlike anyone before her these past three years. Albeit the union between us is the request of our families to finally bring an end to the long standoff, I suppose I will be content with Imra._

The writing ended there in an unceremonious way and Mon-El turned the page to read the rest of the worn-out notebook, too lost in the words and completely unaware of his surroundings and the passage of time.

There wasn't anything more about that mysterious young Ms. Danvers. There were just pages after pages on boring and unimportant events in a very dull tone until the great Mon-El had left Crimsonwood to join the army and his writings turned far more depressing and existential.

He reached the last entry. The handwriting was awful and he had difficulty making out each word.

 _March 13th 1865_

 _There are few words left worthy enough to say. Even less to write. I am carrying fetal wounds to the side, fever has rattled my senses and consciousness and in spite of the physicians keeping the truth to themselves, I am aware how close I am to my finishing line._

 _Alas my time has arrived and with a heavy heart I will soon depart my family and loved ones whom I realize will come to grieve my absence. I am writing this to them even though I am aware my will is resting in my drawers in the library room._

 _My lovely wife Imra, I will forever be in debt to you, for your kindness and care. For our remarkable children._

 _My sweethearts, Elinor and Adeline, stay strong and brave, never shrink in the face of obstacles and thrive on true love._

 _My beloved only son, Michael, I will not be around anymore, therefore I ask you to attend to our family in my stance and keep your mother and sisters safe like the man I have come to know you are. I am thoroughly proud of you and trust all to you. I am confident you remember the conversation we had the night before I left for the front line . Follow your heart and choose to spend your days with someone you dearly love and care for. I leave you the pendant. Give it to the one that holds your heart. Someone who completes you and challenges you and guides you to become a better human than you have been prior to meeting them._

 _Now that I have taken these last words off of my chest, I can sense the shadows lifting from my soul. The pain from memories of that two years a lifetime ago that transformed me for the rest of my years, they are abating at last, so I let myself remembering you again. I leave this world in hopes of laying my eyes on your divine features once more and join you in the heavens if it is God's desire._

 _I'm coming home my love…_

When Mon-El finally put down the journal with uneven breathing, he noticed how late and dark it had grown. His eyes fell on his wrist watch on the night stand beside him. It shined 2:43 and he was wide awake.

He felt shaken to his core. The dreams made much more sense now. They weren't just dreams. They must have been memories. And the necklace, it seemed to have been his namesake's possession in the beginning. Had it been hers originally? The young Ms. Danvers?

But the question was, why was he seeing these and what was he supposed to do with them. Could it be that he and Kara were incarnations? But that would be insane. No, he didn't believe in things like that.

Mon-El palmed his face repeatedly and then stood up to pace around the dark guest room. Somehow all this felt very personal to him and he felt the urge to see the necklace again. He could wait until morning and ask his mother to borrow the necklace for a few days, but what explanation could he provide which wouldn't cause her question him further and give him odd looks? Standing up to his feet, Mon-El creaked his door open and saw the pitch dark corridor. He walked quietly towards his parents' bedroom where they were fast asleep and stepped inside.

His father's light snores were the only sound filling the bedroom. Mon-El locked his eyes on his mother's jewelry box in front of the mirror and walked towards it on the tips of his toes.

He opened the small decorated box and instantly saw the thousands of tiny blue reflections of its gemstone on top. With slightly quivering hands, he reached and picked up the necklace slowly, half expecting something to happen. A ghost conjuring or another memory hitting him. But neither happened. It was just him standing frozen in front of the mirror in darkness staring at himself with terrified eyes and heavy exhales.

Mon-El eventually moved to exit the room with the necklace possessively held in his fist. He didn't know what all this meant, but he was going to find out.

* * *

"Good morning." Kara greeted with a bright wide smile when she saw him leaning to the truck parked in front of the hotel.  
"Morning Kara." Mon-El nodded, trying hard to keep the hoarseness of his voice hidden.

But of course she immediately picked up on his tired posture. "Mon-El are you ok?"

"Yeah, just tired. Couldn't sleep well last night." He shrugged and moved to the other side to get behind the wheel.

"You know you don't have to drive me everywhere every day." Kara pointed out as she got into her seat.

"I know, but I have nothing to do with my time either." He ignited the engine and chuckled.

"Thanks anyway."

"No, problem." Mon-El turned his attention to the road and cleared his throat. "So back to the creepy house?"

Kara giggled and confirmed. "Yes. I still need to find that safe."

Mon-El hummed in agreement. "Would you also like to see your car?"

"Ah, yes! That would be great."

After a few quiet minutes, Mon-El heard Kara sigh. "Something wrong?"

"Not really. Sheriff Henshaw called this morning. He said I'm obliged to compensate for the damage I caused to that tree I hit."

Mon-El couldn't exactly see her face, but sensed the crinkle and roll of her eyes.

His mind was very foggy today. The words in the journal written by a long deceased man and glimpses of that long forgotten life etched in his mind from the dreams, didn't allow him to catch a blink the entire night. At the first light of the day he had crept into the attic, scrambling through everything to find the lost pages of the journal and only managing to find his portrait. Mon-El spent a whole hour staring at it, debating if he really looked anything like the man captured on that worn surface with oil colors. The painting was now taking the place of the ugly painting in the guest room on the wall.

The necklace was secure in his pocket and questions on mind to ask Kara. Was she having similar premonition like he was? Had she seen ghosts like he had?

They stopped on their way at Mr. Vincent's and watched him struggling to install the new gear box. They spoke a few words and found out that it may take over a week for the car to be fully repaired.

Returning back to the car to resume their drive, Mon-El decided to let the radio fill the silence this time.

"…. And you will be able to see the comet on February 25th all over America and world." A familiar man's voice clamed.

"Oh is this about that comet?" Kara excitedly turned up the volume. Mon-El had no clue what she was talking about.

A woman's voice this time came on. "Thank you Niel. For our listeners who just joined us, we are talking with Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson about one of the most interesting astronomical events of 2018 after the Super Blue Blood Moon that occurred on January 31th. The return of Eria comet."

Aha. He knew Neil deGrasse Tyson. He liked listening to his podcasts sometimes when he had the time. He didn't say anything and the two kept listening for more information.

"As I mentioned earlier Eria comet has a very long orbital period. About 189 years to be more accurate. Its orbit goes almost as far as the planet Neptune. The last sightseeing of this comet goes back to February 14th 1829."

Mon-El's skipped many beats. It was a miracle he didn't lose control of the car.

"Oh a Valentin's Day! How sweet!" The female moderator claimed with a chuckle. He heard Kara laughing lightly as well.

"Yes Leslie! It must have been a very romantic night for the lovers living at that time. It's unfortunate the lovers have to wait for about 567 years for that to happen again."

"Ugh but that's too far away! I was starting to have my hopes high!"

"Can't argue with Kepler's law."

"So how we can see this long overdue reappearance Neil?"

"Well, you should be able to observe this comet with naked eyes as soon as the sun sets on February 25th for about two weeks. It will be positioned between the two constellations Orion and Sirius. That should be in the direction of south-east after the dusk."

The podcast finished soon after that with some other details about equipment useful to observe the comet better and some sources to find more information on comets.

Mon-El stopped the car in front of the old house, causing his mind to flood with a sense of déjà vu. He was losing the internal battle with himself.

"Um, Kara?" He asked stopping Kara midway opening the car door.

"Yes?" Kara stared at him with raised brows, waiting for him to speak, but he just couldn't. It was too absurd, too impossible. The pause was turning long and he had to say something.

"I was wondering if I can invite you to lunch with some friends today?"

Mon-El inwardly thanked Winn for calling this morning and invite him for lunch at the small bar restaurant Crimsonwood owned. He knew Winn and Eve wouldn't be upset if he brought Kara along.

"Of course! Thank you." Kara's eyes sparkled gleefully, bringing a smile to Mon-El's face at last. He liked this look on Kara's face so much. It reminded him too much of those dreams. There he went again, reminding himself of the dreams that gave him heart ache night after night.

"Mon-El? Are you sure you're okay?"

He realized he'd been quiet for too long. Her eyes were shining with concern this time.

"Yeah, yeah. No need to worry about me. I'm fine. Just tired I guess." He shook his head to dismiss Kara's worries and nodded towards the house waiting for her. "I should let you go back to your business."

"Oh, I was thinking you'd like to join me today like yesterday but of course you need to get some rest…" Kara started mumbling, looking rather disappointed.

"Ah, but that's not a problem at all. I'd like to accompany you."

"Really?! Because I really don't want to –"

Mon-El rushed to ease her mind. "Kara, it's not a big deal. I can survive a sleepless night. We can search the house for those documents and then we head for the lunch together."

"Okay then. It's a date, NO, I meant deal! It's a DEAL!" She blushed profusely, with the soft smile back onto her lips.

Mon-El burst into laughter. "Yes, it's a deal."

They both entered the old house, this time more familiar with their surroundings. The daylight helped a great deal in decreasing the eeriness.

"Where do we search this time?" Mon-El asked as they climbed the stairs. The constant creaking didn't bother either of them anymore.

"I was thinking Mr. Kent's bedroom would be the best place to start."

Mon-El hummed in agreement as his hand unconsciously touched the necklace in his pocket in reassurance as they crossed passed the library room on their way. He wished he could see the painting again even if it gave him goosebumps.

They entered the bedroom. It was as common as they got by. A bed with a nightstand and a lamp on it, a wardrobe and a chair. Nothing on the walls and the curtains fast shut. Too ordinary for what Mon-El had prepared himself for.

The air felt so dusty and old. Kara quickly walked towards the windows, pulled away the curtains and tried to open the window.

"Ugh! It's stuck!"

Mon-El hurried to help her. It was a sash style window and it must have become jammed after so many days not being opened.

Their hands touched accidentally and Mon-El instantly felt her warmth spreading up his arm. Their eyes met momentarily and he could see she was a bit affected as well and retreated her hand instantly.

They didn't mention anything about this and Mon-El focused on opening the window.

The cold fresh air streamed into the room and let them breath with more ease before starting to look for the safe. They found it at last under Mr. Kent's bed. Kara opened it and found the old papers she had been looking for in them.

They explored the other parts of the house together afterwards. Nothing as eye-catching as the items in the library came up in their search. That was until they reached the attic. Kara wasn't really that keen on checking that part due to all the dust and maybe even surprise visits from unwelcome creatures that might be residing there, lurking around like that rat from the day before. But they had a lot of time left until the lunch so she claimed it wouldn't be the worst idea, especially with Mon-El being there.

The first thing that crossed his mind when he climbed into the attic, was that it actually was much neater than theirs. Everything was boxed in identical cartons and furniture were collected in a corner. It was rather a dull lonely place. Dim and dry. Neither talked or commented, not sure what could be said.

Mon-El's eyes caught the golden glitter of something, drawing him to itself. He walked towards it without reflecting on his action and stopped when he reached it. It was his waist tall. He couldn't tell what it was, as more than half of the slim long object was covered with a sheet. He tugged on it, causing a cloud of dust hitting his nose, making him sneeze.

"What's that?" Kara was standing right beside him with curious eyes.

"… A telescope?"

They both walked a few steps backwards and looked at it both with tilted heads. It was a nineteenth century style telescope on a delicate wooden tripod. It was such an aesthetic antique piece that it felt wrong for it being so abandoned and ignored in this place. It belonged to a museum.

Mon-El couldn't explain why he suddenly felt an attraction to this particular object.

Kara extended a hand and gently touched the aged gold layer of the tube. Over the years it had worn off and now it bore black fringes and stains.

"It… It's so beautiful…" All of a sudden she was whispering.

"It is." He responded in an equally low voice.

They both seemed to be in a sort of a trance, ensued by nothing more than an old artifact, among other forgotten things in an old house that used to belong to a recently deceased man.

* * *

The duo stepped inside the Blue Moon Restaurant and easily spotted Winn and Eve sitting at a table in the far corner which had the best privacy. There were only another couple in the restaurant beside them, so it was fairly quiet.

Eve was the first to stand and greet them with glowing eyes.

"Hi!"

"Hi, sorry if we kept you waiting." Mon-El kissed her on the cheek before shaking Winn's hand. He was giving Mon-El a weird look after seeing Kara with him.

"Not at all, we just got here." Winn shook his head in reassurance.

"Hi." Kara shyly waved a hand.

"Kara this is Winn, my best friend. Winn this is Kara Danvers." Mon-El introduced and winced when Winn shook Kara's hand too many times with wide eyes. Not awkward at all. "Nice to meet you Kara."

"Nice meeting you Winn." Kara nodded with a smile.

"And this is Eve, but I think you already know her."

"Hi Eve. Pleasure seeing you again."

"Oh, the pleasure is all mine!" Eve giggled and hugged Kara like they were besties.

They sat down and ordered their favorite dishes from the menu. Starting with some red wine.

"So Kara, how are things going with the inheritance process?"

Mon-El hid his grin behind the glass in his grasp when Kara almost choked on her drink at Eve's question.

"How – " Kara stuttered, giving Mon-El a disbelief look to which he raised his free hand in the air.

"I swear I didn't tell anyone."

It must have been very unusual to her, seeing other people already knowing about her business in Crimsonwood while she hadn't exactly discussed it with strangers.

"Oh, relax, I heard it from my mother who heard it from Farther Coville last Sunday that Mr. Kent's lawyer had finally found his next of kin and she is here. It wasn't that hard to guess it was you." Eve explained nonchalantly.

Kara on the other hand still looked awestruck.

"News travel really fast around here." Mon-El added in hopes of clearing things more for her.

"I can see that now." She murmured before answering Eve. "And things are fine. I just need to fill some forms here and sign there in a few days and it's done."

Their food was brought over and fortunately the lunch wasn't getting weird like Mon-El feared initially, judging by Winn's reaction to Kara.

"Are you planning on moving to Crimsonwood? Oh that would be so amazing! You're gonna love it here!"

"Oh, I'm sure it must be nice living here, but I already have my life back in National City. I have to go back as soon as my car is fixed or I'll lose my job."

Even though Mon-El had guessed Kara wasn't planning on staying, hearing her say that out loud caused his stomach sink low. The thought of not seeing Kara was unimaginably painful.

He couldn't focus on the conversations anymore, just drowned in the sad feeling that was clenching his heart by the minute. Loneliness. The dark and cold tendrils of loss wrapped its coils ever so tightly around his soul, enslaving him.

He only came around when he vaguely heard others were saying goodbyes and getting up.

"It was so good seeing you again Kara."

"I hope you enjoy your stay here, let us know if you need any help."

"Thank you, it was really nice meeting you. Don't worry, Mon-El is helping me with everything even though I asked him not to."

"Oh yeah, he's stubborn like that."

"And congratulation on your engagement again guys. I'm so happy for you. I wish you the best."

"Thank you Kara. We really hope you can make it to our wedding."

They all walked outside together, bidding each other goodbye and departed to walk their respective paths towards their cars.

"Mon-El are you ok? You barely touched your food."

Mon-El tried to swallow the lump in his throat before answering Kara, all too conscious of her hand touching on his upper arm. He finally met her worried gaze. She looked genuinely concerned and he felt guilty for being the reason. He had behaved so poorly during the lunch. Even Winn had looked at him questionably.

"There's something I need to tell you." He knew his voice sounded many octaves deeper than usual.

"What's wrong? Did something happen?" Now she looked so puzzle.

"It's – It's really hard to explain. I rather show you first." He picked up his pace to reach the car. He had made up his mind. He couldn't push this back anymore and had to tell her the truth. This all felt like deceiving her.

"Mon-El you look really pale. Maybe you should go back home and rest. You said you were tired since this morning. Can't this wait until tomorrow?"

"No, please Kara. I have to show you this!" He pleaded with her with his hand gripping the truck door handle so hard that his knuckles turned white.

"I shouldn't have pushed you to help me this morning."

"I promise you didn't do anything wrong. This is important and I can't keep it from you anymore."

"Mon-El… What are you talking about?!" She was standing rooted to the ground a few feet away, eyes wide open.

"Please Kara, do you trust me?" He locked his eyes with her disbelieving stare, hopping she would see through him and accept.

There was a dragging second before her lips moved at last.

"Yes, I trust you."

Mon-El nodded with appreciation and moved over to the passenger seat side to open the door for her before she got there.

They didn't talk the whole ride, making it feel much longer than it actually was. He was so thankful that she had accepted that he couldn't tell her anything yet and didn't push him more.

He stopped the truck in the middle of what seemed like nowhere and turned it off. Mon-El got off the car and Kara copied him.

"Where are we?" She was constantly looking around herself to spot anything noticeable. He was sorry to hear the note of fright in her voice. He didn't mean to scare her, but there was no other way to break the truth to her.

The fogs were back, Mon-El grimly noted. Why did it have to look extra ominous today of all days?

"This way." He walked along the narrow gravel road that he knew perfectly well where it leaded. "There is this old cemetery in Crimsonwood that the locals used to be buried there."

"Is Mr. Kent buried there? Is that what you want to show me?" She was panting a little, trying to keep up with his quick stride.

"Not exactly."

He murmured as they both approached the ruined gates. Laying in front of them was a clouded track covered by thick moth and decorated with broken sculptures and tilted, worn and dented tombstones and limestone crosses, completed by the sound of crows croaking in the distance.

Mon-El was thinking Kara should snap at him just about now, calling him names and walking away in despise, but instead he sensed her closing the distance between them and slowly lacing her fingers with his.

There was no turning back now.

* * *

 **End Notes:**

I hope you liked this chapter!

I think I have to let everyone know that Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson is a real person and I didn't make him up! His a known face in documentaries and field of astronomy. I love his way with words and how he explains complicated physics subjects with ease.  
The Super Blue Blood Moon really did happen on Jan 31st, but the Eria comet is completely made up by me and is not real! Sorry if things sounded too scientific there. It was the physicist in me ;) Feel free to ask me if you have any sort of questions.

I'm focusing back on this fic for now and then go back to write The Moon Fortress. I don't even know what to say except I'm sorry for being so lazy with updates. I get all this ideas and write and try sharing them but literally abandoned my first fic :( thank you all so much for being so patient and supportive.


	8. Chapter 8: Recollection

Chapter WARNING: Graphic description of violence

* * *

 **Chapter 8: Recollection**

The two walked into the cemetery with racing hearts, each for different reasons. Mon-El was proceeding with a lower speed, allowing Kara to get through the tangled wild plants, while keeping his hold on her hand. Partly to sooth his own nerves and partly to make sure of her presence by his side. He was so grateful that she hadn't let go.

"This place… This place feels so… so –" Kara started in awe, completely taken aback with her surroundings.

"Lonely?" Mon-El finished her sentence and watched her giving him a surprised look.

"Yeah, that's exactly what I was gonna to say."

She stopped in front of a mournful angle with bowed head and touched the outline of the incomplete fractured wings.

"This way." Mon-El gave her hand a gentle squeeze to urge her moving. They were losing day light and he didn't wish them to be there when it got dark.

"Didn't you say people used to be buried here?" Kara whispered to him.

"Yeah, no one's been buried here for more than 150 years."

"You sound like you know a lot about this forsaken place."

"I, I used to come here a lot when I was a kid."

"Why? Doesn't this place gives you the hibbie jibbies?!"

"It never did until recently."

Mon-El saw his old family shrine and his heart started pounding because he knew they were getting close. He had absolutely no idea what would happen from this point on and it was terrifying.

The fog was thickening similar to the day the ghost of Kara Danvers had emerged.

By the time they reached the grave, his heart was beating so fast that his ears were ringing. He didn't even know how to form words to begin with his explanation. Maybe this was a terrible idea.

"Mon-El? Is this what you wanted to show me?"

He whipped his head and looked at her bright demanding eyes.

"Yes..." he swallowed hard against the lump in his throat. "This grave belongs to someone special. Kids used to tell horror stories about how this… this wandering spirit haunts people who step on these grounds."

Kara huffed in ridicule with raised brows. "And you brought me here as a dare to test that lore?"

"No Kara. I've been coming here since I was barely eight and never saw anything. But then…" He trailed off hopelessly.

Kara eyed him with expectation and since he refused to talk anymore, she pulled her hand out of his hold to bend forward and read the faded name engraved on the stone.

Mon-El's head was spinning in anticipation. She was frozen for a long time with wide eyes and then the most unimaginable thing happened.

"HAHAHHAHAHAHA!"

Kara's roar of laughter was so loud that a few crows jumped from nearby trees and flew away, croaking in annoyance.

"This is the BEST prank anyone has ever pulled on me!" She brought a hand up and wiped the single happy tear that had formed in the corner of her eye.

Mon-El's face fell. This was a mistake. What did he even expect? At least she wasn't running away screaming.

"This isn't a joke Kara. I've seen this grave and that name for more than twenty years and then just the day before you showed up in Crimsonwood -"

"Let me guess, you saw a ghost? Her ghost?" Kara cut his words, put her hands on her hips and looked at him in contempt.

"I know it sounds crazy and you have every right to doubt me, but you don't understand –"

"What do I not understand Mon-El? That you think I'm her?! A living dead? Oh my God! Is this the reason you've been helping me? To see if I'm a ghost?!" Kara stormed away, obviously disappointed.

Mon-El followed her in haste. This was going to a very bad direction and he needed to explain himself better. "No! That's not true! I didn't help you just because of this! And it's not just about ghosts. I don't believe in them more than you do."

"Then what is this about? Even if what you showed me is real, it doesn't mean anything! It can be all just a coincidence! I am a descendant of Kent's after all." She turned away and picked up the pace in order to put more distance between them.

Mon-El ran after her and reached forward for her wrist. "Kara, please wait."

"Let go of me Mon-El!" She jerked her hand away and Mon-El let it slip immediately, since he didn't wish to harm or scare her any more than he already had.

"You're going in the wrong direction Kara." She stopped at his hushed words then and didn't try to walk away anymore.

"I've seen enough today, please take me back to the hotel." Her tone was cold and disappointed and it broke his heart deeper than any knife could.

"Yes, of course. I'm sorry about all this." He murmured in defeat turned around in the direction of the exit. "I just thought maybe all these had a meaning and I'm not losing my mind, but obviously I've been wrong."

"What do you mean?"

Kara sounded calmer and that gave him enough courage to open up again, feeling hopeful.

"I keep seeing things… I keep having very unusual realistic dreams about my ancestor who I'm named after, with this woman with blue eyes who looks exactly like you."

Kara blushed. "Look, I know you're going through a hard time in your life right now and can't sleep well at nights, so it's normal if you feel pushed to your limits. But you just said it yourself. They're just some dreams! You see me and yourself in them and think they're us."

She must had been thinking Mon-El had gotten confused and deranged. She also obviously had gotten the wrong idea that he had feelings for her.

Was she wrong though? He himself didn't knew what he felt exactly anymore. Maybe he really was losing his mind.

"That painting in Mr. Kent's library room. Do you remember that?"

"The portrait of that girl you mean?" Kara gave him a puzzled look.

"Yes! Didn't you notice?"

"Notice what?!"

"Your striking resemblance to the person in the painting?!" Mon-El couldn't understand how she had missed that.

Kara pressed her lips together firmly and stared at him strangely. "As far as I saw, there was no striking resemblance! Yes, maybe we happen to share the same eye color and both have blonde hair, but that's it!" She seemed very annoyed by his insinuation.

Mon-El didn't argue with her anymore as he was getting doubtful himself as well. For all his life, what he could see with his own eyes and then capturing his vision with the help of cameras has been his most trusted sense. Now, for the first time he was getting the feeling that maybe he shouldn't rely on his sight that vehemently anymore.

They kept walking in silence. Mon-El focused on finding the way while the fog was obscuring their path and the daylight was dying on them, making the task more difficult.

Mon-El felt a searing pain in his upper arm where Kara had suddenly dug her nails in. He was about to protest, but seeing her horrified face with wide eyes gaping to their right stopped him.

"Mon-El? Wh- Who's that?" Her murmuring, terrified words barely made it to his ears. He followed her line of sight and felt his heart start beating a million miles per hour.

Amongst the fog, about fifteen yards away, a haunted figure was standing near a dead willow with her back to them.

Mon-El knew that dress, recognized that straw hat, had seen it glowing under the summer sunshine in a vivid dream.

It didn't look beautiful anymore. The hat was in shreds, the dress was now ragged and soiled and her flowing locks of hair looked pale and ancient, reminiscing dead leaves hanging from the willow.

"That's her." He whispered back to Kara who was still clutching at his bicep so hard that it was throbbing.

"NO!" She choked with a grimace. "Stop messing with me Mon-El! Enough with this!" She yelled at him, her face red. Mon-El shook his head repeatedly. "I swear it's not me Kara!"

Kara huffed in disgust at him and withdrew her hand, before turning on her heels and, to Mon-El's disbelief, walked towards the lonely wandering ghost.

"Kara! NO! STOP!"

Mon-El broke into sprint, not exactly knowing what he feared of happening.

"HEY! WHO ARE YOU?" Kara shouted at the top of her voice, not caring how unnecessarily loud she was.

Mon-El couldn't take his eyes off the scene before him. Since the mute unmoving figure never answered, Kara reached forward to touch the shoulder and instantly dropped her hand when the figure finally stirred.

So slowly that it made the air drain from their lungs and their eyes to water.

Mon-El expected the same lifeless white sheet face with dazzling blue eyes, just as he once had seen, but what manifested shook him to his core.

Most part of the face was gone, leaving nothing but a bare skull, making her look as if she were giving them a mocking deathly grin that made blood run cold in his veins. With the dark hole in the place where her right eye should have been, and the other eye that was shining azure, so contradictory to anything else her dead rotten beings stood for, she pierced them with her freaky stare.

Kara gasped loudly and Mon-El saw her growing stiff visibly and then shivering. She was fear-struck.

And then the ghost opened her mouth. Her one working eye locking on him.

"…Mon-El…"

Mon-El felt his legs trembling and sharp pain blossomed in his heart. He clutched his chest involuntarily as a grunt escaped his lips. Despite his dazed state, he noticed in surprise how the ghost mimicked his move, clutching her chest with a hand that was not covered by any skin or flesh, nothing but naked yellow finger bones.

The moment she pressed the slim bonny fingers to the pain erupting spot, blood oozed from it, soaking through the flimsy, eroding fabric. Her other hand which was surprisingly not skinless, rose towards him as if pleading with him.

The duo hit the ground hard simultaneously, causing Kara to jump in surprise and shout things he could hear no more. He felt the living Kara's warm hands grabbing his shoulders and shaking him. He wanted to say something, but he couldn't move a finger. He was paralyzed under the pain with his eyes locked onto the fading body laying across from him. The phantom sank into the frosty ground beneath her as though she was being drowned into a quicksand and disappeared.

"Mon-El! Stay with me!"

He heard her frantic trembling and begging voice as his vision vibrated, transformed and everything darkened as if the veil of night had suddenly been draped over the cemetery sooner that it should have, and the scenery morphed into a wooden cabin, constantly moving and cricking in rhythm with the heavy hooves thumping against the ground.

Mon-El was no longer lying down, but seated inside a couch, riding into the night.

As if watching a movie or a dream, he had no control over his body or thoughts anymore.

* * *

 _He turned his troubled gaze from the swiftly passing rows of blurred, dark and tangled frozen trees towards the young woman, who was sitting all too quietly across from him. He observed how she was biting on her rosy bottom lip in contemplation, a too familiar gesture these past few weeks._

 _Her right hand was engaged by thoughtlessly stroking over the head of a black cat that was napping across her lap, completely oblivious to the two distraught and silent humans next to him. What a lucky creature he was. Mon-El thought to himself. What a simple life he led. Never needing to worry about tomorrow, or a reason to stress over the possibility of your mother turning into a demonic entity if she were to learn about your contradictory acts to her appeals._

 _And now the road was stretching ahead of them with two paths to choose. Tonight. Under the stars._

 _One would bring an end to their journey, to their everything, leaving them in peaceful lives as everyone approved. A soulless and tasteless life only to fit in society and fulfilling their duties._

 _And the other was the most daunting act they could ever perform in their young lives and would set them free from all the consequences, yet leave them unsupported and exposed for what laid ahead._

 _His deep sigh made Kara turn her attention towards him. The other unoccupied pale hand reached to squeeze his as her eyes shone doubtfully. Just as his reflected no certainty. They were clueless of the right decision._

 _It was the most difficult night Mon-El had ever experienced during his twenty and one years of life._

 _"Whichever you choose, I shall accept with no conditions." He claimed, utterly disliking the weakness his voice projected in contrast to the meaning behind the words themselves._

 _"Mon-El…" Her call was nearly inaudible amongst the loud horse hooves. Nevertheless he had seen her lips move and therefore there was no mistake at her, pronouncing his name. Along with the presence of the tears shining in her blue majestic orbs._

 _Mon-El added to the pressure of his hold on her cold hand in his, recreating the strength his voice lacked and injecting himself with the courage that he feared would falter at any moment._

 _"I am frightened…" She confessed in absolute honesty, abandoning the constant façade she wore for their sake._

 _"As am I…" He admitted in equal candor as he leaned forward to wipe the tear away from her cheek with his thumb._

 _"If we elope, where shall we go? How would we live?" Kara finally shattered their shell of fear with a solid question._

 _"I have friends in the city of National, whom are willing to help. I can seek a job there as an illustrator." Mon-El outlined his plan for their lives and continued to recite the tasks and necessary equipment needed to be provided in order for their escape from their hometown and start a new life together far from all the constrictions and obstacles that constantly separated them._

 _She nodded in agreement, albeit the hesitation was evident upon her features which he did not consider unfounded. All their plans sounded far easier spoken out than how they could unfold in reality. Too many unknown factors were varying in this equation._

 _"But I do not wish to be parted from my parents and my sister." Another teardrop joined the others as Kara revealed what tormented her most in the way of her decision making. She was ready to let all go for him, except her family which he was perfectly aware how deeply she loved and was devoted to._

 _He could never bring himself to cause her endure such brutal detachment, and that was the true reason he was doubting their plans in the first place._

 _Thus he shook his head. "Of course, I would never wish you to choose between me and your family, Kara." In following he attempted a smile – the best he could manage under such intense emotions – and put a gentle kiss on the back of her hand._

 _"Yet my heart can not bear letting go of you either…"She surprised him by the hand she put over his beard covered face and caressed sweetly with such affection written over her expression, as though this was the last time she was laying eyes on him. The profoundness of her gaze brought tears to his own eyes._

 _"Kara…I -"_

 _His confession of equal and eternal love was cut short due to the sudden shake of their carriage which had abruptly come to a full stop, accompanied by loud horse whines and the coachman's yells. The aggressive motion threw Kara forward into his body where she collided into his chest with a loud gasp and Streaky hissed in complain as he slipped down to the wooden flooring with an angry groan._

 _Mon-El had instinctively wrapped his arms securely around her midsection to absorb the impact and keep her from any harm._

 _"Kara! Are you well?!"_

 _He inquired frantically, but fortunately she raised her head instantly and nodded._

 _"Yes, I am alright. What happened?"_

 _Mon-El helped Kara sit back on her seat prior to stretching his head through th e small window in search of their coachman._

 _"Mr. Vincent? Why have we stopped Sir?"_

 _Strangely no reply came. Mon-El looked back to the slightly alarmed maiden seated back in the cab and put a hand on her knee._

 _"Please, wait as I go inspect the problem."_

 _"Mon-El –"_

 _"Please remain inside Kara, I insist!"_

 _He repeated himself in a more strict tone which caused the young lady to sigh in a reluctant acceptance. "Alright! I shall wait here with Streaky." She then rolled her eyes and pulled the irritated cat back onto her lap._

 _Mon-El caressed the side of her face gingerly in reassurance and relieved of her safety, stepped into the stinging cold February night to find the reason behind their unplanned halt._

 _"Mr. Vincent?" He asked once more upon seeing his leather chair vacated and it was only then when he noticed the massive log that had blocked the road._

 _Mon-El felt his heartbeats quicken as his mind were solving the mystery that related the events._

 _This was by no means a coincidence. Malicious hands were behind this._

 _Fear crept inside him as his eyes threaded the dark scenery. Silence only interrupted by nervous thumps of horse hooves and their occasional neighs._

 _There was absolutely no sign of any other movement in the woods as far as his eyes could detect._

 _In contempt of his rising sense of danger that tempted him to stay and investigate further, Kara's safety was on the forefront of his priorities and therefore his feet sat him into spontaneous motion to bring himself back to her._

 _Merely a feet left to his destination, a victorious laughter echoed into the space and ceased his progression involuntarily._

 _Mon-El revolved on the spot to face the intruder._

 _The pitch black tall silhouette with a top hat and a cane led him to no clue in finding his identity._

 _The man seemed apparently satisfied by how he had captivated Mon-El's full attention to himself and proceeded to applause. His mockery claps sounded unusually shallow against the leather gloves covering the palms of the stranger._

 _"I do admit, you fooled us for quite some time, Mon-El!"_

 _The familiarity of the voice created a new set of fears in Mon-El. The sense only helped intensifying his concerns for the defenseless woman waiting in the carriage. The circumstances were far more dreadful than he had anticipated._

 _"Lex Luthor!" Mon-El barked the name as though it tasted acidic against his tongue._

 _"It is Lord Luthor to you!" The young privileged Luthor pompously corrected as he intelligently chose that moment to step forward into a patch of moonlight which caused his crooked face to appear eerily white, similar to a ghost completed by a devilish smile._

 _Mon-El was close to reciprocate, yet a female call prevented him from doing so._

 _"Mon-El? Please do tell, what is the matter?"_

 _He was certain his heart had descended as low as his boots since his hopes of keeping Kara's presence in the cabin a secret as long as possible, were demolished way too soon._

 _"Miss Danvers, I beg you not to join me. This does not concern you!"_

 _Mon-El finished his reply by giving the vicious man before him a sharp glare, one equivalent of a death threat._

 _"Oh how rude of you Mon-El! Where have your manners gone? A gentleman never denies a Lady a decent answer!"_

 _"Do not cross the line with me Lex! Spare the Lady from this!"_

 _To Mon-El's satisfaction, the constant smile on Alexander's face was wiped away at hearing him making the same mistake as before by calling him with his childhood nickname._

 _"You already have crossed the line too far you dog of the Gand! How dare you speak to me so poorly, ordering me and mistaking me with your equal!"_

 _The venom in the Luthor's words and the insanity burning in his soulless grey eyes made Mon-El remorseful immediately._

 _With a flick of his hand, Lex gestured to an invisible person, hiding in plain sight against the darkness, and an oddly shaped figure emerged as they trudged forward. Within seconds, Mon-El recognized their lost coachman, Mr. Vincent, being held by a knife pressed against his throat and a rag hindering his shouts from being heard. Mon-El did not fail to notice the horror that the poor elderly man's eyes radiated._

 _"Mr. Vincent! Let go of him this instant!"_

 _Mon-El strode in full wrath towards the bulky man whom had captured the innocent coachman. Yet the alarming voice dire cted from the carriage stopped him once more, filling his heart with such intense fear that he had never felt the likes before._

 _"DO NOT TOUCH ME!"_

 _Mon-El rushed to where Kara was instead. His heart must have stopped sending blood to his organs long ago._

 _He heard a cat growl angrily prior to a loud grunt of pain was heard._

 _"BALLS!" A rough male voice grumbled in irritation, before a clear sickening thump resonated in the air and Mon-El reached the scene just then to witness Streaky moaning in agony after being hit on the head in cold blood by a club._

 _The dark cat dropped motionless and mute between Kara in the cabin and that hooligan._

 _The loyal pet Mon-El had saved from starvation when he were merely a kitten, had stopped that man from taking Kara captive like their unfortunate coachman, and in doing so he had given his life._

 _Kara clasped a hand over her mouth to stifle a cry, yet the horrified scream she let out next was so appalling that all the hair on Mon-El's body stood on their ends._

 _"YOU BASTARD!"_

 _Mon-El leaped forward with a mind set to avenge the deceased animal and stop that heartless man from laying his dirty hands on his love._

 _Sadly the sudden blow to his head from an unknown source behind him and alien hands wrapping around him subsequently, yet again interrupted his actions._

 _Another cry from Kara sliced through the air. "MON-EL!"_

 _Completely disoriented thank to the assault to his head, Mon-El struggled vigorously in the clutch of his assailant as he was being dragged farther and farther away._

 _"Mon-El!" Kara frantically shout his name one more time in sheer fright. Her hands were gripping at the wooden frame of the door, prepared to exit the vehicle and come to his aid._

 _"NO! KARA RUN!"_

 _She gasped loud at his desperate plea with rings of tears shimmering in her eyes in the darkness. Mon-El already was aware of her stubbornness. Aware that she would never flee. Never would leave his side._

 _And while the virtue was amongst the many things that he cherished and caused him to f all in love with her, at that specific moment, he tragically resented this fidelity which could put her in harm's way._

 _And so Kara did not move a muscle after hearing his clear order to escape and save herself._

 _Although the man whom had previously tried to capture her and was only momentarily delayed by that poor animal, had not abandoned his position and did not leave any other choice for her to become the third hostage not long afterwards._

 _To Mon-El's astonishment, Kara did not resist much, nor did she cried or shed a single tear any further. She had only eyes for him._

 _He did not end their eye contact as a thick rope was tied around his hands harshly, restricting his movements while being held by the most colossal goon he had ever seen._

 _To his relief – which had such different concept in the midst of this ghastly affair – the invaders did not attempt to put any restrictions on Kara and she simply was trapped by an iron grip around her arm._

 _The couple were pulled into the road before the two horses and behind the huge log that had interfered, forming a triangle with the man who was the first born of the Luthor's house hold, as its highest vertex. A good ten yards was between each._

 _The only source of any light at this scenery, was the unsteady weak orange beams produced by the lantern resting next to coachman's seat on the carriage._

 _Small fogs of their breaths kept releasing and swirling into nothingness against the bitter cold._

 _"Oh, how honored I am that you graced us with your presence Miss Danvers!"_

 _"What is the meaning of this Mr. Luthor?"_

 _Mon-El praised the firmness of her voice, despite the miniscule flicker of fear only he recognized glittering in her eyes._

 _"Nothing to worry about my dear Miss Danvers, merely two old pals whom are trying to salvage their friendship."_

 _The crinkle that appeared between Kara's eyebrows told Mon-El of her confusion and he knew the reason. Mon-El had never brought himself as low as Alexander Luthor. He would never name the relationship a friendship. It was quite the opposite in fact. Their parents might be very close, her mother to be more specific, yet Mon-El had no desire in furthering their closeness upon finding the horrific rumors which Lex had associated himself with._

 _As an example, Mon-El very much suspected Lex Luthor to have been behind the death of Martha Kent in the flames that devoured many acres of Kent's farms about five years ago._

 _Hence Mon-El chose his next words cautiously._

 _"This matter only concerns us then Lord Luthor. Let the lady return to her home safely with Mr. Vincent and we shall continue this discussion as long as you wish."_

 _He was mindful of addressing him the way he pleased, in order to minimize the probability of his outburst._

 _"Come now, Mon-El! I'm quite sure Miss Danvers would love to know about our conversation! Wouldn't you Miss Danvers? Or would you rather seek dullness and leave us to be home, while this matter clearly requires your attention?"_

 _"I do not understand what you are implying Sir!"_

 _Luthor did not reply the lady right away and walked forward a few paces, casting a shadow that hid his features under the veil of night just as before._

 _"It has come to my attention that the two of you have been spending quite a lot of time in each other's company."_

 _The triangle was smaller at this moment, contradicting the fear in them which was growing bigger in volume._

 _Nevertheless Mon-El attempted to reign in the situation._

 _"If you are referring to our numerous meetings, I can clarify the ordeal to ease your mind and guide you away from misunderstandings." Mon-El wet his very dry lips before picking up on his explanation. "You see, I and Miss Danvers have been sharing the same interest in observing the night sky and I have recently been fortunate enough to come upon a telescope on my last journey to the north. This tool assists us in following our passion in a far more satisfying manner and tonight we had the opportunity of witnessing the appearance of Eria comet as Lord J'onzz had predicted in his notes."_

 _Not a single word in his speech was stray from the truth. Even if it didn't hold the whole had been just returning from their latest stargazing, experiencing profound wonderment and marveled by the sight of the bright Eria comet behind the lens of the telescope which Mon-El had bought as a gift for Kara's eighteenth birthday, from a genius clockmaker named Winslow Schott in the City of Nationals in his last visit there. The two gentlemen had instantly become friends after his visit and he was the person Mon-El had been relying on, in their plans of fleeing Crimsonwood._

 _All through his speak, Luthor did not interrupt even once, but somehow the gesture did not carry any sign of goodness within._

 _As though to prove his beliefs, Alexander scuffed._

 _"So is this the nicely crafted story you have been misleading everyone with? I had expected far better from a Gand!"_

 _He regarded him from feet to head in utter revulsion and walked to stand in front of Kara and towered over her with his full height._

 _His gallant Kara did not shrink from his fixated cold glare._

 _"Sir, if you are suggesting an affair between me and Mr. Gand, I'm afraid I have to correct you and convince you of your misplaced notion! Our only aim had been sharing this activity in our leisure time and not anything else."_

 _"Oh so you would cruelly deny all the feelings you have developed for him? I thought the Danvers had prepared you better against such obvious seductions."_

 _Mon-El fully saw the flare of astonishment in her eyes at the suddenness of the claim which in part had caused his heart rate to once again spike._

 _"I do not know of what you are speaking Sir!"_

 _Luthor brought one hand upwards to stroke Kara's face and tucked the loose strand of hair behind her ear and she immediately recoiled. That instantly made Mon-El to start pushing against his restrains and the pawn who had been charged to keep him locked in place._

 _"Do not touch her Luthor!"_

 _The wide smirk that appeared on the bald man's face was a triumphant one. This had been the reaction he had been planning to elicit all along._

 _"You ignorant younglings. You can not disguise your foolishness with such petty lies!"_

 _The sneer turned serious when Lex walked to continue with his revelation to Mon-El._

 _"Need I remind you how skilled I am in disclosing secrets and hidden intentions, Mon-El Michael Gand?" He raised the cane he had been holding in his clutches this whole time and tapped it against Mon-El's head which gravely irrigated him. Nonetheless Mon-El held back his rage for Kara's sake._

 _"I beg your pardon Lord Luthor, but you are mistaken this time. You have -"_

 _"Have you forgotten your duties Gand?" Alexander boomed loudly over his inconvenient reasoning and inserted an aurora of dread into the already icy air around them._

 _"When are you finished with your childish plays? You are betrothed to my sister and yet I see you fooling around playing Romeo with other maidens! A Danvers no less!"_

 _The fact was no news to him, neither to Kara. By Mon-El's parents, he had been promised to wed Lena Luther at the age of twenty since he was merely a boy of ten. An arranged marriage without taking into consideration any of his preferences._

 _Unexpectedly Lex hit Mon-El in the face with the hilt of the cane and drew a painful gasp out of him. The spot on his le ft cheek burned sharply._

 _"Mon-El!"_

 _Kara's call was filled with anguish and he saw her struggling to free herself to run to his side. Mon-El was overcome by fury upon seeing her elegant features scrunching as a sign of aching, due to the unnecessary tight grip that man was inflicting on her delicate arm._

 _"I am alright!" He promised to calm her twitching and prevent injuries. How he was regretting everything. He would never forgive himself if anything happened to Kara._

 _Mon-El felt a liquid prickle against the wound on his cheek. Doubtlessly it was blood and the sight must have truly shaken Kara with apprehension._

 _"I beg you Sir! Stop hurting him!" The quiver in her voice was very noticeable. Mon-El felt his heart trembling hard at hearing her defending him in such state of vulnerability._

 _Luthor distanced himself from Mon-El only to laugh dryly once more._

 _He then slowly reached into his coat and brought out what Mon-El could not distinguish in this poor lighting._

 _Mon-El then clearly heard the soft clicking sound against the silent night. Only then the realization dawned on him, connecting the sound to its origins and he could perfectly picture the mortal metallic device in his mind._

 _Soon he was looking into the barrel of a shiny pistol that was aiming for his head._

 _Mon-El felt the thug who had been holding him, pushing heavily onto his shoulders and at his state of shock, his legs bent effortlessly and he was kneeling, at ready to be shoot at._

 _"NO!"_

 _Kara's wail rang through the forest and agitated the horses._

 _The two sensitive creatures whined in unison, sensing the young woman's distress as their heads pulled against their harnesses and their hooves repeatedly stumped the spot in front of them in anxiousness._

 _Mon-El could register her shallow scared pants, yet he could not take his eyes away from the vengeful man standing over him._

 _Mon-El wondered endlessly as to why it had come to this extreme conclusion and he could not stop asking the mad man the same question._

 _"Why!? What have I done to deserve this?! In what part of this ungodly action do you find justice and honor? Are you wishing your soon to be brother-in-law dead?"_

 _Even if the last thing he ever wanted in his life was to be brothers with this wicked man, he put in the words only for their effect._

 _The cold lifeless barrel touched his forehead._

 _Strangely a calmness had washed him over and his ears could not pick up any other sound, even Kara's frightful pleas to spare his life._

 _The tense moment creeped along without a word or action until Alexander pulled away without providing him with a reply instead aimed the gun at Kara._

 _"NO! STOP! STOP! I BEG YOU!"_

 _Mon-El couldn't breathe. He fought against the steel hands on his shoulders futilely, his voice hoarse and raw. Cold as the horror he was feeling._

 _Lex turned the head of the pistol downward with a bemused smile and in exchange gave him one last warning._

 _"Consider this my last admonition Mon-El. If I ever find you fooling around with her like an idiotic adolescent, I will end her and then you."_

 _Mon-El let go of the breath he had been holding and immeditaly was able to hear anew Kara's quiet hysteric weeping._

 _He believed the worse was over. Lex had shown him his cards and pretty much done with his show of terror. Perhaps this night could end right then without any fatalities._

 _He could not had been more mistaken._

 _To his dying breath, whether in awakens or sleep, Mon-El was haunted by the memory of this sinister night._

 _He heard a shout first._

 _Mr. Vincent had finally broke loose of his capturer and was fighting over the dominance of the subtle knife, previously threatening him. He momentarily overcame his foe and came in the possession of the dagger. He slashed it in front of the bulky man and forced him many steps backwards until he tripped and fell down._

 _The scene had absorbed attention from all the corners. Mon-El used the distraction to his advantage and glanced over to Kara whom was the closest to the fight. Her capturer seemed immersed in the commotion and the moment his partner collapsed, he let go of Kara's arm to run and help. She wobbled on her feet, too affected by the gravity of passing events. Her eyes followed the brawl and the shivers that rattled her body were visible to Mon-El even from that distance._

 _"Kara!" He called urgently to make look away from the savagery and encourage her to shift farther and away, while he did not possessed enough power set himself free._

 _She could not hear her, thus he repeated louder. "KARA!"_

 _Mr. Vincent screamed loudly in sheer agony. Mon-El's heart stopped as his eyes once more mo ved back to the scene and he found the elderly man clutching his abdomen where the hilt of the dagger could be seen lodged in it._

 _Blood ran cold in his veins._

 _The old man mistakenly pulled at the knife and removed it with anther excruciating cry and caused blood spray out from the now open wound and made the most unpleasant picture._

 _Kara whimpered heavily as her legs gave out under her and caused her to fall onto her knees._

 _Meanwhile the horses started trashing and neighing in panic as though they had perceived the severity of the situation and the death of their master._

 _The lantern was thrown off and shattered into pieces against hard ground. The crimson flames spread around to a limited amount, cascading over the field of view ominously._

 _Kara was in hazardous vicinity of the rampaging horses and Mon-El dreaded she would soon be trampled under their frenzy._

 _He could not tolerate this any longer. With regained determination, Mon-El threw his elbow back into the groin of the giant stoic man behind him. The action successfully knocked the wind out of him for a very brief time in which his hand loosened from around his shoulders and provided him the chance needed to break out and with mighty blows from his knee he managed to subdue the man and bought himself some time to get himself to Kara's side._

 _"Kara move!"_

 _He grabbed hold of her hands through the ropes with his own and tried to pull her onto her feet as she felt unresponsive and daz ed . His eyes were watchful of the horses as he kept his crouched posture._

 _"I beg you Kara! You need to move or we shall be perished by these wild animals!"_

 _Kara at that moment found her strength and complied wordlessly. As soon as they put distance between themselves and the four legged animals, Mon-El looked around them cautiously. His capturer was still lying down and struggling to move his enormous body mass. Moreover, he could not locate the Luthor. The bastard had disappeared the first chance he had gotten._

 _A glance to his left confirmed that Mr. Vincent had bravely incapacitated both of the bandits at the price of his own life. His death weight gravely on his heart. Nevertheless there was not a moment to hesitate and time to leave._

 _The fearful blonde tugged on Mon-El's restrains and attempted to release his hands. Her soft hands yanked diligently, albeit in vain._

 _"I apologies! These are too stiff!" Fresh tears were once more gathering in her angelic eyes mingling with recently shed ones on her cheeks. Her voice cracking and wavering._

 _The shame that engulfed Mon-El at the sight, was immeasurable._

 _Mon-El pulled his hands out of her cold ones that were injuring themselves in the procedure and held them in his. Kara withdrew one and used to caress against his bruised and slightly bleeding face, expression tightened in vexation and lips trembling nonstop._

 _"Look at me."_

 _At his words, her frantic wide gaze connected with his and M on-El endeavored to convey a semblance of calmness into her by leaning his forehead to hers._

 _"We need to leave now."_

 _Kara nodded in agreement and the duo started walking from beside the faint dying fire that had initiated from the broken lantern. Merely after taking a few steps, Mon-El noticed Kara bending down and picking something up._

 _The glitter dancing on the shiny minute object told Mon-El of its composition. It was a shard of glass._

 _With exhales of excitement, Kara began to cut into the ropes and strived to end his confinement as fast as she could._

 _She was hardly finished when someone leaped onto him and took away his balance._

 _The blow to the floor took his sight and mobility temporarily._

 _The moment his senses returned, he identified Kara standing between his defenseless figure and the beast whom had been charged to hold Mon-El detained. He had recovered from the pain and was looming over them with a blood stained and wrath ridden face. Mon-El had broken his nose._

 _"Do not step any closer you monster!" Kara shout, not a hint of scare fear in her voice._

 _Mon-El felt his insides turning into ash as that insolent inhuman stroke Kara on the face with a hard slap and she was hurled to a side and collapsed against a tree trunk with a hurt filled moan._

 _The blood boiled inside Mon-El veins, fueling by his rage and with a savage roar he tore throw the remaining ropes and tackled the giant with all his might._

 _Mon-El rained his fists continuously on his thick skull, not allowing him a moment to retaliate._

 _No man shall walk away unharmed after raising their hand over his Kara._

 _They brawled for some more minutes, however the man was more of a boulder than a natural human to be affected by his blows and soon Mon-El found himself in a choke hold. All air was deserting his lungs and breams of his sight shifted into total blackness._

 _"LET GO OF HIM NOW!"_

 _Kara's clear command shortly followed by a booming sound which ended the unfair wrestling. Once more Mon-El could breathe freely and immediately searched to find the source of the blast._

 _The attacker was yelping and squirming in suffering beside him and clutching his shoulder. The liquid that was leaking from between his fingers, reflected dark and red by against the flames._

 _Mon-El turned his head in complete disbelief and watched Kara holding a pistol in her both convulsing hands. A swirl of white smock scattered upwards from the head of the slim cylindrical metal and faded away. He noticed as well the cut on her forehead._

 _"Kara…" His voice barely above a whisper. He was seemingly paralyzed under the power of realization._

 _The man was still grunting in pain. Yet the menacing look in his dark eyes stood unchanged. He resembled a wounded bear and Mon-El sensed danger waiting for them and the anticipation returned him the ability to move his limbs again and he rushed to pull Kara away._

 _"I…I did… I did not mean to…"_

 _She was shuddering uncontrollably from head to toe, utterly shocked by her own violent action._

 _"It's alright dear. You saved my life. Put this away now." Mon-El covered over her still risen hands with his own and made an effort to convince her to give up on the gun._

 _"Kara, please let go of the pistol!" Mon-El asked her when her fingers did not unwrapped from around the ugly device. He had absolutely no idea where she had found it. All that mattered was the fact that she was more or less unharmed._

 _For years upon years, every day, Mon-El wished upon wishes that he had never convinced Kara of abandoning the weapon._

 _And that he had never turned his back to his enemy, while only Kara had visual of him._

 _"MON-EL!"_

 _The world seemed to be moving much faster than he could comprehend. One moment he was holding onto Kara's waist and could see her eyes widening in sheer terror and the next moment he was pushed away to the ground as another loud discharge echoed into the frosty air, bouncing against the trees._

 _"NOOOOOOOO!"_

 _She fell onto the frozen snow by the road._

 _A secondary gunshot made Mon-El's eyes jump towards the new intruder and he recognized Lex Luthor reappearing with his own pistol raised and that thug was lying unmoving for good this time. A gun rolled out of his dead hand and clattered against the floor._

 _"Morons. I said no one touches the Gand boy." Was what he whispered before striding away without even glancing back at him or –_

 _"KARA!"_

 _Mon-El collapsed next to her on his knees and pulled her heavily panting and limp body into his arms._

 _A dark stain on her chest was expanding rapidly over the white fabric covering there._

 _The scene abruptly sparked a distant childhood memory, in which he had once spilled a bottle of red ink over the colorless sheets of his bed._

 _Just like then, the mark was magnifying and spreading, but unlike then it never slowed and Mon-El felt everything stop spinning._

 _Time, Space and cognition._

 _And then all crumbled._

 _Everything, but her depthless and uneven breaths._

 _Kara's head was resting on his lap, her eyes blinking and brighter than he had ever seen. Ironically they reminded him of the Eria comet they had just gazed upon. The nearing end had gifted her by an unparalleled clarity. One which she was willing to share by her constant stare._

 _One hand was stroking her hair while the other uselessly tried to cover the open bullet wound and halt the bleeding._

 _"Mon-El…" She mumbled and Mon-El ignored the stream of blood that spilled from the corner of her mouth. The true meaning behind the spell of his name was ambiguous to him._

 _Her hand came to rest on his that was drowning in the sea of blood over her heart. She scrambled around and he could not understand what she searched for._

 _The teardrops falling and fusing into the pouring crimson fluid under his fingers, took him by surprise. He had not even realized he had begun crying._

 _"Take…this…"_

 _Her hands were slippery and slicky with blood._

 _So much blood…_

 _Mon-El mindlessly accepted the offering, already mindful of the necklace. She was trusting him with her most treasured possession._

 _"Kara…" The words at last broke free from under the unbearable barrier in his throat. He could not recognize his own voice._

 _"I love… you…" Her tears were now rolling down her cheeks and into her hair. The three words hit him like tidal waves, rendering him speechless. "I should have… told you sooner…"_

 _Every words was now a feat. She began coughing and seizing, her body overwhelmed by the shock, following loss of pints of blood._

 _"Shhh… please don't" Mon-El sobbed, his own body rattling by shivers. "Please do not say goodbye Kara. I will save you. I will -"_

 _He finally jerked his eyes away from Kara and looked around himself. The fire had extinguished and had left the view dimmer than before. He spotted the horses still bounded to the carriage. He could put Kara inside and ride them to –_

 _But the road was yet to be rid of that damned log, handy work of Luthor. Behind them was nothing but free lands of the outskirts of Crimsonwood. He would not be able to any find help there._

 _"Mon-El…" Her weak fingers brushed against his face and demanded his attention which he gave instantly._

 _"You made me so happy." The smile that appeared on her face then was the most genuine one he had laid eyes on._

 _"I love you." Mon-El whimpered the only words he could bring himself to express and leaned down to put one last kiss on her lips, their faces both covered in tears. "I promise, I'll be the man you thought I could be."_

 _They looked into each other's eyes in silence as he listened to her wavering exhales and gasps._

 _Barely a minute afterwards, Kara's eyes closed on their own accord. Her body limp and cold. Almost hollow._

 _Mon-El held onto her tighter._

 _"Kara?" He shook her shoulders._

 _She did not respond._

 _"Kara?" His voice shattered and broke._

 _She did not open her eyes._

 _"KARA!" His cry carried to the skies._

 _She was not breathing…_


	9. Chapter 9: Reunion

**Chapter 9: Reunion**

The memory faded and the pain in his chest vanished as quickly as it had appeared. His senses came back slowly. Mon-El was folded into a fetal position and couldn't hold back the whimpers that escaped him. His posture reminiscing that of a fetus in its mother's womb.

Mon-El had no understanding of the passage of time until he could finally move again, and even then, the hurt in his soul hadn't lessened a bit. That was why the first thing he searched for was Kara, but became fearful when he didn't find her there like she had been before the visions had taken him under and it was completely dark now.

"Kara?" His broken voice died into the misty and abandoned cemetery with no echo.

His mind was feverish and he could no longer comprehend his own actions when he stumbled forward in a random direction to find Kara. Where could she be? Who was he? Where was he? What time it was? What year?

He had lost his identity. Nothing no longer made any sense. Nothing, but one person.

"KARA!"

He shouted her name as loud as he could, with everything he had, as if she were his lifeline, the one notion that was keeping his quickly crumbling mind from complete annihilation.

He was close to collapsing when he saw something moving. The black cat pinned him to the ground with his bright emeral narrow slit eyes sitting on a tilted cross of an unknown tombstone.

"Streaky…"

He almost fell to his knees as he finally remembered who that cat was and what he meant to him. Streaky on the other hand didn't acknowledge him and only jumped down and walked away.

"Wait."

Mon-El followed him with regained strength. The cat paused for a moment to glance back at him before resuming his track. It seemed he wanted Mon-El to pursue him.

Even though he knew how stupid it was to expect an answer from the shadow of an animal, he couldn't stop himself when he asked. "Do you know where Kara is?"

For the next ten minutes or what felt like hours, Mon-El walked, ran and tripped in his haste until suddenly the cat disappeared.

"Streaky?" He was panicking in the darkness. His fear gave its place to frustration as he angrily looked around to see where he was. Then he saw an exposed figure curled onto her side on the ground merely a few feet from himself. A shadow was standing above her shaking body.

"You…"

It was him. He would know that face anywhere.

Mon-El Michael Gand

It was himself in a captain uniform and a full beard, just as he was the day he had died.

He had died?

Mon-El stopped breathing when the shadow looked over his direction with a mournful expression. Eyes dark and face fallen and ashen. They stared into each other's eyes and it was like looking into a mirror or an out of body experience.

Then the specter came at him so fast that he had no chance of reacting. It walked, or rather floated, right into him without ever crashing as though he was made of air and became one with him.

Mon-El fell down to his knees, griping his head as waves of emotions and memories attacked him, causing a whiplash. All the weight of his grief and things that had happened to him came back fully, shaking him to his core.

Mon-El felt his sanity tearing apart as he shouted out loud.

He crawled to Kara's side with violently trembling hands and new tears streaming down his face.

"Kara…" He whimpered her name as he tenderly turned her head to finally see her face in the light of the memories he had regained. It was too much. Her eyes were closed shut. The glasses were gone and she looked just as he remembered her. If only she could look at him once again with those blue eyes and end his tormenting memory of her death.

Nothing made sense anymore. His second life was only a faded dream and paled in the face of his vivid newly returned memories and it was beyond confusing, yet all he cared was the fact that he could hold Kara in his arms again.

He couldn't help himself as his eyes immediately looked over to where her heart was and let out a loud sigh of relief when he found her unharmed. The vision of her bleeding body was still sharp in his mind.

He witnessed the rise and fall of her chest and couldn't resist the urge to put his ear to her chest and listened intently with a hold breath.

Thump, thump, thump.

Her heart was beating.

Mon-El nuzzled into her neck to breathe her in and burst into tears when the familiar scent attacked his highly sensitive state of mind.

"Wake up!" He begged her in a broken voice as he tentatively brushed his fingers over the smooth and cold skin of her face and caressed. "Please wake up Kara."

The tremors of her body subsided and slowly but surely her eyelids started to flutter open. Mon-El cried in joy this time, his sight completely blurred by the tears.

"Whe…where am I?" Kara mumbled with unfocused eyes and Mon-El held her closer to himself.

"I got you Kara. I'm right here."

"Mon-El?" Her eyes finally found his and confusion was evident in them.

"Yeah, it's me." he reassured with a hysteric laugh.

When she didn't say anything, concern grew in his chest. "Kara?" His eyes searched hers for any sign. "Are you ok?" Mon-El was aware how badly his voice was shaking, yet he couldn't stop it. Without answering him, Kara suddenly sat straight and his hands slipped from her torso. The action left him feel abandoned and even more worried. "Kara!"

"I…I – please I need to get out of here Mon-El! Please get me back to my hotel!"

Mon-El felt his heart drop at her request. She didn't know. She didn't have her memories back. But why?

"Kara don't you –"

"Please Mon-El! Just stop! Stop with this! I- I don't want to hear it!" She almost screamed as she scrambled to her feet.

There were tears in her eyes now. She looked more lost and terrified than mad. The hurt in her eyes stopped Mon-El from attempting anything else. He couldn't withstand her distress and so he nodded in full resignation and rose to his feet as well.

"This way." Mon-El took the lead as he tried find their way out.

He was dying inside to reach out and hold her hand in his, to just have a connection, even the smallest to convince his crazed mind that she was really alive and right next to him, but Kara obviously was refraining from any touches and had her arms wrapped around herself protectively.

On their way, they didn't run into any other being, living or dead. Solid or shadow, not even streaky. They made it to Mon-El's truck and he helped her to buckle in as she seemed pretty out of it.

What had she seen? Had she seen the same memory Mon-El had? Then why didn't she acknowledge him?

Mon-El walked around the car and slipped into the driver's seat and then he was dumbfounded. He had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do and how to drive the truck!

His heart wouldn't slow down. It had been booming against his ribs since the moment they had stepped into the cemetery and he had no clue what he was going to do. After remembering who he really was, the life he had, the war and everything else, driving a car felt like the most unusual thing he had ever done. His hands remembered the hilt of a sword, its weight, how to swing it, how horrible it felt as he had poked it into an enemy's body, while the leather steering wheel was an alien under his fingers.

He stole glances at Kara to his right and caught her staring at front of her with eyes blown wide and still panting. She seemed completely oblivious to his sudden amnesia.

Mon-El took in some deep breaths and decided to trust his instincts and stop thinking altogether. It was working. Flashes of muscle memory were kicking in and his hand went to ignite the engine when a loud peeping noise made both of them jump out of their skins.

"What is that!?" Mon-El covered his ears as the sound kept piercing his brain.

"It's your phone!" Kara pointed at the rectangular device right in front of him over the console as she eyed him strangely.

His right hand hesitantly reached and picked up the noisy and constantly vibrating object. This was like a nightmare. Why couldn't he remember how to use this!? Mon-El gaped at his phone in sheer panic.

"For God's sake!" Kara finally had enough and grabbed the smartphone away from him and pushed the green button.

"Mon-El?!"

A demanding and persistent female voice filled the car. It was so familiar, yet he couldn't remember again who this was.

"H- Hello?"

"Mon-El? Where the hell are you?! Why don't you answer your phone?"

"I- I was busy…I'd lost my phone."

His voice must have sounded as freaked out as he was feeling because the woman turned soft after hearing him. "Are you hurt dear? Where are you?"

A face finally appeared against his vintage memories. A mother. Not the other cold hearted one, another one. Caring and kind. His mind flooded with a childhood memory of her reading him a book after she tucked him in bed and before putting a light kiss on his forehead while saying goodnight.

"I'm okay mom." Mon-El let out a breath before continuing. "I got held up with friends." His eyes connected with Kara's and she only stared back at him. The call was on speaker so she could hear his mom as well.

His second self was returning steadfastly and it was the most bizarre sensation he had ever experienced. He recalled the lunch with Winn and Eve vaguely. Even though it had been merely hours ago, to him, it felt like a lifetime ago. Or maybe a lifetime afterwards?!

"I'm coming home soon. Don't worry." He ensured his mother before ending the call.

Only then he saw the clock on his lock screen. It was almost midnight! How could they have spent over eight hours in that damned place?! Without hesitation Mon-El started the truck and drove them away in silence.

The empty dark roads kept him on edge. Too similar to that late tragic night. His mouth was so dry.

The moment he stopped the car in front of the Rouge hotel, Kara fiddled with the handle and slipped outside on unsteady feet. Mon-El rushed to the other side.

"Kara!" he held on to her waist. The contact was burning against his skin and made his heart throbbing painfully.

"I'm fine." She informed him in a stern voice and pulled away before watching the jarring look on his face. Without words, Kara walked away and disappeared behind the big golden entrance doors.

Mon-El stood rooted to the ground dejectedly for a full minute, until he was able to move and to find his way back home. His mother was the one who opened the door with teary eyes. She scolded him for being so careless and not letting her know he would be late. His father was long asleep, so he wasn't there to shake his hand at him like he'd usually do. Mon-El only listened and nodded with his eyes downcast. Everything felt not his own and someone else's, even his own mother.

When he finally made it to his room, he saw the window was fixed ,thanks to his father, and dropped himself on the bed without even bothering to take off his dirty clothes. He was covered in soil after lying on the ground. A fact his mother had pointed out amongst other things.

He couldn't stop spiraling. It was all too much and Kara's refusal was the last straw. Mon-El felt his entire consciousness break under the unbearable gravity of the truth. He was detached from reality. He truly felt he had gone insane.

Even so, his body had had enough and he surrendered to the physical weakness and gave in to asleep.

Again that annoying beeping made him bolt harshly awake as though being stricken by lightning. His hands blindly searched around while his brain still seemed not functioning. At last he found the damned phone in his jacket pocket and with squinting eyes looked at the unknown number on the display.

He was half convinced it must be a wrong number and was going to reject the call, yet something in his mind was nagging and curios.

"Hello?"

"….." Only heavy panting could be heard from the other end.

"Who is this?"

"….." The breathing turned into quick gasps.

His heart dropped when he recognized the sound.

"Kara?! What's wrong?"

The call ended abruptly and Mon-El was already on his way out of the house as quietly as possible and towards the truck again, as he redialed the number.

"Pick up, pick up, pick up!" He mumbled. Ten beeps later and still no one was answering. "Shit!"

I shouldn't have left her alone! Mon-El cursed himself as he threw his phone on the passenger seat and stamped on the gas paddle to speed towards the hotel.

He slipped into the hotel lobby and was happy to see no one around. Mon-El jumped over the reception counter and found the huge thick notebook that held the guests' information. He flipped the pages swiftly to get to the last one. There was only one guest since last month on that page.

Kara Danvers – Room 502

He didn't even close the notebook in his hurry to find the room.

Five flights of stair seemed infinite. Of course the elevator had to be out of order over the night in that dingy old place. By the time he reached the fifth floor, Mon-EL had to pause and catch his breath if he didn't want to faint before reaching Kara.

The narrow hallway was in complete darkness. Not even a small lamp was on. Seriously who ran this place and why would they not have at least a dim light always on for emergencies in the middle of night? How was he supposed to find the room?

Fortunately he had his phone with him. He turned on the flashlight mode and cast the light into the passage and almost dropped his phone as the white beams revealed a person standing merely a feet in front of him.

"Jesus Christ!"

He knew that disheveled golden hair by heart. "Kara!"

But the question was, whether this was really her or the ghost? The question almost answered itself when he noticed the clothes she was wearing. The same blouse and dark jeans from earlier. They still had dirt on them just like his. Nevertheless finding out he wasn't dealing with a ghost didn't put his mind at ease since she was staring at him blankly as though in a trance.

"Kara?" He touched her shoulder with his free hand. She didn't even react. Only looking at a spot between his shoulders without blinking even once, her face pale as sheet. Repeating her name didn't prove effective, so he tried moving her. She was really worrying him. What was wrong with her?

What Mon-El didn't expect were the deep growling sound coming from behind him. with a racing heart, he turned his phone flash light to search for the source and his heart almost gave out when the lights casted on a dark dog with bare teeth and coiled on its back legs staring at him with angry eyes.

A black Kanni dog.

"No way in hell!" Mon-El muttered under his breath.

He knew that dog. Had seen an identical one in that old life of his. An image of that dog running in a garden flashed in his mind. A specifically painful memory he always associated with that dog.

* * *

 _Mon-El ran as fast as he could on short legs to get himself as far as possible from the viscous dog that was after him with mean growls, in their own enormous garden. He was barely ten years old._

 _He was out of breath, throat sore and eyes blurry with exhaustion. His feet skidded on the gravel and he hit the floor harshly with great momentum. As expected and anticipated, the big dog reached him in matter of seconds and leaped over his small figure._

 _Mon-El's fear reached its peak so tensely that he was certain his heart would soon fail. He screamed loudly as sharp teeth dug into his forearms that were protecting his face. It wasn't that deep however. Just a tease to scare him. It also helped that his arms were covered by the thick fabric of the coat he was wearing. Mother would be furious if she were to know he had damaged his new garment._

 _An amused laughter echoed around the garden where the chase was taking place. A boyish adolescent voice that occasionally boarded too high and pitch due to youthfulness before shifting to bass and matured._

 _Alexander Luthor, the fifteen year old boy who enjoyed watching others in pain and fear, and preferred it much better when he was the one inflicting them. Every time the young Luthor came over to their mansion in company with his parents, he would torment Mon-El in any way he could think of and this time had been no exception. This time he had decided to set his newly trained dog onto Mon-El._

 _"Good girl! Good girl!"_

 _He praised the loyal creature for her cruelty and encouraged her to rip into Mon-El's coat deeper._

 _"LEX! YOU ASS!"_

 _A girl shouted the name in rage as she ran past him to grab onto the collar of the dog to drag him away from Mon-El who was about to faint at this point._

 _"Bugger off Lena! You ruined the fun!" Lex whined._

 _Mon-El was trembling from head to toe, clothes shredded and soiled with dirt and a little amount of blood, and face wet with tears. The miserable sight of him trying to stand up on shaking legs apparently was another source of amusement to Alexander who threw his head back, his curly dark red hair waving as roars of laughter rattled his body._

 _Meanwhile his sister was struggling to keep the barking dog away from Mon-El with all her might. Lena – with only one year over him – stared at him ruefully and Mon-El saw the pity shining in her green eyes._

 _Anger boiled in his veins, giving him power enough to overcome the shock and pain. No one should dare to pity Mon-El Gand. Especially not a Luthor._

 _Mon-El broke into run once more, wiping the tears vengefully, aiming for the trees at the edge of the garden and behind the dried fountain decorated with cupids. His usual hiding place that no soul knew about._

* * *

Mon-El blinked a few times, letting the shock of seeing that dog in this narrow hotel hallway in the dead of night after two centuries, settle in, before doubting his mind and took a cautious step backwards.

"Kara I think we should –"

When he turned his head around to glance at Kara behind him, he saw another person standing behind Kara and his heart stopped. He had a top hat and long black coat.

The dog barked once but he didn't take his eyes off of that man's face who was staring at Mon-El with cold eyes and a wicked smile.

No…this can't be…

Suddenly the tip of a dagger cut through Kara's chest and blood spattered. She only gasped. Eyes wide open, locked on him.

"NOOOOOO!"

Mon-El's eyes flew open, his heart pounding so hard as though trying to burst out of his chest and cold sweat had broken all over his body.

It was all just a dream! He was still lying on his bed in filthy clothes just as he had. Mon-El instantly threw his legs to the side and sat straight and reached for his cell. There were no miscalls. He unlocked the phone and searched for Kara's number in the logs. It was well past three in the morning, but he wouldn't let this go so easy even if it were just a nightmare. Never again.

The dragging beeps went by. "Come on, come on, come on." Mon-El's foot was tapping nervously against the wood boards of the flooring and his eyes darting from the desk to the drawers and to the door in a nonsensical cycle as a result of anxiety. When no one picked up, Mon-El shot up and ran out of his room and down the staircase on the tip of his toes. He was careful to jump over the last step which he knew since childhood would make a loud snapping sound that would be like an explosion in the silent house.

It was like a déjà vu. He was doing the exact same things had been done in the dream.

When he reached the hotel, he swallowed hard and pushed the front doors. It was locked. Great, at least something was different from the dream. Mon-El went around the building and checked the back doors. All locked as well. He was about to give up when he found a kitchen window open. It was high and small, but with determination, and thank to the high adrenalin still pumping into his system since waking up, he jumped high enough to clutch the edge with both hands and pulled his weight up to slide inside. Finding his way through the dark kitchen and restaurant to the hotel lobby, Mon-El saw it looking exactly like in his nightmare, with only one small difference. Someone was in the room behind the reception. A light was shining from there, but no sound could be heard. Mon-El waked up there and peeked cautiously through and found the care taker asleep on his chair.

He let out the breath he was holding and with shaking hands he found the notebook (again?) and searched for Kara's name (again?). Room 502. An ominous sensation filled him all over.

Mon-El was going for the stairs again, but decided to try and see if the elevators worked. He pushed the button and his soul almost left his body when its doors opened with a loud ding. He stalled a few seconds get his bearings, before stepping inside and pushed fifth floor button. The elevator was an old and slow one. While most hotels needed the guest's card to function to increase the security, Crimsonwood had never been a tourist attraction for its hotel to spend that much money on things like that. Besides burglaries rarely ever happened here.

After a long trip, the heavy metallic room came to a halt and once again the deafening ding marked the opening of slide doors. Mon-El prepared himself for pitch darkness, as it had been in his dream. But it wasn't. Small lamps on the walls were casting dim light into the narrow, yellow hallway. Mon-El stepped out of the elevator and walked over on the soft carpet covering the floor. Two parallel red stripes on its edges stretched forward, guiding the passenger.

The rooms started at 510 on his right, so Mon-El continued. When he found room 502 he stopped. He raised his hand to knock but hesitation gnawed at his insides. What if this was a stupid idea? What if he was going to disturb Kara and make everything worse? The internal battle continued until Mon-El noticed the door wasn't completely shut, making his heart drop.

The sight resolved the indecisiveness immediately as Mon-El pushed at the white door open, fearing the worst.

"Kara?!"

The only light source in the room was the orange night lamp that made eerily elongated shadows on the furniture and other features of the room. His eyes fell on the only bed in the small suit. Kara was sitting on the opposite side, her back to him. She didn't turn to greet him. Simply sitting there motionless. Was she in a trance like in the nightmare?

Mon-El closed the door behind him anxiously, dreading what might happen next, and walked around the bed to see what was happening to Kara. The closer he got, the more he noticed the tremors racking over her body and heard the soft panting.

"Kara?" Mon-El knelt down slowly in front of her to get under her line of sight. The lamp on the night stand on the far side of the bed wasn't strong enough to brighten her face, yet he saw the trace of tears on her cheeks and how her eyes were glued to her twitching hands intertwined with each other in her lap.

She didn't even seem to have noticed Mon-El sitting there, gazing at her with concern pouring out of him. Mon-El had no idea what was going on. Could she maybe having flashbacks? Mon-El brought a hand up and gently put it on her knee, not wanting to startle her. He whispered her name once more.

Kara's whole body grew stiff and her eyes snapped to his, filled with fear. "Wh- Who are you?" Kara flinched away.

Mon- El withdrew his hand. "Hey, it's me. It's Mon-El!" He said quietly.

"Mo- Mon-El?" She repeated his name as though this was the first time she had heard it. "Mon-El?" And a second time to examine the name as she moved forward. He couldn't see clearly, but felt her keen stare on himself and it send shivers through his body. Did she remember him after all? Recalled who they were?

"Yeah, it's me." He confirmed in a broken voice. His entire being yearned to hold her once more in his arms. Just one last time.

Kara leaned forward, making Mon-El's breathing stop and then suddenly drew back as her eyes strayed to the dim surrounding and the fright settled back in them like the beginning. "What is this? What's happening to me?" With quickened exhales, she raised her hands and stared at them in total bewilderment as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing. "Where am I?" She cried.

Mon-El assumed she was experiencing the same perplexing disorientation he had in the cemetery earlier. "You're in a hotel in Crimsonwood." Mon-El explained in clear words as he moved to sit on the bed next to Kara. She was hyperventilating and anxiety was taking her over. She grasped his forearm tightly as if to ground herself. "H- How? How's this possible?"

Mon-El took her trembling hands in his and caressed lovingly, trying to distract her from the obvious tore in her consciousness. "Kara look at me." She immediately obliged.

"I know nothing makes sense right now, believe me I know, but just breathe, it's gonna be alright. I'm right here."

When her distress didn't subsided and her breaths turned into gasps, Mon-El slowly wrapped his arms around her and nudged her into his embrace, shushing soothingly. Kara pressed her head into his shoulder and let him brush her hair to calm her. Mon-El felt his heart almost giving away under the intense sensation.

"Breathe with me." He instructed. "In… and out. In… and out."

To his relief Kara listened and slowly her breathing evened out. Her body felt warm and rather limp in his arms. Mon-El used a hand to stroke her hair away from her face to find her eyes closed. Just as he assumed she had fallen asleep, Kara's eyes blinked open, landing on him. They gazed at each other for minutes with only their quiet breathing filling the silence.

"Is it really you?" Kara finally whispered.

Mon-El felt her gentle hands on his cheeks, tenderly cupping his face and his heart fluttered. He held her tighter in his arms. "Yes, Kara dearest, it's me." Tears welled up in his eyes as he clenched them shut and leaned into her touch. "I remember you, all that we were and all that I lost, and much more…" The whispering words came on their own, taking the same tone of speech one would use two centuries before unintentionally. Kara's fingertips explored his skin, all the curves and the edges, as if trying to rediscover him.

When he finally opened his eyes, he met Kara's sky blue tearful ones. "Mon-El." This time when she said his name, it was full of recognition and he realized that she finally remembered them. But more than that, it was the way she was looking at him. The same look she had reserved only for him and him only in that lost life.

A broken smile then appeared on her face accompanied with new tears. "Mon-El." Her hands held his face firm and with full affection. "You're here!" she gasped out loud in disbelief.

She was completely overwhelmed and Mon-El could understand since he felt equally enraptured by the improbability of this reality. He couldn't decide if all this were real or just another dream, but then it came naturally to them as they both leaned towards each other without saying another word and vigorously pulled one another in a passionate kiss.

And they burst into tears.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Mon-el repeated like a mantra as he planted kisses after kisses over any part of Kara's face, head and shoulders he could reach. Kara squirmed against him and pulled away to look at him questioningly through the tears.

"What are you talking about?" Her voice cracked. "What are you sorry for?"

"It was all my fault." Mon-El covered his face with both hands shamefully. "I couldn't protect you." He whimpered. "I let you die." The last words came out as quiet as a murmur. It wasn't possible for him to say anything more after that.

"No!" Kara pulled at his hands to force them away and he let her. He had no power to resist her, but he refused to meet her eyes.

"Mon-El." She caressed his face and cupped to make him raise his head and look directly at her. "You have nothing to be sorry for my love." Her voice was hushed and choked, her eyes swimming with sorrow as though she felt the pain he had carried for centuries on his soul. He didn't feel deterred by it even a bit, no, this wasn't a look of pity. This was sheer empathy. The compassion written on her face was so pure and tangible that slowly it thawed the ice in Mon-El's heart.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you." Kara cried, paralyzing Mon-El with her confession to which he couldn't find the words to protest, while she rested her forehead against his and continued. "I can't imagine what you went through." She once more pulled back to look at him in concern as her hand brushed through his short hair. "What happened to you my love?" More tear rolled down her cheeks as she read the endless suffering he had gone through just by looking into his eyes.

There was so much to say. "I…" Mon-El didn't even know what to say, where to start. He didn't even want to talk about it. So he simply stated the fact that defined his life. "I lost you and I lived with that until the end." He said wearily and reached to brush away the tears on her cheek. Suddenly he felt he didn't deserve this. All the hardship and self-shaming he had inflicted on himself didn't allow him to enjoy this reunion any more than this. And so he pulled back from Kara, making her hands slip from his face and stood up.

"You- you need to rest. I should leave you."

"No!" Kara gripped his arm tightly and the hurt in her face made Mon-El's heart clench. "No! Please don't go Mon-El!"

There was no way he could reject her. The moment Mon-El sat back on the bed, Kara pulled him back into her arms.

"I didn't tell you, but for the past couple of days… I keep seeing this dream…where I'm walking down this path, it's peaceful, and serene, and you're there waiting for me… and all I want is for you to be in that field with me." Once more her hands touched his face. "Now you are."

Mon-El felt a lump pressing in his throat. "Now I am." He said and finally gave in to the overwhelming feeling of love and longing inside him.

The two laid down in each other's arms for the rest of that fateful night, wide awake, simply listening to the other's heart beating, completely bewildered by this impossible. They had no answers. They didn't even know what questions to ask in the first place, nevertheless all they cared was having one another alive and close to each other again and that was more than enough.


	10. Chapter 10: Rememory

**Chapter 10: Rememory**

The bell went off right outside the classroom, signaling the end of the school day. Mon-El sighed in relief. He hated mathematics and wondered what kind of psycho had decided it was okay for fifth graders to have such a hard subject right after lunch hour when he barely could keep his eyes open, let alone analyzing complicated algebraic problems. His marks had been dwindling and both the teacher and his mother were constantly on his case to force him to do better, work harder. He just didn't want to anymore. The only subject he was good at was English literature which his parents chose to ignore his God gifted intuition in comprehending sophisticated works with such ease that his teacher had picked him as the class favorite. Something that never happened. He was specially praised for his thorough and creative essay on Shakespeare's Rome and Juliet which was beyond his year.

Fidgeting with his leather camera case under the desk, Mon-El couldn't wait to get back home to organize the pictures he had promised for the next school journal issue. It was all he could think of these days. Photographs were consuming his life. He was in the talk to convince his parents to build a darkroom in the basement.

Mon-El tossed his backpack over one shoulder, the camera hung around his neck and followed others as they exited the classroom and towards his locker. He always sat in the last row in class. Always the loner and even more isolated now that he had published that photo of Bobby Mercer trapped in the Volleyball net. All because Bobby was targeting and bullying anyone who tried to befriend Mon-El. He was onto get his revenge and it was making Mon-El's life hell at school.

Putting his books in the locker, he stepped outside the building with other kids and was heading for his bicycle parked behind the building when five tall figures blocked his path.

Bobby Mercer and his gang, the Big Five – or the Dumb Five as Mon-El liked to call them – were crowding on him. This wasn't new. They had tried to corner him before out of school, but he had been careful not to allow that to happen. It was bold of them to try that on the school grounds and with still many students around. Although everyone was in a rush to leave and didn't want to stay around to watch.

The five seven grader boys were all a head and shoulder taller than Mon-El, all wearing their matching dark basketball team jackets with double C letter sewed on them in gold threads. The Crimsonwood Crows. Mon-El watched them all staring at him with stupid smirks plastered on their faces and some flexing their necks or clenching their fists as though preparing to go rounds on him. Mon-El knew these were all for show of power and they wouldn't really do something like that where they could be seen, yet he felt intimidated by them. Despite the fear, however, there was no way in hell he would let them read it from his face.

"Hey, Bobby." Mon-El coldly acknowledged the tall boy with ginger hair, standing in front of the group with his arms crossed and legs apart. Unlike his bulky minions, Bobby was rather slender and seemed to be the only one with two working brain cells in the bunch. That was probably why he was chosen as the Basketball team captain as well.

Bobby didn't speak as he stepped into his personal space, a hand pushing him easily towards the concrete wall behind him, until he collided to it with a thud. Mon-El felt the bully's angry exhales fanning against his face.

"That was the last time you ever take pictures of me or the team. If I ever see you again around the court, I will teach you a lesson." He shouted into Mon-El's face, his hands scrunching the front of his denim jacket, pulling him up so that only the toes of his Converse shoes were touching the ground, as he shoved him harshly into the hard wall. The back of his head throbbed form the impact, but didn't even flinch at the pain.

Mon-El swallowed, nevertheless, didn't show any sort of agreement to Bobby's words. He wasn't going to either. That was the last thing he wanted to do, even if it was scaring the crap out of him.

Seeing his indifference to the open threat, anger overtook Bobby. With an ugly scowl, he clawed at the camera around Mon-El's neck and caused his body to jerk forward along with its strap still hanging around his neck. Fearing for his most beloved possession, Mon-El finally reacted to the assault. "NO!" He pushed away the older boy, but two of the goons immediately grabbed each of his arms and Bobby snatched the camera from him easily.

"DON'T!" Mon-El said as Bobby hatefully held the camera up, enjoying the fear he was inflicting.

"BEG ME!" Bobby demanded and Mon-El clenched his jaw shut stubbornly, even though every part of him was screaming at him to save what mattered to him most. There was a stronger voice in him, willing him not to bend to this bully's desire, no matter the cost. He resented the idea of letting Bobby feel like he had won. Mon-El shook his head in defiance, a sharp headstrong sparkle in his eyes.

Bobby burst in furry at this opposite reaction with a loud grunt and smashed the camera as hard as he could on the floor right in front of him. Mon-El's entire body shook, his heart breaking silently into pieces as the vicious boy stomped on the precious camera he had received for his 10thbirthday.

No one in the yard stood to watch. Everyone knew better than to interfere and make themselves the next target. They were all in a hurry to get away. Mon-El didn't even notice when the boys released him and left, each taking turns to spit on the deformed pile that was once his camera. With trembling hands and a thundering heart, struggling to keep his emotions at bay, Mon-El picked up what was left on the asphalt and threw it into his backpack.

As he finally scrambled to his feet and started walking on unsteady legs, he finally realized the yard was completely empty except for a boy standing by the bicycle rack next to his own bike, watching him nervously as he approached.

He had dark hair, blue eyes and wore a dark Star Wars t-shirt beneath a brown jacket two sizes bigger for his small figure. Mon-El knew him. The short genius third grader who had won the first place in a science fair, becoming the youngest ever to win the competition in Crimsonwood Elementary school. Mon-El had taken photos of him and his very delicate robot for the school journal. He was Winslow Schott Jr – or as everyone called him, Winn.

"Mon-El… I- I'm so sorry…" The little boy expressed his condolences in a squeaky voice, his hands gripping at his bike handles.

Mon-El didn't have the power in him to acknowledge or reply to the younger boy's sympathetic words with more than a shake off his head. He continued on with a bowed down head and reached his red bicycle. There was only one place he wanted to be at that moment. A place he had come to know as his own private safe place.

He mounted the bike with a pounding heart. Mon-El pedaled faster and faster, letting the chilly November wind below into his face and rustle through the semi long hair. He let his bitter mournful tears stream and be plucked away by the speed.

Mon-El went off the road, farther and farther away from the familiar streets and buildings, never slowing down or looking at anything but ahead. His body took him to the forsaken cemetery on its own.

Leaving his bike hurriedly on the dry grass next to the ancient rusty graveyard entrance, Mon-El ran inside, following a track he knew like the back of his hand. He didn't stop until he reached his favorite spot. Slumping down next to the weathered gravestone, Mon-El threw his back pack to a side and pulled his legs into his chest in a fetal position. Shivers rattled his body and tears came more silently. He didn't even have it in him to look at the camera again, even just to see how damaged it truly was now. Maybe he could convince his parents to pay for the repair if it weren't that bad, but he just wanted to be alone and grieve.

"They broke my camera… Kara …" Mon-El whimpered, pressed his head to his knees. "They broke my camera!" He shouted this time, punching at the dry leaves covering the cold ground. The pain in his hand added to his already hurting head, but he didn't stop. He was beyond uncomfortable and squirming with anger and sadness. He continued to shout into the air, watching the crows croaking in complain and distancing themselves from himself.

It had become a habit of him, coming here and talking to the long dead girl all about his troubles, because no one else was around to listen.

It took him a few minutes to empty his heart and mind. Mon-El leaned further into the cold fractured stone, feeling depleted and more tired, but not even a bit less upset. He had to go back home now or expect a lecture from his parents. Nevertheless, he couldn't move from his place. Not for the first time, Mon-El felt how wrong everything was. How he couldn't fit anywhere and this constant feeling that he was in the wrong place and wrong time. He couldn't understand why or how to stop it. Absentmindedly his fingers found the faded letters on the gravestone and followed each letter of the girl's name. "I wish you were alive…" The words came out from somewhere deep inside him that he wasn't even aware of its existence.

A few raindrops hit the stone and then his face. Mon-El lifted his head to look at the sky through the crooked naked branches overhead. Dark clouds were looming over and the rain was pouring faster by the minute. He sighed sadly and looked around with weary eyes at the lonely forgotten place. Slowly he reached for his backpack, his heart sinking once more when he felt the weight of the broken camera inside it and started to scramble back to his feet.

That was when he noticed someone else in the cemetery. A few yards away, standing over a grave, which Mon-El knew belonged to Alex Danvers, was standing a woman wearing a white dress that was too thin for the mid-autumn weather. Her long blonde hair cascaded down her shoulders freely. Mon-El gaped at the sight, very confused by the sudden and quiet appearance of this person. There were so many dead leaves covering the ground that no one could walk without making scrunching sounds which could be heard clearly in this otherwise dead silent place.

The woman turned around and pinned him with her piercing soft blue eyes. His heart skipped a few beats as their eyes met. She was the most beautiful woman Mon-El had ever seen in his life.

Mon-El stood frozen, completely forgetting the rain that was dripping down his face now and hypnotized by the presence in front of him.

"Mon-El?" A far distant call broke through the haze and he took his eyes off for a moment to glance at that direction. The voice had sounded familiar.

Lightning flashed overhead and Mon-El snapped his head back to the woman. She was gone. Mon-El blinked a few times, squinting into the increasingly blurring scenery. She had disappeared.

The squeaky call came once more, very terrified this time. "MON-EL!"

Mon-El recognized that small squealy voice this time. "WINN?" He shouted as he ran towards where he thought the younger boy had to be.

Zigzagging between statues and graves, he called Winn's name again. An answer came and Mon-El whirled around. He found the small frightened boy crouched next to the Luthor's burial temple, his hands covering his eyes and shivering from head to toe.

"Winn!" Mon-El knelt down in front of him and touched his shoulders.

"Mon-El!" Winn threw himself at Mon-El, completely freaked out and relieved now that he was found. It wasn't surprising he had gotten lost. No one knew this place like Mon-El did. The rain had dampened Winn's hair and was seeping into his jacket. Mon-El took off his own jacket without a second thought and draped it over the boy's head. He was going to get a cold this way.

"What are you doing here, Winn?! Did you follow me?" Mon-El asked.

Winn nodded with an apologetic expression. "I- I wanted to help you…" He explained.

"Help me?"

"I can fix your camera!" Winn claimed enthusiastically.

Mon-El regarded him skeptically. How could a ten year old fix a complex machine like his Canon T60? It was true that Winn had made a rescuer robot from scratch, but cameras were on a whole different level. Either way, his heart felt warm at the big favor this boy was selflessly offering. "It's okay, Winn." Mon-El helped him to his feet and put an arm around his shoulder, guiding him towards the exit. "You don't have to worry about it."

"But my dad has all sorts of parts! I bet I can do something with his help!" Winn argued. Mon-El smiled warmly for the first time and started to really consider it. Mr. Schott was well known for repairing digital devices. There was a small chance he could fix the busted camera. Hope returned to his broken heart.

"Thank you, Winn. For the offer… and for coming after me." Mon-El said gratefully, sheepishly wiping at the raindrops on his face.

Winn smiled broadly at Mon-El and he returned it heartily. Among all the kids at school, this boy had the biggest heart of all, and the bravest. He had overcome his greatest fear, stepping into the scariest known location in Crimsonwood, just to seek Mon-El out and help. It was in that moment when Mon-El understood what friendship really meant.

Mon-El had finally found a true friend.

* * *

He stirred awake from the vivid rememory gently by the fingertips caressing his face. Mon-El cracked open his eyes, taken by wonder and infinite joy as they landed on the smiling face of his one and only love, catching her staring at him in pure happiness. She was lying too close, her hand touching his face and eyes wide and yearning as though still in disbelief. A mutual feeling. Mon-El was yet unable to wrap his mind around all that had unraveled in the span of a night. He had gone from a lost man with no apparent purpose in his life and in fear of losing his mind, to a long deceased captain in the civil war, enduring a life of hardship and torment following the loss of the love of his life. Memories were still faded and jumbled together, however, he knew and focused on the only important fact. He loved Kara Danvers more than anything else in this universe. That was enough for him.

Lifting his hand groggily, Mon-El put it over her warm delicate hand on his face and held it there, reeling how warm and real it felt. She was here. She was alive. He reminded himself over and over like a mantra.

"Hi." Kara said quietly, biting her bottom lip. The twinkle in her comet blue eyes were boring holes in Mon-El.

"Hi." Mon-El replied hoarsely, putting a kiss on the center of her palm.

They were still in Kara's hotel room, lying on the bed, huddled too closely. The bed wasn't exactly for two people. Mon-El noticed it was morning by the brightness of the room. He stared back at Kara, not knowing what to say next. She didn't need his words apparently as she leaned forward and diminished the small gap, putting a chaste kiss to his lips. Mon-El melted into her, pulling her even closer to himself and deepened the kiss. Last night the two had been such messes and weren't in their right mind to do anything more than falling asleep in each other's arms and holding tight in fear that it had been nothing more than a dream.

Their hearts beat in the union, faster and faster in exhilaration as the reality once more hit them square in the face. They were together again. Alive again.

When their lungs protested for air, the two separated reluctantly, but held their faces close, touching foreheads, hands tangled into hair, stroking tenderly. Feeling each breath, each expansion and each constriction.

"Mon-El…" Kara murmured his name in awe, unable to continue.

"Kara..." He acknowledged in an equally low voice, guessing clearly what she wanted to say. There was no easy way into accepting this reality, yet they cared more about their reunion than anything else. Maybe this was their promised afterlife.

The reincarnated couple had no time to ponder more on this when a loud ringing sound filled the room unexpectedly, making them jump slightly.

"Is that your phone?" Mon-El asked as he squirmed to find the source.

Kara shook her hear. "No, it's the hotel phone!" She pointed at the white phone on a table across the room.

They shared a look momentarily as though feeling anxious what this strange call was going to be about. "I- I shall respond." Kara mumbled in the end. The ringing was nerve-wracking.

"You're under no obligation." Mon-El said.

Kara shook her head and proceeded to answer the phone. They hadn't realized how their vocabulary had shifted. Mon-El watched her, talking, merely shaking her head and saying few words of affirmation and understanding and soon the call was over.

She put the phone down and looked back at Mon-El. "It was your good friend, Winn. He has been seeking you after your mother has failed to find you in the house this morning."

Mon-El's brows raised. "Why on Earth would my mother bother Winn for such trifle matter? She should have had the insight to call me on the phone first and foremost. I would have responded to her personally with no trouble and eased her mind."

Mon-El reached into the jacket he had been wearing the whole time and took out his phone. The display didn't turn on. He hadn't charged it since yesterday. "Ah, crap!" The moment the words left his mouth, he noticed what had just happened and looked up and Kara and saw her smiling at him amused and a little surprised.

"Was I actually talking…did you…" Mon-El trailed off, palming his face. This was so confusing.

Kara rubbed her forehead with a huff. "We need to work on that, but we must go. Winn is waiting in the lobby and you shall let your parents know you are safe and no harm has come to you." She frowned at herself in disapproval.

Mon-El chuckled. It was like they were under a nineteenth-century spell. Maybe they were. "Okay, but I must make myself presentable first. I still seem like a man crawled his way through a pile of dirt." He cringed at his classy choice of words as he walked towards the bathroom. She heard Kara laugh after him. He couldn't stop it.

When the two finally stepped outside of the elevator a few minutes later and into the cozy lobby, they were a nervous wreck. What if Winn suspected something? What if they couldn't keep their speech pattern up to date?

"There you are!" Winn greeted them with a smile and his eyes sparkled when he put two and two together and realized Mon-El had spent the night with Kara. He gave Mon-El a knowing look and he wrinkled his nose at Winn's insinuation.

"Hi, Winn. It is…It's good to see you again!" Kara said rather loudly. Mon-El could visibly see her turning red from the effort she was putting to keep herself from talking like a Jane Austin book.

"You too Kara! Sorry to bother you, but it's almost noon and Mon-El's mom was going crazy over his disappearance."

"It's almost noon!?" Mon-El repeated. They hadn't checked the time since waking up. They had slept in so late.

"Yup. Why didn't you answer your phone?" Winn asked.

"It's because my phone is…ehm… is…" Mon-El rambled, completely forgetting the word.

"Dead!" Kara said as though she had discovered the word.

"Exactly! It is dead as the autumn leaves!"

Winn squinted his eyes at them in confusion. Mon-El was now sweating and tried to brush off his suspicion with a nervous laugh. Next to him, Kara was doing the same. Thankfully Winn didn't pick up on their weird behavior and shrugged off. "Okay, I've done my mission. You get home and tell your folks you're alive. I gotta go open the store. See you around." He said and waved at them while walking away.

"Bye, Winn!"

"Goodbye!"

The two stood rooted to the ground, their fake smiles fading away as soon as Winn was out of sight.

"That was close!" Kara claimed.

Mon-El nodded. "Indeed!" He sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets, finding the truck keys. He really needed to go back to their house right now. Somehow it felt too strange to face his parents. His parents… they were his parents now, not Rhea and Larson Gand. He was beyond baffled by the perception even though he had been living with these people and raised by them for over twenty years.

Reading the overwhelmed thoughts from his face, Kara searched for his hand and squeezed in assurance. "I can accompany you, if that would be of any help to ease your mind as I see this must be distressing for you to meet them in the light of all that has transpired."

Mon-El smiled at her sweetly, raising her hand to put a kiss on its back. "And I shall be the luckiest man to have your company, for you give me the strength to face even the most noxious beasts."

Kara beamed at him with a beautiful blush.

"I do not wish to be parted from you a second longer, my dearest Kara." Mon-El admitted.

"Neither do I, my love." Kara replied and leaned her head to his shoulder. Mon-El put a kiss to her hair.

They headed for the red truck and soon they were on their way to Mon-El's house. He was starving. Knowing his mother, she must have something ready. Having Kara over certainly would make her giddy. She loved having people over to gossip and was always prepared to host guests. Mon-El knew seeing Kara would make his mother forget all her anger about his disappearance.

"Whatever happened to the Gand Mansion?" Kara asked on the ride.

Mon-El gave it a thought. "I believe over the century it has been divided among the family members when I refused to keep the business running in the dishonest way my parents expected me to. The mansion stands no more. My family lives in a much simpler house."

Kara nodded. "And what of the Danvers household?" Her words were hesitant and her downcast eyes sad.

He inhaled deeply, choosing his words carefully before replying. "Your parents and sister left Crimsonwood soon after you. They sold the house and moved to National City."

Mon-El saw her head tilting downwards in sorrow and felt the heaviness of her heart. The family she loved more than anything in the world and was unwilling to leave behind, lived no more. His heart broke for her. Unlike Mon-El, Kara had people she loved from that life and could never have back. He took his right hand off the steering wheel and grasped hers on her lap to show her that he understood her grief. He wanted to say more to Kara, but they reached his house just then. Mon-El's family owned a relatively large ground. There was a small garden surrounding the house and a narrow pathway that lead to the house itself.

The front door opened as soon as the truck pulled in the driveway. Mon-El saw her mother standing with her hands on her hips and brows furrowed, but as soon as she noticed whom Mon-El had brought along, her entire demeanor changed the scowl morphed into a delighted expression. He smirked to himself. He had been right all along.

"She might be an over-enthusiastic chatter, however, I assure you, she is nothing like my other mother." Mon-El told Kara before they both got outside the truck and walked towards the steps leading to the front door hands in hands.

Mon-El swallowed nervously, desperately hoping that this first meeting with his parents would go better than how he was dreading it. As if sensing his trepidations, Kara gave his hand a gentle squeeze. Her bright and calming aura washed over Mon-El and gave him confidence. He had to believe that the worst was far behind them. Very far.


	11. Chapter 11: Illustration

**Chapter 11: Illustration**

"Oh, how lovely to see you, Miss Danvers, at last! Welcome to our house!" Mon-El's mother eagerly stepped forward to greet Kara, grasping both her hands with hers.

"Hello, Mrs. Gand. It's a pleasure meeting you." Kara smiled at the older brunette woman warmly and didn't seem even a bit surprised that his mother knew her name even though they hadn't even met. Crimsonwood was like that. Everyone knew each other and she remembered it now.

"Oh, please call me Charlotte! Come inside, please." Mon-El's mother almost dragged Kara inside in her enthusiasm to have their guest settled in the living room. "I will put on some tea right away. You must excuse me for not being prepared. Mon-El, why didn't you tell me sooner you were bringing Miss Danvers with you!?" She added in accusation, giving Mon-El a disapproving look.

Mon-El nervously shrugged. "Very sorry mo- mom. My phone was… dead. I couldn't call you." He explained as he helped Kara out of her coat and fixed the garment on one of the hangers by the entrance.

"Oh, please you don't have to! I don't wish to bother you." Kara said, meaning to redirect the woman's concern, but she shook her head and motioned for Kara to take a sit in the living room.

"You are no bother at all, dear. I have been waiting for your visit!"

Mon-El rolled her eyes as he sat down next to Kara on the couch.

"You have?" Kara asked in surprise.

"Of course, I knew since Mon-El kept talking about you, that something was going on between you two." She claimed with a knowing smile on her face.

Kara turned to look at Mon-El in surprise and he shook his head. "It was nothing of that sort!" He said, but frowned and tried to use more modern words. "I just… told them about our… I mean your… business in the town." This was turning to be just like those times they had to come up with excuses to justify how their relationship had been merely platonic. It was so tiring.

"Well, you two have been spending a lot of time together! Not to mention last night!" Charlotte said with a leer and Mon-El shook his head in dismiss.

"No, no, no! That is NOT what happened! Kara needed my help and it was too late, I simply fell asleep at the hotel!" He said, hoping his mother would let it go.

Kara came to his aid. "That is true! I had stayed out very late for sightseeing and I got lost. I called Mon-El if he could find me and he kindly returned me to my hotel…"

Charlotte stared at them each in turn, but didn't pursue the truth even though she looked unpersuaded. "Alright, but I'm so happy you brought her here!" She smiled at Kara again, squeezing her hand kindly and stood up. "I should get to that tea!" She said before walking away quickly towards the kitchen with a bounce in her steps. "Carl? Where are you!? We have a guest! Miss Danvers is here!" She called Mon-El's father loudly as she reached the staircase on her way.

"WHO?" His father answered from upstairs with a muffled voice.

"KARA DANVERS! Mon-El's girlfriend!"

Mon-El facepalmed with a sigh. He caught Kara smiling brightly and looking very amused, contrary to what he had expected. "What?" He asked.

"I adore your new parents!" She claimed and he grinned at her.

It didn't take long before Mon-El noticed his father descending the stairs while fiddling with a plaid shirt he had obviously just put on according to his wife's instruction, fixing it into his slacks. Both Kara and Mon-El got to their feet when the older man approached. For some reason, Mon-El felt his heart racing in nervousness.

"How good of you to come to our house, Miss Danvers." He shook Kara's hand with a gentle smile and nodded at Mon-El. They had the same matching grey-blue eyes.

"The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Gand. Please, call me Kara." She said and Mon-El thought she was starting to get a hang of this speaking thing already.

"Then please, it's Carl. Mr. Gand is too formal. Reminds me of my father." The man said with a chuckle and gestured at them to sit back down. He sat on his favorite sofa across from them and reached for his pipe that was on the table next to it.

"I hope you don't mind." He asked Kara for permission.

"Not at all." Kara shook her head, still smiling.

He nodded and lit the pipe with a match, blowing into it a few times to get it running. A moment of silence fell over, disturbed only by the soft puffs of air. Oddly the scene Mon-El had seen his whole life made him feel so nostalgic and stirred something very deep inside. It was as though seeing his life for the first time. He remembered he had a pipe as well like any other gentleman in that age. He remembered how it looked like. It was much longer than his father's and the wood wasn't as fine and the smell was sharper. He recalled how one time his son Michael took it without his permission to do an impression of him and amuse his younger sisters. It had been a rainy day and the children had been bored, not being able to go outdoors like they usually did. The thirteen year old boy had been a little afraid of the possible punishment once he was found by his father, but Mon-El only joined his daughters – even going one step further by giving his son his top hat – and praised the mischievous teen's acting skills. He remembered the weight of his youngest daughter sitting on his lap, the older pressed to his side. Their dark brown long hairs spread across his chest and their bodies wiggling with giggles in his hold. The joyous ring of their laughter echoed in his ears as though they were right there.

Mon-El felt his heart clenching painfully at the memory. He wanted to clutch at his shirt from the discomfort of it, but stopped himself by making two trembling fists of his hands. Kara gave him a concerned look and he simply shook his head to convince her that he was alright.

Brushing away the emotions with the greatest difficulty, Mon-El remembered that his father Larson also had a pipe, but he never spent time with him to get to know him enough the way he knew this father, Carl. All of his memories if his other parents were stained by the deliberate distance they had put between themselves. By their prejudices, their selfishness, and hubris. Suddenly, Mon-El felt ashamed of how much he had been taking these new parents for granted. They had given him everything he didn't have. They loved him and he had been oh so blind.

Unlike Charlotte, Carl wasn't much of a chatter. He only asked very general questions, not at all interested to know what she and Mon-El had been doing.

Soon Charlotte came back with the promised tea and before Mon-El knew it, they were having a tea party and it all felt so absurdly normal. Far more comfortable than he had initially feared. It was as though Kara fit naturally into their family with how easily she conversed and initiated smiles. Mon-El watched his parents interacting with her. It was strange and magical how immediately they had accepted her and seemed to really like her. Even his father whom was always reluctant to speak freely with strangers seemed to be open around her.

After the tea, Mon-El sensed his mother's questions were getting too directed and decided to save them both. He cleared his throat to stop the embarrassing story his mother was telling Kara of how Mon-El had been getting a little chubby at six and they had to put a lock on the fridge. "Apologies…" Mon-El gritted his teeth for speaking so formal and tried to soften it. "Ehm, but Kara doesn't have all day. She needs to check on her car. Mr. Vincent said it should be ready today." He said, half telling the truth. Mr. Vincent had mentioned something about the repairs being almost done the other day.

"Oh, but you must at least stay for lunch! I'm cooking Mon-El's favorite, turkey with carrots." Charlotte insisted and Kara turned to look at Mon-El.

"I suppose we could check on the car another day?" Kara suggested in a questioning tone, biting her lip. She really seemed to be enjoying the time in his house and getting to know his parents. If she were okay then he had nothing against it.

"Yes, I suppose." He shrugged and the compromise made his mother very happy.

"Excellent! Then I should peel some more potatoes." Charlotte said and was about to head for the kitchen again with the tray of empty cups.

"Please, is there anything I can help you with, Charlotte? " Kara offered, concerned she had somehow intruded their family meal and had made more work for the woman.

"Oh, not at all, dear! You make yourself right at home. Mon-El, why don't you show Kara the guest room." She said and then turned to frown at Mon-El's clothes. "And for God's sake please change into something clean!" She added in a lower voice and shook her head at Kara apologetically.

The two scurried upstairs with quiet giggles, holding hands and feeling like teenagers. Mon-El followed his mother's words and showed Kara the guest room first. No sooner than they reached it and were all alone again, Kara turned to wrap her arms around his torso, hugging him with a happy sigh. Mon-El trembled in her arms. This was still so new and wonderful. He didn't think he could get over it any time soon, if ever. Kara tilted her head back to look him with eyes that were still shining like two priceless Topaz gemstones and couldn't help but to lean down and kiss her soft pink lips sweetly. They remained like that for a minute until they heard footsteps.

Mon-El pulled away with a chuckle and scratched the back of his head. "Very well… ehm, make yourself comfortable here, I shall return as soon as I'm away with these soiled clothes."

Kara stifled a laugh with her hand. "Mon-El, you really need to work on this!" She glanced at the door to check if anyone were there and stole another kiss from him. "Be quick, my love."

Mon-El stumbled out of the guest room, flustered, cheeks flushed red and made it to his room with his mind somewhere entirely out of this world. With his state of mind, it took him a while to notice that his window had been fixed and his room looked normal again, thanks to his father. As he changed out of his dirty clothes, he found the necklace in his jeans pocket. His heart dropped, remembering everything again. He had to give it back to Kara and put things back in order, but what if his mother noticed it was missing? He needed to think this through. He hated lying. Unless…He had an idea but it was too soon.

He walked back to the guest room wearing his best button down and found Kara staring at the portrait hung on the wall. His portrait. The notion felt beyond eerie, when his entire life he had known it as his ancestor's. He had forgotten that the other night he had brought it down from the attic and had replaced it with his not so pleasant-to-look-at great aunt's painting.

She hadn't noticed his arrival while so focused on the frame with her back to Mon-El. He approached her with a smile. "It was drawn only a month after I was commissioned as Captain. I believe it was the year 1863." Two years before I died, he added inwardly.

Kara whirled around with surprise etched on her face. "You… you went to the war…" She concluded in awe.

He nodded. "I did, and…I have to show you something." Mon-El took her hand in his and guided her out of the room and towards his father's study room. They progressed slowly as Kara was keen to look at each of the paintings in the hallway. In case they were relevant, Mon-El would recount their name or life briefly.

Mon-El knocked on the door softly to gather his father's attention who was reading a book at his desk. The room resembled the same they had found at Mr. Kent's house.

"Dad? I was wondering if I could show Kara my namesake's medal." Mon-El asked.

"Of course." He said with a nod and reached into a drawer, pulling out a wide and narrow wooden case. It was clearly aged. Mon-El took the box from him and opened it for Kara.

On the smooth red velvet covering the inside, sat a star-shaped bronze medal attached to a stripe in the colors of the flag of United States. Kara was taken aback by it. She didn't say anything as she reached hesitantly, asking permission with her eyes to touch it. Mon-El instantly granted it by a nod and slipped the case into her arms. She nursed it as though handling a museum artifact and stroked the cold medal softly, following the engraved figures and each of the star points with her index finger hypnotically. She looked speechless.

Seeing Kara's deep interest, Mon-El's father started telling the story behind the medal just as he had for anyone who came around. A story Mon-El had heard so many times that he knew it by heart.

"That's Mon-El's great great grandfather Medal of Valor. He was a Union Captain in the Civil War. They say he fought very bravely and died in the frontier, saving a fella soldier's life. He was a war hero and we thought what better name to choose for our son than a family hero." He patted a shaken Mon-El on the shoulder.

Hearing those old words from his father had never felt as touching as it did at that moment. Mon-El felt his throat clogging with emotions. If only he could tell this man the truth… Looking back at Kara, he was stunned to see her staring at him very intensely with rims of tears glimmering in her blue eyes. Her expression was a mixture of astonishment and grief. She closed the case a moment later with trembling hands and returned it to Mon-El's father with a quiet word of gratitude. The tremble in her voice was noticeable.

Before Mon-El could understand what was happening, Kara left the room in apparent distress. His father gave him a confused look. Mon-El sprinted after her.

"Kara?" Mon-El found her back in the guest room, her back to him once more, watching the portrait. He looked much older in it. Over fifty years old. "I never meant to upset you…" He said as he closed the door to give them privacy and approached her, touching her shoulders timidly. "Kara?" He whispered this time and leaned his forehead to the back of her head, asking her silently to open up.

A few seconds later, she turned and trapped his face with both hands. He saw the tears falling freely from her beautiful eyes. "You…" Kara started, but couldn't continue due to a sob that broke from her lips instead.

Mon-El brought his hands up and put them on top of hers. "I promised you, I will be the man you thought I could be."

"You died!" She said at last with such vehement as though it was hitting her for the first time.

"Oh, Kara." Mon-El pulled her into his chest and let her shed those long overdue inevitable tears.

When she grew calmer, she looked up at him. "I'm so sorry… I do not think I have even begun to comprehend all the aspects of this…" She said, reverting once more back into their old way of talking.

"You have nothing to apologize for. I do not believe I have either. It is too much to digest so shortly, after all." He said and brushed a stray tear from her cheek with his thumb.

"You never needed to prove me anything, Mon-El. You were always the honorable man I came to know and fell in love with." Kara stated with trembling voice, a fresh set of tears shining in her eyes.

The clear adoration written on her face made Mon-El's heart flutter and brought similar tears to his own eyes. "It was all because of you." He said.

Kara shook her head in denial, but didn't argue further. She just clung him tightly, seemingly needing to assure herself that he was there with her, alive. Mon-El felt she was going through what he had experienced right after regaining his traumatic memories of her gut-wrenching death again.

They spent the next hour in the guest room with Mon-El comforting Kara. Eventually, her eyes found the old notebook Mon-El had left on the nightstand. She tentatively touched the fractured leather cover and turned to look at Mon-El with wide eyes.

"This… this is your journal!" She claimed in recognition. "I remember how you used to write in it so fondly." She picked it up excitedly, meaning to open it, but stopped herself and asked, "May I?"

Mon-El came to sit on the bed beside her and bit his lip nervously, feeling self-conscious of the things that had been written in it and what they could mean to Kara. Nevertheless, he agreed. It was her right to know. He didn't wish there to be any secrets between them. "You can keep it, however, I suggest you read it on your leisure. I believe my mother will soon come after us for lunch and I'm afraid what that journal holds, may need more time than this to go through fairly."

Kara nodded, pressing the notebook to her chest possessively. "You never allowed me to read it." She added with a smile.

"What man allows a lady to read his embarrassing and out of portion love poems?!" He said with a chuckle.

"I never minded. You always made sure your Shakespearean quotes were to the book."

"And your never-ending affair with Pride and Prejudice made it all the harder for me to compete with Mr. Darcy!"

They both burst into laughter. Mon-El pulled Kara close and kissed her while she was still laughing so heartily. They tumbled on the bed, continuing to kiss.

A knock on the door then made them separate immediately, sitting upright and looked over to see Charlotte opening the door and peering inside with a hopeful smile. "Lunch is ready!"

* * *

The two were in Mon-El's room after lunch. Kara was absorbed in Mon-El's collection of polaroids, spread across the bed between them. She looked at them each keenly and Mon-El would explain if there were any particular stories behind them. There was the one of the black cat he had accidentally found the other day and it was now sitting on his desk next to his camera. It still baffled him. And now Kara as well. Could that cat really be Streaky?

"I remember how fond of sketching you were back then. You loved capturing the moments you liked most." Kara stated insightfully as she put away the last of the polaroids.

"I was…wasn't I?" Mon-El admitted. He had never thought about it. Somehow it made sense now. A lopsided smile quirked his lips. "But my skills were really poor. I'm lucky cameras were invented!"

Kara looked at him with a tilted head, leaning onto one arm. Her long golden hair fell freely to a side. Just the way she liked her hair best. Whereas just before regaining her memories she was always seen with a ponytail. Her only difference to her old image was the frames sitting on her face.

"Well, your mother never allowed you to practice. And you've always underestimated yourself. Have you forgotten all the sketches you drew of me and Streaky? They were phenomenal!" She said.

Mon-El nodded at her in appreciation. "You were always too kind."

Kara shook her head at him with a huff. "You've grown too humble for your own good, Mon."

The abbreviation of his name made his heart race. It had been so long that he had forgotten it. He only shrugged, but Kara seemed a bit concerned. "Do you still draw?" She asked.

He shook his head. "No, I've been too consumed by photographs to ever try it."

Kara nodded and looked back at some of the pictures again. Mostly the ones he had taken of the cemetery. "You said that you used to go to the cemetery all the time growing up. Why? Did… did you know?"

Mon-El didn't answer right away. "No… but there was always this strange gravity, this inexplicable feeling that I can find something there…that I don't feel that lonely there."

"It must have been so strange…" Kara said softly and Mon-El saw the shiver that ran through her. He didn't say anything as he sensed she was about to say something and he was right. "I- I can't say I've ever felt such attraction to any location or time era per se like the way you have, but I remember this unshakable feeling like I don't belong. I was so drawn to cats. Especially black cats!" She chuckled lightly, turning her head to look at the photo on his desk. "I tried to convince my mom to allow me to have a cat, but she was allergic and then I went to college and then work… there was no time or space to bring cats into my life. Oh, but I did own and read all the Jane Austin books many times. My friends made fun of that a lot."

Mon-El listened to her intently. They both had felt attraction from things from their past lives, in different ways. "That explains why I got top marks in English literature all the time." He told Kara with a grin. "You should have seen the look on my teacher's face when I read Romeo and Juliet flawlessly to the class."

Kara laughed at him. "Some things never change!"

They laughed together for a few seconds before silence fell over. Kara was the first to break it. "Mon?" She looked at him nervously. Her fingers were fidgeting with her glasses again.

"What is it?" He asked when she didn't continue.

"I… I want to know what happened to you after I was… gone." She said quietly and avoided his eyes.

His heart beat erratically at her request. He didn't think he could tell her yet. It was too much and all so triggering at the moment. He was still coming in terms with this hollow feeling of guilt he still felt for Kara's death. Something he had lived with for over thirty years and not even her sitting in front of him alive and well had wiped it.

Kara saw the trepidation on his face. Her hands hastily reached for his. "But I understand if you don't want to go through it all again. I would never force you!"

Mon-El shook his head. "No, I do want to tell you all about it. I'm only having trouble recalling some events or finding the words… I recommend you read the journal first. Most of what happened is written there." It was much easier if she read his entries first.

Kara nodded in agreement. "I'm a little worried for you. You seem so… so introverted. So quiet and into yourself, unlike how you used to be." She said, brushing away the hair from his forehead gingerly.

He sighed deeply. She was right, but she hadn't been around for most of his life and had never witnessed the changes he had gone through. "You don't need to worry about me, Kara. It's still me. Only a few years older and a hell lot wiser than the last time you met me." He said and put a kiss on the back of her hand. The familiar gesture brought a smile to her face.

They spent another minute preoccupied with their own thoughts. There was just too much to go through.

"Ah!" Kara exclaimed as though an epiphany, making Mon-El jump a little. "Winn! Your friend Winn! Isn't he the same friend you'd found in National City?!" She asked.

Mon-El gave it a thought for a second. After what happened to Kara, he barely visited National City and Winslow Schott again. "Why yes, they have the same name, but different faces. I have no idea how his family ended up in Crimsonwood, however."

"Everything is so strange here…" Kara said, shaking her head. "I still feel like this is all just a dream."

"If this is a dream, I don't wish to ever wake up." Mon-El was fearful that Kara was losing faith in them.

"I don't want it to be over either." She said, easing his mind a bit.

Kara had been almost back to her normal, twenty-first century way of talking already, while Mon-El still found himself struggling. He had a theory. Kara had been living in this time already more than her old life, whereas he had lived almost twice his current age. This could definitely be a factor why he had been more affected by the dreams or habits from the past. The only question was, why now? What had caused them to remember? Was it their meeting? But he was already having the dreams before Kara's arrival. There were no answers and he had no clue where to look for them. Who would even believe them? For a moment Mon-El considered telling Winn, but quickly dismissed it. He was afraid Winn's brain would melt down after hearing the story. The poor man didn't deserve this.

"My telescope! That was my telescope in 's attic!" Kara said and Mon-El nodded with a smile. How strange that the delicate object had endured so many years. "I can't believe it's still around! I really want to see if it's still working."

"I doubt it still works. The lenses must have been deformed over a century." Mon-El said thoughtfully.

Kara poked him in the side with a playful twinkle in her eyes. "Oh, so you know all about lenses now, huh, Romeo?" Mon-El laughed at her, trying to retaliate by tickling her. Kara's reaction was instantons and explosive. Her loud laughter was music to his ears. A sound he had believed he would never hear again. Instinctively his lips found hers and the laughter turned muffled. The kiss was messy and growing more passionate with every passing second. Mon-El heard the box of polaroids hitting the floor as it slipped from the bed in their commotion, all the photographs scattering across the carpet. Neither cared nor stopped.

He could never get tired of kissing her. They had never gone farther than kissing.

Suddenly a flood of memories attacked his mind. The face of his wife. All the times they had been together. Imra… Mon-El pulled away immediately with a racing heart. Kara's lips chased after his abruptly retreating ones.

"Mon-El?" Kara asked in alarm, her hands caressing his face

He avoided her quizzical eyes, becoming more and more confused and ashamed. Everything felt so wrong all of a sudden.

"Mon-El, what is it?" Kara persisted.

"I- I'm…I'm sorry…" He stuttered and he completely withdrew from Kara's touch. The act made a mixture of hurt and fear appear across her face. The sight of it made Mon-El hate himself even more. "Mon-El, talk to me. What is happening right now?" Kara said with a trembling voice. Mon-El gripped at his hair, turning his back to her as he rose to his feet and looked outside the window. The sun was setting. The world was turning dark rapidly just as his sinking insides.

"I can't do this right now…" He said in a quiet voice, afraid of saying it any louder.

"Why?"

He sensed Kara standing right behind him. She wasn't touching him, reading his tense body language. "I… I just can't, Kara." His throat was burning with emotions. His hands were shaking thus he crossed his arms tightly over his chest to suppress his nerves, but Kara's silence was what was killing him most. How could he tell her? He was a coward.

"Alright…" Kara whispered defeatedly. "I will leave you then." Mon-El heard her steps as she walked towards the door. His heart broke. The pain of it wasn't any different than a sword piercing it.

"No!" He ran towards her, gripping at her forearm in desperation. Tears now breaking loose from his eyes very fast with no pretense. Kara stared at him astonished. "Please, I beg you, do not leave me! Not again!" He pleaded in panic.

Kara's expression shifted from dejected into a fearful one in a flash. Her hands came to cup his face. "Hey, hey, Mon-El. I won't leave. I will never leave you. What is it, my love?" She murmured softly and when he refused to talk and his breathing turned labored instead, Kara walked him back towards the bed, urging him to sit. She hugged him tight, rubbing his back soothingly as he quivered through the silent sobs that wracked his body. Mon-El held onto her in despair, hiding his teary face into her neck and remained that way until the wave of emotions subsided. He had never felt this unnerved in his entire life. Never had experienced such a terrible panic attack. At least not in this life. The sheer fright that burst inside him from the idea of Kara leaving him had triggered his memories from the days following her death. The guilt and abandonment issues had never really been gone throughout his life, but the days after the accident had been the worst and the panic he had just felt was very close to what he had gone through in those days.

Mon-El wished he could go back to not remembering it. The weight of it was crushing him. Again.

Realizing he had calmed down a bit, Kara withdrew from the hug and looked at him carefully, watchful of his still damp face. "Mon-El?" She softly called.

Mon-El still didn't meet her eyes, still unprepared to speak. Kara's hands reached for his twitching ones. She held them in silence for a moment before releasing them and raising to her feet. Mon-El watched her in fear, thinking she might want to leave again, but then she seemed to be looking for something on his desk. Soon she was back to him with a notebook and a pencil. She sat back and slipped the items into his lap. He looked at her in confusion.

"Draw something." She prompted.

Mon-El looked down at the blank paper and sluggishly took the not sharp yellow pencil in his right hand. His hand was still shaking a little. Blinking a few times, he found himself unable to sketch anything. He knew why Kara had done this. Drawing always helped him through difficult times. But that was a long time ago. She didn't know that he had given up on drawing entirely right after her death. His desire to sketch had departed like her from his life and he hadn't drawn anything for the rest of his life.

This made him feel angry. Not at Kara. He didn't know exactly at what. Maybe because they had grown so distant and different. Especially him. Kara was the same she had been the last time Mon-El had held her, unlike him. Throwing away the notebook and pencil to the other side of the bed, Mon-El stirred his body away from Kara. "No, it doesn't!"

"But I remember this always calmed you down." Kara argued. Mon-El heard the helplessness in her tone.

"No, Kara. It doesn't anymore." He said, fresh tears pooling in his eyes. God, what was wrong with him? He was never a crier. Kara only looked at him with a sad face. She was waiting for him to speak. "I- I am not the same man you once knew…" He started, pausing to find the words. "Things changed a lot during my life… I had a family…a son… two daughters… a wife…" Mon-El stopped there and couldn't continue any longer. Suddenly he hugged himself, overtaken by the grave concern of what had become of his family after he had been gone. How had they handled his absence? How did Michael manage the family business? Had his daughters had happy lives, or his abandoning somehow affected them badly? And what of Imra? It had been over one hundred and twenty years, yet it all felt so fresh and worrying. Mon-El was spiraling.

Kara sensed his returning dismay and leaned towards him. "Hey, look at me." She said quietly.

Mon-El obliged instantly. Finding her bright eyes a source of comfort, just as they always were. Despite what he had believed, the revelation of his family hadn't repulsed her. She wasn't looking at him any differently. If anything, there was even more affection written on her features.

"I love you." Kara touched his forehead with hers. An arm wrapping around his shoulders. "No matter what, I love you."

His heart constricted painfully, remembering when she had said those same three words for the first and last time. "I love you." He said back with a sob and pulled her into his arms. He needed her close. She was the only thing that made sense to him in this world. The only link.

They stood that way for a long while before Mon-El was ready to release her, albeit reluctantly. They were quiet until he heard Kara scoff. Her eyes were fixed on the discarded notebook Mon-El had shoved away. She reached for it, fetching the pencil that had rolled off the bed and to his surprise, started sketching something.

"What…" Mon-El asked in a scratchy voice.

Kara smiled, her eyes flickering between his face and back to the paper repeatedly as she drew short, calculated lines. Her head tilted in concentration. It took her a few more seconds before responding. "Well, you may not draw anymore, but guess who picked up the habit?"

"Y- you draw now?!"

She nodded. "I do. It's just something I do as a hobby."

Mon-El tried to scooch forward, curious to see her work, but Kara shook her head at him. "Uh- Ah. Stay still for a minute."

He obeyed, keeping his posture and watched her working on the sketch. The tranquility that followed, gave him a chance to divert his thoughts from swallowing him whole again. It took Kara about five minutes until she nodded at Mon-El with a shy smile and handed him the notebook. His jaw dropped at the superb sketch of his face. He couldn't stop staring at it.

"I'm sorry, it's a little rushed. I still haven't added the shades and your jawline here is SO off. Ugh… I should've –"

"Kara, it's perfect." He cut her babbling off.

"Really?" A crinkle formed between her brows.

"I love it." Mon-El smiled at her for the first time after it had all gone down. She returned it with relief. "Can I keep it?" He asked.

"Of course, it's yours! But just let me work on it a little more."

He nodded and handed the notebook back to her.

Kara didn't ask him to explain anything about the family he had had and Mon-El was very grateful for that. She continued working on her sketch and while doing so, asked Mon-El instead about his current life and work. Something that kept his mind occupied.

Dinner was served soon later and Mon-El's mother was very glad that Kara had decided to extend her stay and even offered she could stay the night and use the guest room. Normally Kara wouldn't accept, but seeing how Mon-El needed her close in that state, she welcomed it. It made his mournful heart a little less sad.

The rest of the night, they spent it with his parents. Kara noticed Carl's chess board dusting in the corner of the living room. It was a very old set. Upon seeing her attraction towards the artifact, Carl had asked if she was interested in playing and she had agreed gleefully. He had then become so delighted and had complained about how no one played with him anymore with the technology taking over life.

Kara played with his father and beat him, to Carl's surprise. Mon-El had watched them in earnest. Kara was always good at chess. Mon-El had never been able to win against her. Nevertheless, he decided to play with her next, giving it another shot. His parents had voiced their surprise about how Mon-El had never shown any interest in playing before. Mon-El's father wasn't sure if Mon-El even remembered how chess worked. Kara seemed so amused.

Predictably he lost, but the game helped a great deal to keep his mind off of the other things that threatened to drive him mad.

When it was getting late, they decided to call it a night. Mon-El wished he could be close to Kara in a bed and hold her the way they had the previous night, but it wasn't appropriate with his parents in the house. He hugged her before going to bed. Kara knew he was going through a lot and didn't seek a kiss like Mon-El knew she wanted to. He was so thankful for her, for not pushing him for more.

Lying in his bed, Mon-El stared at the dark ceiling for a long time. What was he going to do?

It must have been hours before asleep finally forced his eyes to close and his mind to slow down.

They had a lot more to talk about.


	12. Chapter 12: Genesis

**Chapter 12: Genesis**

 _The air smelled of blood and sulfur. The late afternoon sunbeams were obscured by the cloak of smoke swirling from small pits of fire scattered across the wretched plane of carnage. The ground was gouged and stirred from the countless boots, cannonballs and horse hooves trampling it. All that could be heard over the cries of war and horse whines in the distance was the deafening booming sounds of cannons repeatedly going off. The commanding tent material did little to stifle the noises._

 _Mon-El swept the sweat away from his brows as he leaned tiredly over the maps for the hundredth time over the course of six hours. Three other decorated army men clad in similar uniforms around the table discussed logistics and tactics vehemently. They had been having the upper hand for most of the time, but somehow, when victory seemed so very close, things had gotten a sudden change of course by the arrival of an unforeseen second enemy troop. Their strategy – his strategy – was failing miserably and they were losing men. To say Mon-El was nervous was an understatement. He had no fear for his life, but for every lost soul that was going to be his responsibility. He felt the weight of the world on his shoulder. The fate of so many was tied into the outcome of this battle._

 _The sheath of his sword clang against the edge of the weak wooden table as he leaned his weight further on his arms. His right leg was still aching from the wound he had received during the latest battle two weeks before. He was deeply focused to find a weakness in the enemy defenses as fast as possible._

 _"General!" A fourth uniformed soldier cried as he stepped inside the tent with a hasty salute. His young smudged face was pale and eyes bulged out. A musket was clutched in one hand and a blood-stained bandage was tied to the forearm of his saluting hand to keep his wound from bleeding. All the men flinched when a cannonball smashed into the ground much nearer than the previous ones._

 _"Sergeant!" The highest ranked man at the top of the table acknowledged, waiting for the urgent report._

 _"Another reinforcement troop has just joined the confederate forces, General! Their cannons are much more powerful!" As if to prove his words, another cannonball exploded even nearer._

 _They all stepped outside the tent and watched the new invaders. Mon-El's heart sank at the sight. They were too outnumbered_

 _"How many men?" Colonel asked._

 _"Two hundred and fifty." The Sergeant replied._

 _The General nodded at the officer. Their own reinforcement had yet to arrive and only half in number. If they continued, it was only going to be a slaughter. As they reentered the tent and started to go over their dead-end strategy again, Mon-El knew that he had to speak his mind. "General, we must call a retreat!"_

 _The General stared at him with an unreadable expression._

 _"Captain, that is not an option!" The colonel objected._

 _"What an act of cowardice!" The Major scoffed._

 _Mon-El fixated them right away with a fierce glare. "This is no time for seeking glory or vanity. Human lives are not toys to be gambled with by such idiotic disillusions of grandeur! If we proceed, there will be no triumph. There will only be bodies to bury!"_

 _Silence fell over the tent - not quite literally as the sound of cannons and war cries had never ceased their continuation. "Your orders, General." Mon-El persisted for the General's decision._

 _"Call retreat! Order everyone back right this moment!" The General finally spoke, shouting at the soldier._

 _The Sergeant saluted clumsily again and disappeared immediately to bring the order for retreat. There wasn't a second before they heard him blowing a bugle._

 _It was time for them to evacuate the tent as well. The third cannonball exploded dangerously in the vicinity. The small figurines on the map which showed the locations of the forces and troops were thrown on the ground, dispersing in every direction as the table tipped over._

 _The three other men left the tent in a hurry without any words. Mon-El grabbed his colt, tucking it into his belt. He rushed – limped – out and took in the scene before him. Now he was completely convinced that they had made the right call. His chest tightened despite his expressionless features. There were bodies everywhere. Alive or dead and the remaining standing ones were either limping or running back. Their only working cannons were persistently firing until the soldiers would return._

 _Mon-El found his black horse, calming the poor agitated animal with a few strokes – not so effectively – and mounted him as quickly as his stiff right leg allowed._

 _It took the remaining troops about thirty minutes to return. He oversaw the process and made sure the wounded were attended to the best way possible. When the last of the carts were ready to leave, Mon-El noticed a very distressed black-skinned soldier, resisting to board a cart. He approached the men to find out the reason._

 _"Soldiers, what is the problem?" Mon-El asked._

 _"Captain!" The men saluted. The disturbed man who now Mon-El noticed was badly injured in the stomach looked even more hopeless at his sight. "This soldier refuses to leave, Captain. He claims his brother has been left behind."_

 _"What is your name, soldier?" Mon-El addressed the wounded man._

 _"Olsen, Captain. Jack Olsen." He said._

 _"And your brother?"_

 _"James! He was trapped under the barricades, Captain! Please, I cannot leave without my brother!" The soldier pleaded with him, his brown eyes, wide and determined. Mon-El had no doubt that he would do anything for his brother, even if it cost him his life._

 _"You cannot go back, soldier. Not while so injured. I will not allow it," Mon-El told him and watched his face falling. "But I will search for him myself. Tell me where you saw him last."_

 _The look on the black man's face morphed into a mixture of hope and awe. It was very common for dark-skinned soldiers to be neglected and deemed less worthy to be saved than the w hites. True that the Union fought to abolish slavery, yet the mind and view of people took generations to shift and see these people as their equals. Mon-El never saw them as anything less than equals. He had hated how poorly his mother treated the few slaves their family owned back in Crimsonwood. She was cruel to them and punished their young boy once she saw Mon-El playing with him._

 _Since that day, Mon-El had sworn to do everything in his power to put a stop to it all. He had freed the slaves their family owned, gave them generous salaries right after his father passed away from a heart attack. His mother had been infuriated, nevertheless, she had no power over him any longer. That was why he was fighting for now. He believed in the future. He believed in a brighter future._

 _The soldier, Jack Olsen, explained the whereabouts of his brother, James, and soon Mon-El was back on his horse and riding back into the battlefield against all the protests that he was too high ranked and unprotected for this rescue mission, but he paid them no attention. He didn't see himself above saving a brave soldier, regardless of his rank or the color of his skin._

 _His horse jumped over a burning log and landed unevenly among the debris. The cannons had stopped yet the dark fog intensified by the dying sun had made finding a safe passage very difficult. He didn't wish to trample any fallen soldier, friend or foe. The poor vision was a double-edged sword. The possible enemy soldiers scavenging the field couldn't see him, but that also meant that he couldn't distinguish them. He proceeded with caution._

 _Mon-El reached the location Jack Olsen had described uneventfully. As soon as he saw the wheels of a broken cart facing the sky by the thick logs placed on top of each other as barricades, he heard a painful groan. Gradually he identified the struggling silhouette beneath it. James Olsen was alive._

 _"Olsen!" Mon-El called as he got off his horse, his face scrunching against the ache of his right leg. The stuck man stopped his movements to watch him walking towards himself._

 _"Captain Gand!" James shouted in disbelief. His face was contorted with pain. The logs had trapped both his legs._

 _"Your brother, Jack, send his regards," Mon-El told him, trying to assure the man that his family hadn't abandoned him. Hope shone in the man's face. They looked very similar to each other._

 _"My brother is alive?"_

 _"He is indeed. He was injured, not fatally, fortunately, thus I came in his place."_

 _"Captain! I," The soldier started in awe._

 _Mon-El didn't waste time with speaking anymore and reached for the side of the log, trying to lift it. It was very heavy. He almost lost his footing as his weakened right leg couldn't bear the tension. He stopped for a moment and looked at James._

 _"We need our combined strength for this part, I'm afraid," Mon-El said and the soldier nodded. He looked stronger and taller than Mon-El. And he had the advantage of youth which he no longer had. In his fifties, his back muscles weren't as powerful as they used to be._

 _James nodded and grabbed for the other end of the log._

 _"On three. One, two, three!" Mon-El grunted as he put all his force into lifting the log again and this time it worked. James cried under the effort and suddenly his help was no longer sensed and the log dropped down with a thud. Mon-El was worried the soldier had injured himself._

 _"James!" He rushed towards the man and was amazed to see he had freed himself in that short moment. Unfortunately, his legs were in bad shape. Mon-El took off his neck handkerchief and tied it tightly above his knee to hinder the bleeding._

 _"Captain! How can I ever repay you?" James panted as Mon-El carefully helped him to stand._

 _"It is too soon to thank me, soldier. We still need to find our way out of this foul place." Mon-El said, his eyes darting and scanning all around them for possible threats._

 _Mon-El helped James towards his horse and was about to help him, mounting it when a shot went off. A bullet hit the ground next to them. The horse whined in terror and retreated._

 _"I will stop them! Go to the horse!" Mon-El instructed._

 _"But Captain," James argued._

 _"You have no weapon! I will buy us time. Go this instant!" He repeated and watched James limping away towards the sacred horse._

 _Another bullet pierced the air and the dirt next to his boot exploded. Mon-El jumped away, cursing his slow leg and took out his colt. Taking shelter behind the nearest log and squinting hard through the fog, he tried to locate the assailant._

 _"I watched you galloping from a mile away, Mon-El. There is no point in hiding."_

 _It was as though a bucket of ice water was poured on him. That voice. Mon-El hadn't heard it for years, nevertheless, he remembered it as though it had been no more than a day. Emotions steered inside him. Things he had buried deep inside. Things he hadn't felt for over thirty years. Revenge. Cold, sharp and unforgiving vengeance._

 _Just as he had on that cursed night, Lex Luthor emerged into existence. Instantly, Mon-El recognized the navy blue uniform of Confederate with the golden insignia sewed along the sleeves in golden. He could barely believe his eyes, yet it somehow made perfect sense. Lex was always the enemy. The concept had only become quite literal now._

 _The same hideous smile was plastered on his face. A face that had aged nonetheless persevered the maliciousness. Mon-El stepped away from the barrier that saved him from the lead bullets dauntlessly. He had no fear of him. Not any longer._

 _The sound of horse whines interrupted and Mon-El saw James emerging riding his horse. "Captain!" He shouted and reached out to him to help him mount. He was holding a musket now. Undoubtedly he had found the deathly tool lying nearby with its owner long departed this world and no longer in need of it._

 _"Leave now, soldier!" Mon-El waved at James, now afraid for his life._

 _"Captain, no!" James refused._

 _"This is an order, soldier! Go to your brother now." He commanded strictly without taking his eyes or the barrel of his colt off of the dangerous man in front of him. This was very personal._

 _James left then reluctantly. Mon-El prayed he wouldn't encounter any other enemy soldiers on his way._

 _Lex looked at James with disgust in his face. He shook his head as he watched his interactions with the soldier. Without a warning, Lex rose his colt and aimed for James who was still in the shooting range. Mon-El leaped on him, tackling him before he could take the shot._

 _To his surprise, the older man burst into laughter. "You could have simply shot me, yet you chose to attack me like a tavern thug!"_

 _Mon-El straddled Lex, locking him down under his weight. With his left hand, he pinned Lex's gun holding hand to the ground and his right aimed his colt right between the enemy's brows. "That would be too merciful for someone like you!" He snapped at Lex's still annoyingly smirking face._

 _"How predictable! How disappointing. And here I was seeking a more challenging fight." Lex said nonchalantly with a roll of his eyes. He didn't seem intimidated even the slightest at the threat of Mon-El's colt pressed against his head._

 _As Mon-El paused before taking any further actions, his hesitation turned into a mistake when Lex jerked his body to a side and his other free hand shoved the colt out of Mon-El's hand. He freed himself from Mon-El's hold, rolled to a side and found his footing quite fast. He was agile for a man in his sixties._

 _They both pointed their colts at each other, Mon-El still on his knees. The ugly sneer was unwavering from that heartless man's face. When the moment dragged on without any of them taking a shot, Mon-El lost his patience._

 _"What is the matter, Lex? Too frightened to die? Then you shouldn't have joined the war!" He shouted. This wasn't the first time that he had found himself staring into the face of death after fighting in numerous battles, yet none had felt as suspending. Their mutual conflict had affected this situation gravely._

 _"It is **Lieutenant** Luthor to you, Union scum!" Lex corrected with venom in his voice. He was still too sensitive to his titles. It was curious how obsessed he was with iterations. Lex Luthor, Lord Luthor, and now, Lieutenant Luthor._

 _Mon-El scoffed. Inside him, emotions were boiling. Memories long pushed to the back of his mind was flooding his whole being once again. Holding his gun even tighter, the tremors along his hand became noticeable. "It was all your fault!" He growled through gritted teeth. "You're the reason she died!"_

 _Lex shook his head. "It's been over thirty years and you still hold onto a dead maiden? Have some respect, Mon-El! What would your wife think?" He taunted._

 _"Do not speak of my wife! You have no right!" Mon-El said as he finally rose to his feet, no longer below Lex's level._

 _"I have no right? Not after you shamed your family and mine by refusing to marry my sister?" Lex's eyes sparkled with fury. "Then again, maybe that was for the best. My family deserves much better than to be stained by the likes of you!" He spat at the ground in front of Mon-El is resentment._

 _"How dare you! You killed an innocent woman that night! You killed Kara!"_

 _"How old have you become to lose your memory!? I did not kill her, you fool!"_

 _"You might as well have! Those were your men! I hold you at fault!"_

 _"Then take your revenge if you are man enough!" Lex dropped his hand that was holding the gun and gave Mon-El a clear shot to pierce his chest with a single bullet._

 _Mon-El used both hands to steady the colt in his hold. His heart was pounding heavily, erratically. He had thought of this moment so many times, especially after Kara died. He wanted so badly to take Lex's life for the life he had taken, yet the promise he made to Kara prevented him to seek it. He had to be the better man. He had to realize that killing Lex wouldn't bring her back, nor would it bring him solace. Over the years he had learned to let go of this vengeance and spent all his energy on the family he had found. He couldn't betray the man he had become by stepping over his morals. He couldn't betray Kara._

 _The colt slipped from his hands and dropped to the scorched ground. Lex regarded him in humiliation. "I thought so. Always a coward." He scoffed coldly._

 _Mon-El ignored the insult and instead reached for his sword. "I will not take revenge! However, this is still a battlefield and we are on opposite sides. I will not give up the chance to take out an enemy!"_

 _Lex seemed to have preferred the option of a fair fight as well. "For once I agree with you. This should be far more entertaining than listening to your girlish feelings!" Lex dropped his gun as well and unsheathed his sword._

 _The two men circled each other, swords raised and watching the opponent's movements closely. Mon-El kept his pace, never making the mistake of attacking first. Eventually, Lex grew impatient and pounced forward. His blade hissing sharply as it clashed against his. Mon-El stood his ground and pushed him away from a few steps. Swinging his sword with a growl, Mon-El slashed the air and smacked at Lex's defense. Yellow sparks jumped out of where the two acute metals screeched against each other._

 _The two men pushed against each other with all their might, their swords making an X as they stared coldly into one another's eyes. Lex's eyes were clear blue, but nothing like how Kara's eyes reflected light and life. They were soulless. Emotionless like stones._

 _Lex's overcame Mon-El when his right leg once again gave away and threw him back. He tripped as he fell to one knee. He fenced the next blows Lex rained on him. Mon-El sensed Lex was losing his calm and giving in to his anger._

 _"YOU WERE ALWAYS AN ANNOYANCE IN MY LIFE!" Lex yelled as he clashed his sword down against Mon-El again. "A WEAKLING!" Clang "A VERMIN!" Clang._

 _Lex's fury had left him careless. Mon-El swapped his unprotected legs from under him. Lex smashed to his side with a grunt. Mon-El also stifled a groan when the action aggravated his old wound. Lex's sword slipped out of his hand. Mon-El didn't hesitate and leaped to his feet, pushing his weapon out of his reach before towering over his fallen enemy. The tip of his sword rested right below Lex's chin._

 _"KILL ME THEN, YOU WIMP!" Lex barked. There was no fear in his eyes. He knew Mon-El was above killing and was using it to trigger his anger._

 _He tried his best to ignore his attempts. "I am taking you in!" This was the right decision. Lex was a high ranked Confederate member. He knew of their plans. He was a valuable asset. No matter how badly he wanted his revenge, the logical part of his brain stopped him from stooping that low._

 _"I always planned for her to die!" Lex shouted in cold blood, making Mon-El's breathing falter. Seeing the look of appalling on his face, Lex continued tormenting him. "That was all I wanted! To obliterate her filth! She was corrupting you and I see I was too late to prevent it! She had already put her mark on you!"_

 _"AAAAA!" Mon-El's sword cut a little into Lex's neck. It was taking all of him not to kill this man. He was stepping onto the broken pieces of his heart. "SHUT UP!"_

 _"YOU WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE WITH HER!" Lex shouted despite the ultimatum, enjoying the pain he was inflicting._

 _"YOU WERE THE ONE WHO RUINED EVERYTHING!" Mon-El yelled back, his entire body shaking violently as tears pooled in his eyes. He let go of his sword and instead choked Lex with both hands. All his resolution about the wrongness of this action was fading. "You killed her! You ruined her! You ruined me!" He went off in a trembling voice and his tears dropped one by one onto the vicious man's red face. Lex squirmed beneath his weight, his hands clawing at Mon-El's iron grip on his neck. At last a flash of terror appeared in his eyes. Mon-El didn't stop, suddenly craving to witness life extinguishing from his eyes. He kept eye contact with the dying man, shutting off every other voice of reason. Lex's eyes bulged out and darting in every direction, gurgling, trying to find an escape._

 _Mon-El stared into his eyes unblinking. They were turning red. His ears couldn't hear anything. Instead, he was hearing Kara's dying choked breaths as her chest bled out in his arms. There was nothing graceful about how Lex was dying._

 _"…You made me so happy… " Kara had said with a bright, yet tearful smile._

 _"…I promise, I'll be the man you thought I could be…" He had vowed then._

 _With a stifled sob, Mon-El let go of Lex and threw himself off of him. How could he have let himself go this far? He was better than this. He had promised Kara - to his dying breath. Vision blurred by tears, Mon-El took a few deep breaths and attempted to rein in his overwhelming emotions. It was the biggest mistake to turn his back to his enemy._

 _And he was right when he heard Lex attacking him. With barely two steps away, Mon-El had very little time to reflect. The sword missed him by a hair. This time the Luthor seemed far past any games or taunts. He was onto kill Mon-El very seriously now._

 _Mon-El maneuvered breathlessly towards his own sword, escaping the lethal whips of Lex's sword very narrowly and getting a few cuts while doing so. Finally reaching his sword, the two once more clashed, sending flashes of sparks, but no more dancing or talking. It was a fight to the death._

 _Lex smartly kept his blows to the right, putting more strain Mon-El's injured leg. They fenced for a while until Lex kicked Mon-El in the weak leg. A muffled groan broke from his lips as his grip on the sword loosened. He felt disoriented moments before pain erupted in his side._

 _"UUUGGGHHH!" Mon-El whimpered as Lex's sword pierced his torso. His eyes could see no more for a few seconds. His back hit the hard, blood-stained ground. Lex pinned him to the soil beneath. The pain was intolerable._

 _Was this his 'the end'?_

 _Lex loomed over him with a victorious smile. He pulled out the sword from Mon-El's flesh, eliciting another anguished whimper from him. "Send my regards to Kara," He said in mockery, raising his blade to deliver the final fatal blow._

 _Everything went slow in that moment. His heart beat faster and his thoughts became clearer. This wasn't how it was supposed to end. It didn't feel right._

 _"…I love you…" Kara had said. Her eyes had been so bright and depthless. As though mirrors reflecting the Eria Comet still present in the dark zenith high above._

 _This wasn't right._

 _From a mysterious source, Mon-El felt energy surging through his body, flooding the arm still holding his sword. The sharp metal lodged itself in Lex's chest, his own bodyweight causing the blade to cut dipper._

 _Lex Luthor was dead before he could take a second breath. Mon-El had impaled his heart. The heart that had never cared for anyone but himself. His limp bleeding body fell in a heap beside Mon-El as he let go of the sword._

 _Mon-El was too weak to move any longer. Drifting between awareness and darkness, he wondered if this was where he finally died. He felt ready, however, there were still some last words he needed to write down in his journal. He was sorrowful for his family, nevertheless, there was not a single thing he felt regretful of. Except for how Kara had died. As much as he held Lex at fault for her tragic fate, guilt had never left his soul. He knew himself responsible for it partly. Could this burden finally be lifted off him?_

 _He heard footsteps. Ally or enemy, he could no longer tell apart. Before losing consciousness though, Mon-El vaguely thought he heard James Olsen's voice again. Had that stubborn soldier disobeyed his direct order and had returned for him?_

* * *

"Wake up!"

His chest was heavy as though a boulder was on him. Paralyzed by his nightmare, he could barely breathe. And that was beside the excruciating pain he was feeling right where the sword had cut him. Right between his two lowest ribs, to his left. He couldn't help but moan at the pain. A hand instinctively clutching to the source of pain.

"Mon-El!"

The voice called again and this time warm fingers brushed over the cold sweat covering his face. He shivered at the touch, desperate to answer it.

Mon-El's eyes finally cracked open and he wheezed through his shallow breaths as they landed on a dark silhouette in the equally dark room. He couldn't make sense of anything.

"Mon-El?" The voice whispered softly as the caressing of his face continued. Mon-El saw the faint light from moonlight making her hair glow. It was golden.

Slowly, his mind calmed from the whirlwind of dark and painful images he had been trapped in along with the pain. "K…Kara?" He asked hesitantly in a broken voice.

The shadow nodded, moonlight bouncing on her free tresses. "Yeah, it's me."

"Kara!" Mon-El wasn't sure what he was supposed to say. His mind was all over the place. The pain in his side felt dull now.

"Shhh. I'm right here." The fingers never stopped their movement.

Mon-El finally found his strength to push himself up and wrapped his arms securely around her. She instantly responded by embracing him back. His throat was tight in a way that told him the tears weren't that far behind.

"I'm right here." She repeated. "It's okay. It was just a nightmare." She assured in a murmur as she rubbed his back and brushed his hair soothingly. He soaked in her warm presence as though it was his lifeline.

The action made memories flood his mind. All the confusion. Their second lives. His almost mental breakdown. She had comforted him the same way.

Pulling away tentatively, Mon-El reached blindingly for the lamp on his nightstand and flicked it on. The orange glow spread over her face and the crumbled blanket on the bed. He must have been squirming too much during his nightmare.

Kara was wearing one of Charlotte's white nightgowns. It was as long as her ankles and had delicate lacing over the chest. Her hair was falling freely over her shoulders. For a moment, Mon-El was pulled right back into the memory of those nights he would climb the tree up to her window late at night, just to talk to her without their parents knowing. She had looked the same in a simple white sleeping gown. He had to blink a few times in order to bring himself to the present.

As he shifted to sit on his spot breathlessly, he remembered the pain once more and couldn't stop himself from checking his body, just to make sure while the dream was still so vivid. Mon-El lifted his damp from the sweat t-shirt and touched the intact sweaty skin. Kara was watching him silently.

Mon-El looked at her in embarrassment. He didn't know what to say, but Kara apparently did. "You were dreaming about your death, weren't you?" She whispered hesitantly.

He could only nod. His nightmare wasn't exactly what had actually happened, but more like a mixture of Kara's death and his last day on the battlefield with all its horrors. Now that he was awake, he could tell them apart.

"I- I got bad dreams too. I couldn't sleep." She admitted and only then Mon-El noticed the journal in her lap. Kara followed his stare. "I finished it right before I heard you calling my name."

Mon-El's eyes grew wide. He didn't remember ever talking in his sleep. Had he really called out to her that loud without even realizing? And she had read all of his journal. She knew now.

A moment passed in silence until Kara opened the leather cover and fiddled with something. She drew out a small square paper. Mon-El was confused. She held it up to him. "I found this tucked into the cover…" Her eyes held so many emotions and questions as she handed him the paper.

Mon-El took the paper and turned it over to check the other side. It wasn't a paper, but a picture. A very old yellowed picture of his family. All five of them posing for a camera. It was the picture he always carried with himself to remember them while being away. He had forgotten about it.

His hand flew to stifle a sob that was suddenly broke loose from his throat. He didn't expect the picture to affect him so instantly, but it did. Kara's arm wrapped around his shoulder, shushing him softly again. It took Mon-El a while to compose himself. He felt like he owed Kara an explanation despite her already knowing most of it. He didn't know what bothered him most. Them not being alive anymore, or him having them left alone all those years ago so suddenly. All he knew was that he was heartbroken beyond imagination.

"This is Michael, my eldest," Mon-El began in a trembling voice, pointing at the tall youth standing proudly next to him in the picture. He was like a carbon copy of Mon-El. He was almost eighteen in the picture. Kara leaned closer, touching the face over his finger. She was mesmerized and all ears. That gave Mon-El the courage to continue. "… and these are Elinor and Adeline, they… they were two years apart, fourteen and sixteen. They fought all the time, but were inseparable," A mournful chuckle escaped him unintentionally which made Kara smile warmly in return. Mon-El noticed the tears in her eyes. He looked back at the picture to introduce the only remaining member of the family. "… they both took so much after their mother… Imra," His finger slid to the left, to point at the woman sitting on a chair in the middle, with her hands interlocked on her lap. Mon-El looked up to see Kara's reaction. She was staring with her lips ajar. For a long minute, she didn't say anything or look away.

"Were you happy?" Kara suddenly asked in a hushed tone, staring now intently at Mon-El.

He sighed deeply and looked back at the picture for a moment before answering. "Knowing my children was the best gift I could ever receive… I… I loved them…" He lifted his head to look at Kara again. "I may have wanted that life with you, but even so, I'm grateful for this family. They made my life worth living." He finished as a single tear streamed down his cheek.

Kara too was silently crying. She reached for Mon-El's fisted hand on his knee and held it with both of hers before putting a kiss on his knuckles. The gentleness of her action made his curled, stiffened fingers to loosen, melting in hers.

Mon-El knew there were things unwritten in his journal and needed Kara to know about the truth behind his marriage. "Imra and I were friends… she was from a noble family that had moved into Crimsonwood and were trying to find their role here, to find connections. I respected her highly. She listened to me when no one else seemed to care. We shared similar visions. Marrying her was the logical thing to do. I needed to establish my family and gain more power in order to change the old ways my parents had been using to suppress our workers. As soon as my father passed away, I took control of the business and freed all the slaves the Gand family owned. Mother and uncles were furious, but they had no power, because as the only son, I had inherited everything and was the Lord," Mon-El paused, licking his dry lips. Kara was watching him in a trance. His hand was still trapped between hers, which she was clinging to as though it gave her a connection or comfort. He picked up where he had left off. "Imra was by my side and supported me. Her family's wealth helped me giving the poor workers a decent payment. I gave them back their freedom and told them that they were free to leave and seek any life they desired anywhere they wanted. A few left but most of them remained. I used my inheritance to build them good homes instead of those shameful shacks they lived in and I gave them most of our lands to be their own, so every year I bought the harvest from them instead of taking it as my own. Our incomes got a hit, but we managed and things started to get better gradually… it was only then that I found out about Imra carrying our firstborn, Michael. His birth and then our daughters brought a light into my life… something I never knew I missed. I never had strong feelings for Imra, but I was fond of her and with time… I grew to love her… I was content," He finished his story and felt another astray tear prickling his face.

Mon-El heard Kara taking in a deep breath, letting out a sigh and looked into his eyes with trembling lips. In her eyes, Mon-El saw a deep sorrow, yet there was underlying and paradoxical happiness to them. The tears still glimmering in them made it even harder to comprehend what she exactly was feeling. Kara swallowed hard, attempting to control her emotions before a wide smile appeared on her lips. "I'm so happy that you had this beautiful family." Her voice shook as she said those words, however, they were sincere and genuine. Mon-El could tell. Her reaction warmed his fearful heart.

Kara looked down to his limp hand still held in hers. She guided it to her lap, her fingers touching and brushing over every detail of it, her eyes glued down. He knew she was struggling for words. He had to give her a moment.

"Our love was like fireworks. Explosive, flashy and out of control. There wasn't any logic to it. We didn't make sense together. A Gand boy and a Danvers girl? It defied everything," Kara paused with a scoff and raised her head to face Mon-El. He felt anxious for her following words. Comparing their love to fireworks had many interpretations. Fireworks were also very short-lived. Did she mean that she had lost hope in his feelings for her?

She continued, "I can never express fully how awed I am by what you created out of the broken pieces I made of you. How much I wanted to be a part of your life instead and be by your side and give you the family you deserve. I cannot deny this pang of jealousy I feel when I see that someone else filled that place, but… I would never, ever, not even for a moment blame you or anyone else for it. You deserve to be happy and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. You never needed me to become the man I admire so much. I- I'm so … so-sorry," Kara's voice cracked with a whimper as more tears rapidly fell down.

Her entire demeanor broke with the apology and Mon-El immediately reached to cup her face. "Kara, no one, no one, will ever take your place in my heart," He told her as tears rolled down his face before pulling her into his chest and letting her cry. She kept whispering apologies over and over and there wasn't anything he could do to change it. This mirrored his own breakdown. There was just too much to unpack. Too much to go through and they were all too heavy to grasp. And all very traumatizing.

Mon-El wasn't sure how they came to be wrapped around one another on his bed. They must have fallen asleep together into restless slumbers, drifting in and out of nightmares or memories – there was no way to tell them apart anymore as they had merged together – and clinging to each other to survive the dark night.


End file.
